I am going to die soon!

That was the word from my 13 year old daughter. Then my oldest daughter pipes up, "yeah my days are numbered too." They were being pretty serious. We were discussing the first command in the bible with a promise, that one should honor their father and mother. What is so fascinating about this conversation is that my kids do honor us; they actually even like us! They tell us that this is not the case often with their peers. Interestingly enough I felt the same way that my daughters do when I was their age. I guess it is always easier to see where you fail rather than where you succeed.

Here is a photo of the two of them together!


What is it about how we see ourselves and our actions that is often super critical? Then at other key moments in life it is as it we can’t see ourselves accurately at all! To know thyself seems to be a significant challenge that takes an entire lifetime . . . or at least I haven’t completely got a total grip on me yet. I just need to make sure I keep as a filter, that I am a child of the living God, and I think I do. But that filter seems to have two effects, one is that it reminds me constantly that I no mere mortal locked into an existence of 75 years. Two though, is that my Father is so high and far beyond me that I cannot measure up. Even the fact that He knows this and forgives me already does not help my feelings of unworthiness.

It seems that the power of sin is in its secret life. And as Ray Anderson points out the church is often an accomplice in this secret by affirming only those who appear to be righteous. Let’s face it, the very very last place on earth that a struggling Christian can confess that struggle is with brothers and sisters in the church. The problem is this, we all struggle at some level. So today I confess, to whomever may read my words, I struggle. There I said it. No super Christians here.