Systems revamped!

I had a real embarrassment today, like I haven't had in years. I completely and totally forgot about a very important meeting. 15 minutes after I should have been there and on point, I get a phone call, and BAM instant awareness that I had majorly blown it!

Now that I have done as much damage control as I can exert today, I am sitting in a near empty cafe (because it is raining), drinking a mineral water, with a Nicaraguan and my mobile office, reviewing what happened and how it could have been prevented. It is like Peter Senge's seminal text The Fifth Discipline, came back to haunt me. Calm my racing heart! The very systems that I use to be as effective as any three other people, those very structures, my over-reliance on them, created a hole, and I fell into it.

This is a very important lesson, that I not grow weary of redundancy in my systems of execution, that I not  become casual about what I have allowed other people to place on my schedule, that I not let down my guard in the pursuit of excellence, that I always under-promise and over-deliver.

An ice cream free Sunday?

This time of the year is the, I-am-the-foreigner-and-I-know everything-you-need-to-learn-to-have-the-success-that-I-have-had, seminar time here in Eastern Europe. One after another! It is like they have a factory of these guys spitting them out our way! It is so frustrating, that a person from a completely different culture and language and history, believes/thinks/has convinced themselves, that if everyone does what I have done, the results will be the same.

This is not the Einstein equation of insanity where we are expecting different results by doing the same thing time and time again. This is Double Einstein equation of insanity where by doing certain actions in a totally and completely different environment, culture, language and country, and wanting and expecting the SAME results as you got in the first country when you did those certain actions! Doubly insane, perhaps even more so! This is like putting gasoline in a car and driving 600 miles, and then putting gasoline in a diesel car expecting to drive 600 miles, and you won't get even 6 miles! (This I know from very hard personal and expensive experience) This is like being in Northern Canada in the dead of winter and wearing very nice and wonderful Patagonia gear to stay warm, and then going to South East Asia the next week and trying to wear the same gear - you will die. This is like growing up under a constitutional Monarchy and then trying to enter into the ludicrous American political system of the electoral college. This is precisely like standing on a busy street corner in Russia trying to navigate the purchase of a house, while not speaking a word of Russian, with only Thai Baht for currency, and the lawyer across the table speaks only Siberian!

And on I could go, seriously. You have no idea how embarrassing it is to be an American living long-term abroad, and to have someone from your country come here and kill your credibility with ignorance and arrogance.  No amount of coaching can fix this, no amount of debriefing will help this significantly. It takes years of learning a language and a culture and a people, and LISTENING rather than teaching, of being humble, of understanding that the people you work with are your equals in every way that matters, that you have far more to learn than you will ever be able to teach.

The speaker yesterday gets up and says, "You have to make your churches seeker driven, user friendly, unchurched Joe sensitive. In our big huge church (ok he didn't actually say that part but it was implied) back in ole' America, a person gets greeted at least seven times. We start in the parking lot, where they get their first greeting, then the narthex", etc, etc ad naseum. Dude, we don't have parking lots at our churches. The vast majority of the people coming to church here don't even own a car! Why would you have a parking lot?!? And when you enter a church here, you shake hands with every.single.person!! Stick that in your "we greet every person seven times starting in the parking lot" pipe and smoke it! Do you sense that I am upset here? That is why you are reading this blog! You are one of the intelligentsia. 

America is event driven, time focused, and all about "creating community." Here we are relationally driven, everything IS community, there are no seekers, only the desperate. Take your socio-theology which has little to do with God, and much to do with Western Culture, and keep it to yourself. If you want to be missional (in the missionary sense, not the quasi-spiritual idea that everything is missions), and cross the oceans to learn. Cross the oceans to learn another language. Cross the oceans to learn another culture. Cross the oceans and learn some humility, and shed that ignorant arrogant coat from the West you are wearing in my country.

On second thought, just stay in America or wherever you came from! Thank God you don't speak Macedonian! You could do unspeakable damage with your ignorance and arrogance . . . and best of all we would not get to enjoy the translation mistakes :-). The speaker was most proud of the fact that his big huge church in America gives every guest a free ice cream sundae - and his proud point was translated, "every guest receives an ice cream free Sunday." 

 

Do it over?

It is Friday and the lesson of the week is, I am in charge of my schedule and I need to exercise that control. Otherwise I will overbook the week, and then spend all my time pissing and moaning about how busy I am and overtired I am. How counter-productive is that!

This is a lesson that I have to learn over and over again it seems, as I lower my guard and let slippage of my scheduling occur. It is a critical mistake on my part, and perhaps you find yourself doing the same thing? It is ever so easy to do, especially when trying to compress too much into too small a space.

We tell ourselves that we are leveraging the available time to maximize the results, but personally I just find this exhausts me, and marginalizes the potential value. I seem to be most susceptible to this negative phenomena when I am in a city for a short period of time, and when I have too many commitments to fit into that time. And I tend to do this when I have competing agenda's and work on either end of the trip - and then it spirals from there.

