Between the Sun and Wind

Between the sun and the wind is a hard place to define. They both are illusive entities. But if you can find just the right amount of both of them, then you will experience the perfect temperature and ambiance. Like I said, this perfect balance is a hard thing to define and find.

Yesterday I wrote a post that many took the wrong way . . . and that would mean that there was definitely too much sun! Some days when you are in the Hairy Armpit year after year, its like way too much wind . . . things are cold and lonely. Well I certainly have not been lonely these last 20 hours or so!

The kids are home from BFA and it is amazing that I have such awesome kids. When I was a kid, I was not awesome . . . I hovered at low-end mediocrity for most of my life. So as a dad, between the sun and wind is a fine place to find. Thank you Lord!

The International Church is going really really well for the most part . . . though we are still searching for the perfect tension between the sun and wind there . . . we are getting closer, and more and more people are coming to Christ!

The Seminary teaching is going well . . . for the most part I have found that balance between the sun and wind at ETS and being there often encourages my soul. The students love me and the administration tolerates me.

Brenda is cranking with ENTRUST training and this those incredible Alliance women have largely funded. Brenda is basking in the perfect balance of sun and wind. Her ladies are growing in leaps and bounds!

My wish yesterday was to assist the CMA in finding the right place between the sun and wind . . . I guess I will keep floundering around until I can find a better forum to discuss these matters.

5:14 am and the Police

Policemen generally like me, but at 5 am no one likes me . . . heck I don’t even like me. In case you can’t tell I am not much of a morning person. I am not even much a mid-day person! But at 5 in the morning, I am far grumpier than usual, so this morning when a policeman pulls me over on a deserted stretch of highway and tells me that I have to pay a 2000 denar fine ($43.95 at today’s exchange) for doing 45 in a 37.5 zone . . . I was not too pleased by that news, plus I had a passenger in the car that I was taking to the airport (why else would I be up at that hour?!).

I told him “no way” (which is what you are supposed to tell policemen here), and then he took my license and car papers and told me that I was going to have to go to the police station and pay the fine. I would have gone with him under normal circumstances, but the passenger in the car has gotta get to the airport! “We have to go pay it right now“ he says to me, ”because I get off my shift at 6:00.“ That is when the alarm bells should have started going off in my head, but not only am I generally grumpy at 5:14 in the morning, I am also mentally befuddled. All I knew was that I had to get Mark to the airport in time to catch his flight. So I wave my arms in the general Macedonian ”I am so freaking frustrated with you“ fashion and get back in my car. That got both policemen involved and they said, ”get back out of the car!“ and were flashing their flashlights at me.

And so I asked him, ”what do you want now? I gotta get to the airport! Tell me where the police station is and I will return after my airport trip and pay the fine and get my documents back.“ He just stares at me . . . and then finally hands me my documents back and told me to slow down. This was so strange, my mind should have really started humming . . . but like I have already said, my thought processes form about as fast as cheese at 5:14 am.

It was only when I was back in the car, and starting to drive away that I realized the whole thing was a shakedown, priming me for a bribe. Just offer the nice policeman half as much as the actual ticket would normally be, and then you are back on your merry way. Of course at that hour, he is lucky I did not just climb into the back of his cruiser and go to sleep. In the hours before the earth turns to that magical point where the sun appears, I am not the sharpest knife in the drawer. On the other hand, there is something to be said for early morning mental density . . . my passenger got to the airport in time, I got my documents back, and didn’t even pay a denar. God clearly is looking out for the simple.

The monkey and the coffee grinder

A rainy Monday, filled with all types of challenges (read problems) and pressures. Its hard to find joy. Ministry too often feels like the proverbial monkey and the organ grinder (or was it a coffee grinder). Twisting in circles and going no where, while expending huge amounts of energy.



Confusion about the next step, tendencies to stay with what you know, unwillingness to risk, uncertainty about why you are doing this in the first place are the symptoms of the monkey grinder business. Yeah yeah yeah, I know all about the you are so gifted and God has called you to such heights and all that jazz, but somewhere someplace there has to be some reason you stick with it, doesn’t there?

Ok, so I do have that song Rainy Days and Monday’s always get me down running through my head and this one is both. But its hard to inspire your church family to reach for all the best that God has, when you are having another rainy Monday in the Hairy Armpit.

spunky monkey

There are few things in life more exhausting and exciting than Jr Highers. Personally I can’t stand them. It is one of my least favorite ages in the childhood spectrum. But occasionally a real gem comes along and you think, “Hey, this rocks!” That would be Spunky Monkey.

