That is what Emma said to me. I don’t think she meant it as a compliment. But what she said does not jive with the way that I perceive myself, and so I asked my boss and he was more diplomatic than Emma, he said that when something was important to me, that I kept pressure on it until I got it done satisfactory manner. Still not sure of this control-freak status that Emma had assigned to me, I ask my lovely bride of 20 plus years, what she thought, “Brenda, am I a control freak?”
You would think that this should be a yes or no question. I found that answering this question was more complex than that, and that means that I am more complex than a simple yes or no. Brenda remarked that no I was not a control freak in that I had to have a finger in every pie; that I regularly give ministry away and recruit people actively to be involved and that I give away responsibilities. Yet, yes I am a control freak in the sense that I want what is done to be done well, and that that tenacious pattern could easily been seen by others to be control-freaky.
I was OK with this feedback from Mark and Brenda, because quality control is one thing; keeping everyone and everything under your thumb or not giving ministry away are entirely something else. I want to be the first, and I can’t stand the second in anyone.
It is risky to ask people such open-ended questions, because . . . of course . . . you have no control of the answer or feedback that you are going to get. Yet if you are not open to a feedback loop, then you are most certainly stuck in whatever rut you have dug for yourself. Frankly I am glad that Brenda, Mark and Emma love me enough to tell me what I am, and where I need some reflection. Now if only I can be smart enough to change what needs to be changed.
The reason I asked Brenda and Mark was because they were strong enough to have already asked me to be a part of their feedback loop.
You would think that this should be a yes or no question. I found that answering this question was more complex than that, and that means that I am more complex than a simple yes or no. Brenda remarked that no I was not a control freak in that I had to have a finger in every pie; that I regularly give ministry away and recruit people actively to be involved and that I give away responsibilities. Yet, yes I am a control freak in the sense that I want what is done to be done well, and that that tenacious pattern could easily been seen by others to be control-freaky.
I was OK with this feedback from Mark and Brenda, because quality control is one thing; keeping everyone and everything under your thumb or not giving ministry away are entirely something else. I want to be the first, and I can’t stand the second in anyone.
It is risky to ask people such open-ended questions, because . . . of course . . . you have no control of the answer or feedback that you are going to get. Yet if you are not open to a feedback loop, then you are most certainly stuck in whatever rut you have dug for yourself. Frankly I am glad that Brenda, Mark and Emma love me enough to tell me what I am, and where I need some reflection. Now if only I can be smart enough to change what needs to be changed.
The reason I asked Brenda and Mark was because they were strong enough to have already asked me to be a part of their feedback loop.
No comments:
Post a Comment