This is doubly negative when clients and work is shortchanged and nothing is as well accomplished as it would be under better planning. To have the discipline required to say "no" is the linchpin of decision making. If the work is important enough to do in the first place, then it certainly is worthy of having my best, and I (nor can you) can not produce the best work when under-resourced. Adequate time and energy to do it right the first time is the only way to do it right, and as John Wooden says, "If you don't have time to do it right, when will you have enough time to do it over?"

More on Expectations

You could easily look at the Shoulds and the Musts as the Obligations and the Commitments. There are some nuances here, but really it was more a widening of the understanding of the implications of what living with these understandings mean, more than anything else.

The nuances for me are something like this; Commitment is softer and fuller than Must. Softer in the sense that it can, but doesn't have to have undeniable urgency. It is more adult in how it feels and less hormonal or driven. Fuller in the sense that it involves my heart and my brain and my experience in more complete ways than Must does. However, it fails to have the irrefutable inevitability that Must incorporates. It doesn't have that, "this is my air and I need to breath" feel to it at all. Instead it is a "let's be a responsible adult human being" feel and vibe.

There are a few things that I want to feel Must about. There are far more things that I want to be committed to. Nor do I think we have to vilify Obligations and Shoulds. While I don't want them controlling my life, they often bring great gifts to the party and journey. Let's not throw them under the bus! Rather, let's place them in a proper thoughtful place in our lives, where we have plenty of freedom to say "no" and clarity about when they are harming us or helping us.

Which one learns?

I just spent four intensive days on the road, meeting with leaders from early in the mornings, until late into the evenings. These leaders cover most of the spectrum of leadership, from those young and just getting started, to those older than me and at the peak of their game. It was fascinating to listen and learn, which one of them best positioned themselves to learn more, get appropriate feedback and make progress.

Logic would say that the older more experienced leaders would be the top performers and also the one's who most actively sought appropriate feedback for assessment and for making some forward progress in their worlds. Did.not.happen. Those leaders with the largest responsibilities and longest and deepest reaches, largely failed to activate the feedback loops which could have supercharged their leadership. Those who were just getting started, were sponges, and took some very direct hits, in order to move forward.

I am generalizing, and there were some beautiful exceptions to these examples. Yet a humble learning posture was the key missing factor in those that had the most to gain. They are the ones most blind to the story that they are weaving, to the opportunities that are passing them by because of their biases and agendas, to their failure to learn and grow.

And what about me? What about you? Which group are we in, and how are we certain of that? You got it . . . because we are gonna be humble servant leaders who invite (perhaps insist!) that our feedback group/mentors/coaches/peers, tell us the truth of the matter, about which group we are REALLY in. The one who learns is the one who is able to humbly listen.

Be Big!

I had an early morning conversation that ran through the trials and difficulties of working for non-profits and missions abroad. One of the things my friend and I decided was the most negative in those worlds is the penny-pinching and the tight-fistedness of those cultures. One of the stories that I told my friend, was how missions and non-profits consistently try to lower the rents each year, how to pay the local hires for sub-standard wages, and generally are well known locally to be the most selfish and the people who pay the least wage for the most work.

What a bastardly way to be known! We shared stories about how our PREVIOUS parent group was always pushing us to live in smaller and smaller places, to cut corners on all things financial, to pay the least for the most value at all times. 

I don't know about you, but I do not want to live this way first of all, and second of all, I never want to be known for being such a money-grubber. I mean why would anyone ever want to follow the Savior of a group of people who live like they are on the edge of poverty and despair all the time, while being actually rich people in a poor country!?!? Why??

Well of course no one wants to follow such a Savior or such followers. My friend and I have long come to the conclusion that we want to be BIG people. Not the Wal-mart American variety, but rather the amazingly generous, the unwaveringly selfless, the indefatigably unselfish, the incredibly responsive . . . that kind of BIG. The success or lack of it that follows you, is probably related to this issue, no matter what field you are in. Be Big People!

Don't ever

If you are in the helping/coaching/guidance/perspective/development business as I am, one of the most difficult things to NOT do, is make decisions for people, or pressure them into a certain path. While you may find that you are far more objective and experienced and aware than your client may be, you still cannot do this for them.

If you do, you will find invariably, that you also become responsible for the success or failure of what you pushed them toward. Even if they only partially follow your directives, you still will (in their minds and in reality, truthfully) bear the burden of responsibility for future events and results (or lack of them). In other words, you have to provide clarity, ask questions to help them discern, paint verbal pictures of what the futures might hold, tell the story in effective ways, to help them see and decide their destination or next steps. You can only be non-directive, no matter how certain you may be in your conclusions of a matter.