She is amazing. She has more energy than ten locomotives, and is more excitable than cat in a room full of dogs! Everything is said and done to the extreme. No middle ground anywhere. It is exhausting just to see her in motion, and let me tell you, she is in constant motion!

What I like about her best is that she is my favorite youngest daughter and she totally blows me away all the time. She is the most social person in the entire universe. Her people capacity is off the charts. She is a top athlete and will take on any boy, any day, and often win. She is fun and frisky, fantastic and ferocious, and feline and frenetic all at once. I wouldn’t trade her for anyone or anything in the world. She’s my Spunky Monkey!

F.O.D.

Every family has codes. Some are funny, some are silly, some are serious. When our children were small, we would speak most command words and phrases to them in Russian . . . they seemed to respond much more quickly for some reason when we did that, although we never did figure out why. It is a miracle that our kids turned out remotely as well as they have so far, considering the places we have dragged them to and through, and still do.

My code-speak for Heidi is F.O.D. That would mean that she is Favorite Oldest Daughter since I have two daughters, and they both are my favorite, daughters that is . . . recently I wrote about my favorite son here. Heidi often signs her letters and emails to me FOD. And frankly, she should . . . she is amazing.

We were just visiting with her last week while she was on Spring Break and we were finishing a mini tour raising money and teams for our Parent Organization. I rediscovered that there are vast differences between my 18 year old college sophmore, and the average 18 year living in the States. Now I am not taking credit for those differences, because it is impossible to discern which of them are due to the trauma of being our daughter and which of them are simply due to being an MK, and which of them are due to Heidi just being Heidi.

As I sit here in the Zurich airport looking at the light snow falling, thinking about the week we just spent together; the differences I noted in Heidi versus her roommates at college and other gals her age are striking.

1. Delayed gratification: This is almost a forgotten concept in the world of people my age, but in Heidi’s world, this is a completely unknown, never-before-discovered idea! Everyone has everything, and they have it now! Yet Heidi is doing without many of the things that all her peers have, in order to complete her education as soon as possible and with as little debt as possible.
2. Focus: I was flabbergasted to see the level of her focus. Few people have such good solid sustained focus. Most folks, regardless of age, are fairly unfocused and lack concentration or even goals. Heidi has them all in droves.
3. Hard Work: My three teenagers have complained frequently in their lives, that all the other kids work part-time jobs and have tons more disposable income than they do. I do not allow my kids to work real jobs until them reach college . . . then work is expected, not only allowed. Heidi now works two jobs, has a fulltime load of classes, and manages her time quite nicely. It is rare to see someone her age work so hard. Her roomies would be a much more typical example . . . they start a movie at about 11:00 pm each evening, while Heidi is going to sleep (because she has to get up early and go to work), and then Heidi gets up, goes to work, then to class, and returns to their room to find both roomies are generally still sleeping.
4. Intelligence: This is not one that she has more of than other people her age, just how she applies it is fascinating to watch. Her understanding of people and academics is just so good . . . it’s like she is much older than 18.

And I could go on and on, but suffice it to say that I am so proud of her, she is definitely the F.O.D.

24 hours – a whole world changes

That is about what it takes to get to the Hairy Armpit from the USA. This trip was full of misadventures as usual. The best one being, leaving my backpack (and that would include all computers, electronics, passports and tickets) on the shuttle bus from the rental car return to the airport. O.J. Simpson would have been proud of my run through the airport to catch up to the bus . . . though we (the backpack and I) were separated for 15 minutes or so, all was well in the end (the bus driver was looking out for me since I tipped him well).

And of course we got lost driving to the airport and the other usual assortment of travel related horrors that usually occur to me when I travel . . . but that is not the amazing part of travel, that is just the normal part of travel.

The amazing part of travel is that the whole world can tilt on its axis in just a short 24 hours of traveling. The landscape changes, the mode of travel changes, the dress changes, the attitude changes, the architecture changes, efficiency changes, gas prices change, phone sounds change, the smells change (the sweet smell of cigarettes once again), standing-in-line protocol changes, the vehicles change, the expectations change, the welcome changes, the price of coffee changes (my venti cappuccino was $7), the signs change, the pace changes, how things get done changes and of course the culture and languages change as well. It almost seems like we left earth (American earth that is) and landed in outer space somewhere or a different planet or solar system entirely.

How quickly one forgets all these differences when in the USA for a few weeks . . . what did not change is my inability to save anyone, the way folks fill their lives with meaningless stuff in search of meaningful stuff, the way they worry about their families and their felt needs, the way they pursue something with all their busyness, the emptiness in their eyes, and their need of a Savior. A whole world of changes, yes, but most of the important things stay the same no matter what side of the planet you happen to be on today.

