free will versus "unwill"

We Westerners are big on believing that we shape our own destinies, our own futures, our own worlds, our own lives. For instance it would be typically American to think that I choose Harley Davidson over any variety of rice burners. But in reality our American culture highly promotes Hogs over ricers because they are American made. Thus Volf would argue that I have been "made into" a Harley guy. Objective reality is that I have enjoyed every single motorcycle I have ever owned in my life and the overwhelming majority of those motorcycles have been made in Japan. But in America right now, there is simply something ultra cool about owning a Harley. So I do.

But did I exercise free will in this purchase, in this desire, in this decision? Luther said that someone was always riding us, either the devil or God Himself. Yet does the devil or God chose for us? Do they compel us to a certain action? (Luther called this possibility "unwill") Or tempt us? (Or if you prefer a more palatable term as it relates to God - does He draw us to a certain path?) Depending on the level of influence/power you ascribe these two characters in your decision-making will determine how you answer this question. But even if we are not physically and emotionally forced by someone, it still may be a mistake to think that you are autonomous and authentically making independent decisions.

We are complicated creatures and are pulled in many ways, all at the very same time. My education pulls at me all the time. This is the side of me that is logical, methodical, focused on the facts, data, reality and frankly is a bit arrogant and very confident. My roots pull at me all the time. This is the side of me that is ferociously independent, emotional, irrational, passionate, focused on how I feel and what I want, and is very insecure and afraid. In between those two lie my experience in life, and it is the rubber band that keeps trying to integrate the two.

My old man (pre-Christ) pulls at me everyday. It is the self that I am valiantly putting to death each day, and the weapon it fights me with is self-absorbtion. Preoccupation with myself is the key to the old man's power. My new man (since-Christ) pulls at me everyday. It is the self that I most want to realize and live out. Its power lies in giving freely of all that I have. It is focused on others. Preoccupation with people is where it thrives best. In between these two forces lies Christ on a cross. He is the Power that diminishes one and builds the other.

These four real genuine elements of who I am, compete at all times for primary position. They are far too intertwined to simply make a straightforward and simple decision. They influence me, even when I don't realize it. They drive me even when I don't want them to. It is not a matter of simply deciding that one or the other is primary. It seems to be a matter of transformation (Romans 12:1) more than free will. Yet if free will is what I wish for, this transformation becomes all the more important, because it is only through Christ transforming these other elements in me (notice I did not say removing them, but rather transforming them) that I may find the release from these four holds on me (and you) in order to finally decide for myself.