Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Six sheep heads for 300 denars

While at my local butcher shop this morning, I noticed the above advertisement, six sheep heads for 300 denars, you buy five and get one for free. This frequently offered delicacy keeps this particular butcher hopping. I was tempted to try it myself for about 3.1 seconds and grill them out alongside the pork chops tonight but in the end I passed. No one in our family likes mutton unless the Turks are preparing it.

There are instead of the luscious sheep heads, 15 pork chops spread out on the dining room table marinading prior to their date with the grill. In addition to the chops, I will be grilling sweet paprika peppers which then will be peeled and covered in garlic and oil. Combine that with Brenda’s potato salad and we will be rocking on all fronts.

But I digress from my sheep heads. Sheep heads today on sale at the butcher shop for some unfathomable reason stuck me as a solid analogy to people who under the guise of caring for you or the work that you are doing, obligate you. Let’s face it, there is not much meat on a sheep head, delicacy or not. It is akin to eating chicken feet in a Dim Sum restaurant. All you can do is gnaw on it and suck off a bit of flavor, but substance you will not find.

I have, like all missionaries I know, sheep heads in my life. These are often the people who apparently care the most, give the most, carry on the most . . . and they actually may indeed be wonderfully guilty of said crimes, but they also keep a pressure on to do something in return. Now you do not have to have a 3 digit IQ to come to the conclusion that in a sense they do deserve something in return. No one is arguing that fact. But when you multiple such relationships several hundred times over, the corporate pressure is no small thing, its a tsunami!

They could quickly and accurately detail for you all the various things they have done for us over the years, and I do not doubt their accounting one whit. It is the fact that they are keeping count which nullifies all that they purportedly are so selflessly accomplishing on our behalf. They are weighing us and we are found wanting. They are keeping count, no matter how generously they may be giving, and the scales (to which generally only they know the balance) are never balanced. It is a doomed dance . . . because I know not the song that they are moving to, nor can I dance with 400 partners at the same time. These supporters say not to write when in fact they expect you to. They say not to call or come by but you better. They say all manner of things that they simply do not mean and thus it is a game that the receiver (us) can never win. We cannot possibly bear the emotional weight alone of so many relationships, no matter how special or important this one may be.

But still we try, because we need their prayers and resources far more than we dare admit. This is in my estimation the dark side of partnerships. Now I recently wrote an entire doctoral thesis on partnerships and I am, needless to say, generally very positive about partnerships. Partnerships are key to ministry. Frankly ministry very well may grind to a complete halt without such folks. But this aspect of it stills feels like a sale of sheep heads.

1 comment:

Beth said...

I hear the sound of a thousand missionary coffins rattling with muffled "amens."