My favorite son

There are so few things in life that are excellent, pure total joys. It seems that everything is tainted and twisted and less than perfect in some ways. But today was an exception. Oh there were plenty of challenges about today, don’t get me wrong . . . church was horrible, we spent money like water down a river, I had to say goodbye to my parents, niece and brother.

But it had a perfect moment as well. We were able to call Jake in Germany and talk to him for a few minutes. He informed us that he has been asked to be the Captain of the JV soccer team at BFA. And then he told us that he went with the Varsity team this weekend to their game, and that he got to play and that he SCORED!!

We were so thrilled for him! It has been great to see him begin using his immense natural gifts of leadership, and to have others recognize these things in him as well, and then ask him to use those gifts. Man, my heart is about to burst from pride.

The only thing that could have possibly been better would to have been there and seen it for myself. But that does not diminish his success at all. He is my favorite son.

A master craftsman, a dream renewed

I am gifted, but generally in a negative way. That means that I have the spiritual gift of getting in the slowest line . . . always. We can be at the toll booth, the grocery store, the border crossing, whatever, I always choose the slowest line. My children will not allow me to decide such matters any longer! This gift often spills out into other areas of my life as well, such as you could see from my last post. So I was resigned to an additional two month wait to hear the potential music from this master crafted instrument.

Well the craftsman, who is indeed a Master at his work, did an amazing thing, . . . he decided to ship me another guitar! And I received this amazing guitar number two yesterday and played for hours and hours! If you are looking for an amazing guitar, handcrafted one piece at a time, by a musican/master craftsman, then go here and order yours today!

After playing for three hours, my chord quality started to noticably deteriorate. In comparison to the 45 minutes - one hour that I can normal produce good music on my current guitar, is a testimony to the phenomenal playability of this handcrafted instrument.

I have played in three different worship bands in three different churches these last three weeks with three different guitars . . . all excellent guitars that I would have been pleased to own . . . but this one . . . is a pleasure that defies words.

a broken neck, delayed dreams

Two agonizing months of waiting specifically for this moment. I am not known for my patience to begin with, but especially for something of this nature. So I finally finished tour, and it’s on my birthday of all days! I get up at 5:00 am. Speak all morning in church, lunch with pastor and friends, catch a flight to Atlanta, grab a rental car, get daughter, drive to parents house, and immediately open the package.

The package was a custom made guitar . . . a fine gift from a CMA fellow in New Mexico. So the whole family gets into it and helps me get the fine fellow out of the package! It took some work, because it was so well packed. Once we got it out of the awesome packaging, I quickly laid it down on the floor and opened the case.

It took at least a full five minutes to recognize that the guitar was broken. I thought at first, that the creator had simply shipped it loose, in order to protect it from damage . . . but then I began to suspect it was damaged . . . and then over the next 15 minutes the dread deep in my stomach began to churn some serious acid. The guitar’s neck was clearly broken.

I took these pictures right away for insurance purpose, and then the next morning as we disassembled this is what it looked like . . . shattered. The guy who built it was super cool . . . we talked on the phone, and he wants it back, and he can rebuild it and I can get it in May.













But I gotta tell you, I have felt sick for the last two days. This is the bitter taste of disappointment. Sharper than I have felt it in many years. I have to admit that I am vastly disappointed in this delay, and I am even more disappointed in myself.

It is a shame that I can feel such a sharp sense of pain over a thing. Mind you a beautiful wonderful superb piece of workmanship that I so desperately want to get my hands on and play . . . but in the end, still a thing . . . and the disappointment of all disappointments is that I can care so deeply about a thing and some days have a hard time caring nearly this much about people. How does one fight against being possessed by possessions? How does one balance a keen appreciation for excellence and workmanship, with a thing’s eternal value? I am pondering these things as I examine my heart.

Freebies

Sometimes everything in life seems to have a charge connected to it. It feels like you have to pay for each part of living. And the expense just keeps growing more and higher each year. But not everything costs . . . somethings are reciprocal, and some are actually free in life.

I am one of those people that enjoys all three for the most part. For instance, I don’t mind paying for an excellent meal in an excellent food joint! In fact, come live in the Hairy Armpit for a while and your appreciation that you have a fine food joint available will provide an extra intensity to your appreciation. Last night, the pastor here in Butler took us out to Red Lobster, along with his wife and daughter, and although I did not pay for the meal, it was worth paying for, and in fact I would have been glad to have paid for it.