It is their life. It is their future. It is their decision. You will never have the freedom to push too much or too hard for a certain path. If you can't restraint yourself from doing so, then you need to find a different career. You can freely say what you "think" will happen down each possible path, and you can describe what often happens when people chose or don't chose a particular course of action, but no one, no matter how wise and no matter how experienced can accurately calculate the human factor. It is the unknown wildcard. It is the beauty of this one wild beautiful life that we have been given, that we chose our paths and courses in life, and we have to live with the consequences, be they good or bad . . . and that perception too, is probably unknowable as well.

Expectations

I see that being back in Eastern Europe is not conducive to my blogging patterns in the same way as Asia has been. What is different? Expectations.

The Shoulds versus the Musts. The Shoulds are what other people think we ought to be doing. Musts are what we have to do, what we are compelled to do, what we are called to accomplish, they come from deep within our hearts and passions. Expectations that others have of me in Eastern Europe keep me on a different track and schedule than the Musts in my heart.

When the Musts are at the top of the work pyramid, life is simpler, there is more clarity, less clutter, less busy tasks, more satisfaction, more contentment, more certainty, less ambiguity, more "no's", less "yes's", more accomplishment of what matters and has meaning and significance for and to me. A big part of living a life that matters is moving toward a life of Musts rather than Shoulds. It is the heart of Essentialism, the art of diligently pursuing less but better. It is what I push myself and all my clients toward daily. It is THE key component of PTA - protecting the asset - me.

What is driving your actions today? Can you recalibrate and move toward the Musts? I have reset this day even though it is late in the afternoon, because I realized that I was doing good and important things, rather than the best and most valuable things. It is a subtle but critical difference.

Transitions

Life is full of them, mine more than many others. A highly productive, very satisfying trip to Asia is winding down. Laundry, packing, sorting, last stops at the noodle shops, kind of day. Now a long two day transition back to Eastern Europe, with lots and lots of long hours of sitting, people watching, reading, flying, and hopefully some sleeping too.

It feels like flying is a full time job and that airports are my second office/home. But since I am flying West this time, it won't interrupt my daily fitness routine nearly as much as flying East does. It won't even interrupt my work routines either, in fact, will give me a chance to catch up on some thinking, and writing as well.

The only downsides are monotony and limited geography (the confines of the airport) to walk around and explore, and the lack of decent high quality food at a normal price . . . and some physical stiffness from enforced sitting for hours on end. But since I am only going a quarter of the way around the world, rather than half way around the world, it won't be too bad I hope.

Asia has been good to me as usual, I feel 10 years younger here, my blood pressure drops into a completely normal range, the super spicy food is just so yummy, the temperature is sweaty hot, and the prices for just about everything are super low. Good indeed.

Saying no 1000 times

Steve Jobs in 1997 stated that "Innovation is saying no 1000 times." He also went on to say that he was as proud of what they did not do, as he was of what they did accomplish. Even though he said it 18 years ago, I think it is more true today than it was back then.

It is really difficult to have a perspective that is so self-aware that you are just as proud of the "no's" as you are the "yes's" and that is when you know you should be saying no 1000 times more often than yes. Before you just completely dismiss that thought as so outrageous as to not be important, think hard about it.

There are several equally important issues at stake here. First of all is opportunity. I was recently re-reading a book that my mother wrote about "Growing up on the farm" before Alzheimer's started wrecking her mind. The shear volume of hourly choices in today's world versus "Growing up on the farm" is mind-boggling. It is such a severe contrast, that it is almost like talking about aliens from outer space. You and I have so many amazing possibilities and opportunities, that we must say no 1000 times! Part of the problem is that people of my generation have been brought up to say yes all the time, because our parents did not have any of these opportunities. We gotta get over that right now, and realize that Jobs had it right for the most part, Innovation (uniqueness, meaning, significance) is in saying no to the 1000 BSO's that want to capture us (Bright Shiny Objects).

Second of all is clarity. Every single time we carefully say no, we sharpen and refine our clarity about where we want to go and are aiming. If you don't know where you are going and you don't know what you are aiming for, you are sure to reach it. Clarity is that critical awareness that I am spending more and more of my significant thinking time developing. Clarity is a J curve, the more I get, the more I want and need, and it just keeps going . . . I haven't found its end yet.

Thirdly is focus. All of this begins to funnel me down a brilliant path toward what I can best do, that few others can do as well, to that which is my best contribution to making the world a better place for all of to live, an easier place to discover the Creator and His love for us. Focus is a wonderful terrifying place, where what you need to be doing well is clear, and there is no longer any place to hide from that responsibility.

Saying no is the very best possible path to the right yes. It is the right synergy of opportunity, clarity and focus to give you the best leverage to change the world.

You don't need permission to make the world better

You really don't. No you can't change everything. And no you can't do everything, but you can do something. I am so tired of people talking about the need for change, and who fail to every DO one single thing to make that change happen.

