There are days I hate God. At least if I am honest, that is what it feels like. Because I do not in any form or fashion like what He is asking me to do. Mind you He is not asking me in a really direct manner, but rather, He has me pinned in and there are no other choices.
Like for instance, I hate God on sendyourkidsbacktoboaringschool days . . . like today. The house was a home for three weeks, filled with screaming yelling laughing kids and activity. Now its just a building. It's empty. The kid's have gone away to the regions beyond us and are now our kids and boarding school students. We don't see them for months and months at a time and it just isn't the same. If I do what I do . . . be a missionary . . . then God has me pretty pinned in, and I do not like Him on days like today. I hate what this costs, and don't really know if it is worth it.
These are also the days that I need Him most, because He is only one who can comfort me through this. I am glad that He is bigger than me.
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