Some things are reciprocal. Friendship is one of those. But the best ones feel free. Kimmy is like that . . . it is reciprocal, but no one is really keeping count. He and I have just made a commitment to being together as much and as frequently as possible. We have made a commitment of trust (I bought a house sight unseen based on his recommendation and he has access to all my money . . . OK that is not much, but he actually has my checkbook!) He has often told me that I only need to ask, and whatever I need is available. I am pretty sure he knows that the reverse is true . . . it is reciprocal, but it feels free . . . but the fact that we both nurture the relationship shows that it is really not free. But in truth, no one in the CMA has a better friend.

Some things actually are free. For instance the wireless internet I am using at this moment in the Pittsburgh airport is free . . . or at least it appears to be so. I am not paying a direct charge for it. I may be paying an indirect charge for it through the cost of the ticket or something like that . . . yet some things, are really free. This morning at 6:45 am the sun burst forward in brilliance over the horizon in Butler . . . and the montage of amazing colors that preceded it, the white snow, blood-red horizon, cobalt blue sky were free . . . and glorious. God knows how to paint a landscape.

15 mk's sleeping in the airport

There are places to stay in this world and I have been in most of them at least once. Hotels so bad that I actually wore all my clothes to bed because I was afraid of what slept there last and because of a deep certainty that the sheets had not been wash recently. I have stayed in places where the host and hostess gave up their bed for me, and although that meant that I slept on a wood slat bed (with no mattress or blanket) it meant that they slept on the floor. I have slept where the host insisted I keep the German Shepherd with me, in order to have some extra protection. I have slept in airports with 15 elementary-aged MK’s while their parents were frantically waiting all night at the other end of the trip. The mk’s and I were sleeping in some kind of nursery, so the bed was only long enough for me to have half my body on it at once.

This week while in Butler PA, we have been staying in this historic log cabin in the photo. As you can see, it’s the real deal! But it also has an ultra modern addition built on to the back and so it is the best of both worlds. Often churches will do stuff like this, put the missionary up in the most amazing homes, I guess to be a contrast to where we normally live. And mind you, Brenda and I are enjoying the amenities of this completely, we aren’t fools! Hear me loud and clear! We are enjoying ourselves! We head back the hairy armpit soon enough.




On the other hand, I have realized something while on this trip. The amazing beauty of this home and what that represents does not impress me. (this is new for me) It’s comfortable and luxurious to be sure, but I am a bit disturbed by how much everyone wishes to hear us say it’s awesome. Do you know what I mean? If they were only wishing for me to be properly awed and grateful that I get to stay here, that is one thing. But there is envy and longing attached to most people’s comments about this home and some of the other amazing places we have visited while on this trip. And that is what is disturbing.

It is one more rope tying me to this world, making this my home, rather than eternity. One side of me says, “lighten up Aderholdt!” and I agree that some people can hold such blessings with no possessiveness at all. But the practical side of me says not many of us can. As I wrote in Decor Consciousness last week, our earthly homes have become something with which we are obsessed, and we rationalize this addiction away by framing it in an “investment” context. Possessiveness is not OK, investments (being a good steward) is OK in most people’s mind.

I am not judging anyone, but sometimes it is easier to see some things when you have been away for a long time, and I for one, don’t want to hold on to anything in this world that will take my eyes off of Christ and Him crucified = the Kingdom to which we belong. It’s getting harder and harder to say, “this world is not my home”.

10.9 seconds remaining

Tension, suspense, anticipation, expectation and anxiety are the elements of excitement and this is the stuff that makes life, well . . . lively. There is far too little of these elements in our churches today. As one person said to me recently, church is boring . . . but does that mean God is boring?

It would be great to have the energy of a professional sporting event at church. There are few things the American culture offers that is more exciting than going to a hockey game with a bunch of Christian guys. Except maybe when the tying goal is scored with 10.9 seconds remaining in the game. That is exactly what happened last week! The Capitals were down by a goal and the game was in its last minute . . . we were all standing up and screaming and begging for a tying goal, and we got it with exactly 10.9 seconds left to go in the game. It was total bedlam! If you could have harnessed the energy and excitement in the Verizon center in Washington D.C at that moment . . . it could have powered the entire country I live in for a month!

I had so much fun at that hockey game, words fail me! But a hockey game is not real life. The energy there is selfish and focused on winning and crushing the opponent. Unfortunately many people find that to be their existence . . . an intense competition to win, move ahead, crush others and get more than anyone else. That is a sad truth.

On the other hand there are similarities between the Capital/Lightening hockey game and real life. The one I want to focus on here today is the time factor. The point where a professional sporting event and life intersect most closely is that there is a limited time factor. The intensity of the hockey game in that final minute was palpable. You could have cut the tension with a dull butter knife! The roar of that tension could be heard all the way down into the subway tunnel! I am surprised that you did not hear it!!

We all are running on limited time as well. The Church is also running on limited time! I am running on limited time. Anyone of us could be down to the last minute. Our neighbors and friends could be in their last minute. Time is running out . . . where is the urgency in our lives . . . and where is that tension (excitement) in our church?

Nancy Pelosi and Pelosi Air

You have never seen a political blog written by me, because I am not a political person, nor am I a big believer in the political process. Furthermore, I am not even sure that Christians should be involved in the political quagmire of the modern world. Yet if you are one of the Family that follows political issues and hoopla, then you are probably aware that Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi has demanded that she and her staff and her family and the entire Northern California delegation have access anytime to military aircraft that can fly her to San Fran non-stop on request. This created quite a political quagmire for the first female Speaker of the House. One blogger called it Air Force To Become Pelosi Air (here).

So imagine my surprise when she walked right past me while I was sitting in Ronald Reagan Airport Friday! Ms. Peloski passed within 5 feet of me with some of her staff members, catching a commercial flight out of DCA! Good for her . . . flying with the masses is good for her, as it is good for any public servant. In other countries, the PRESIDENTS fly on regular commercial aircraft. In the Hairy Armpit, I flew at least twice with the former president (before he was killed) Boris Trajkovski to Western Europe.

Now these chance close encounters with powerful people are not all that important. They seem important, because of the power they wield in the modern world, yet the reality is that my prayers to the Living God each day are far more important, as it is clear and obvious, HE is far more powerful than they. Not only that, He is far more accessible than politicians. I once was planning to talk to President Trajkovski, but his 900 gorilla of a bodyguard quelled that clever thought of mine! So even though I was sitting five feet from him for two hours, he could have been on the other side of the planet in terms of my potential to have a conversation.

Thus proximity does not necessarily equal access. Yet, we have the best of both worlds with our Father, access and closeness all at the same time . . . I think I am giving up on politicians and staying with Him, the sure thing.

2822 kbps

This unreal speed is what I enjoyed today. What is so special about this you might ask? Well, it means that you can get twice the work done in half the time or faster! For instance, I have been building a website at my domain which showcases the work and projects that Brenda and I are engaged in and you can see that here.

But I could not have uploaded all of that work so quickly without this blazing internet speed here . . . and that is only working a few hours per day, because of all the people I am meeting and the appointments to speak that I have. So we have been able to shape some Kingdom information points in a time-efficient manner, and that frees me up to do the people gig which is why I am here and frankly is far more important in the long and short run.

But I gotta tell you, it’s going to be hard to go back to Hairy Armpit speeds after experiencing this! Thankfully, our communication lines with God are far faster, instantaneous in fact! Better yet, those communications are far more certain and sure than any in the information age. I turn my attention to heaven, and Father hears. I turn my ear to heaven and Father speaks. There is no internet equivalent anywhere! God is so good to us.

decor consciousness

I was quietly enjoying my sweaty workout. It was early morning in the rec room, and I was the only person in the room, pedaling away . . . when she came in. She took charge of the room. She turned on a tornado strength fan to get the air moving in the room, and she turned on the TV . . . loudly! And she turned it on to a channel that I never knew existed . . . something like Country Living TV or some show like that . . . long story short, it was showcasing home after amazing home.

This is a phenomena of modern America that I have never seen before. Crafts and color coordination out the wazoo! It is the ultimate in self expression. Even pastors have to be conscious of these factors in ministry to American gals . . . if you are not decor conscious then you are nobody!

People are so into the ambiance of their homes, stores, restaurants and churches that from my silly position as a missionary, it is an apparent case of the tag wagging the dog. Production and efficiency has given way to style and personal preferences. I wonder what larger implications this has for the church?

Mind you, I love a good atmosphere as much as the next person, and way more than the average guy:-) This is a great feel-good process and the results are pleasing to the senses. On the other hand, I worry a bit that I am just making the Gospel less painful, less harsh, less bitter, less difficult and most of all just lessening the focus on the Gospel, and instead making it more about me.

So while one side of me wants to be decor conscious and thoughtful about ambiance, the Gospel still initially rips life, before it repairs it and makes it whole. I am not sure decor consciousness is the right vehicle in the modern world to make a stable bridge to the gospel and all the implications of it, but this sure is a pretty room.