Take human trafficking for example. I speak about it when I am out trying to gather resources, financial, human, intelligence, commitment. EVERYBODY thinks trafficking is horrible. Dozens tell me with tears in their eyes that they want to come and help, people write me afterwards and tell me they feel God is calling them to come and help, and to date (more than three YEARS of talking about this) and not one, not a single one has bought the freaking airline ticket and even come to SEE what is going on, much less "helped." What a crock of s**t!

People do what they want every single time. They have time and money for all their toys, TV's, phones, cars, cats, cable, facebook, surfing, music, American Idol, etc etc etc etc.. You do what you want every single time.

You want to know what I want? I want to be able to tell more stories like this: that one week ago two little girls, sisters, were being terribly abuse, and today they aren't. Period. You go have a great time on your facebook hour! You do what you want, I did what I wanted.

But I can't tell enough stories like that one, because we don't have enough resources to do more. Yes we will continue to rescue every single one we can, but please stop telling me you want to help! I know you are too tired and too busy and too extended and too stretched and too everything. You do exactly what you want to do every time. So do I.

And I picked this make-you-feel-extra-guilty-subject of human trafficking on purpose so that you might pay attention. You do what you want every single time. But this principle is at play in church development, church planting, leadership development, discipleship, having foster kids, micro-business development, clean water, market place ministry, community transformation, sanitation, urban housing, ethnic tensions, political abuse, democracy, pick your place and choose your goal, but do something. You do exactly what you want every time.

You can do something. You can. You make choices all day long every day. Its your turn as Seth Godin says. You don't need permission to make the world a better place for someone other than yourself. Do it. Talk is optional.

I woke up

I woke up

Feeling super shitty this morning, like a train had rolled over me slowly all night long. Achy sore pain everywhere, and so I took the Aderholdt cure all; a spoonful of Skippy's extra crunchy peanut butter, along with a spoonful of Nutella, along with four ibuprofen tablets, and then walked my sorry ass out the door and got on my bicycle and headed up the mountain! 10 miles later, all uphill, I was feeling human again.  I know you probably don't believe me, but that is precisely what happened and what I did and how I handled it. Life is too short for lying around.

As I assess people as potential new clients, this is one of the primary reasons I reject them. They want a developer who will make life easier. I want a client who shows up. 

A client who does not show up everyday, mentally, emotionally and physically, can rarely be helped by a developer. And the kind of help I give people is the cold hard honest truth most of the time, and that doesn't make life easier. Instead it opens the door for scale and a bigger and deeper impact. That is more. Not less. I think Seth Godin said it, but showing up is about 85% of success.

Pinned down

Pinned down

I have been pinned down or pinned in, however you chose to look at it, for most of the day. It is rainy season here in SE Asia and currently it is living up to its moniker. Usually at this time of year, they are regular isolated showers, kinda like what you have in Florida, where it rains every day, just not all the time. In the past, my normal wait time until a shower passes is about 15-20 minutes max. Today it has been more like an hour to an hour and 15 minutes, with little break before the next one comes along. As I look over my shoulder, I see yet another one coming. (break here, so that I don't get my gear wet)

OK, where was I . . . pinned down. You can be pinned down by almost anything, if you let yourself. You can be pinned down by finances, an ecosystem of thinking or technology or study, by geography, by the past, by the future, by distance, by assumptions, by ethnicity, by education, by lust, by expectations, by character, by your family, by the Shoulds in your life, you can even be pinned down by the desire to stay dry. And on and on I could easily go seriously!

However, if you reframe it, anticipate, plan, expect, create, turn around, view it another way, rethink it, recreate it, refuse to accept it, exert your will to chose another, expand your mental gymnastics and deny the common accepted responses, then you are free.

Free to choose a different path, a different solution, a different payment, a different future, and a different today. You may not be pinned down at all.

They know

They know

Your customer knows when you don't have their best interest at heart. Your kids know when you are bullshitting them. Your client knows when you are not giving your best effort. Your spouse knows when your mind is somewhere else. Your boss knows when they don't have all of your attention. Your team knows when you are less than fully engaged. Your friends know when they are no longer your top priority. Your pastor knows when you are just going through the motions. You know when you aren't getting it done. And they know too.

When you gonna stop living a divided, unfocused life? When are you going to start focusing on now, and doing it right? When?

Done!

Is it all done? Are you all caught up? Do you feel guilty? Like you aren't working hard enough, or you are wasting precious moments of life or some other dire thing like that?

Well stop. This is the result of you working precisely enough. That there is an end, a stopping point, a place where you can say, "I am all caught up!" And it is a place you haven't been at in YEARS! So stop. Quit beating yourself up and feeling guilty or lazy. 

Enjoy this very cool moment, that you have been working toward, in all its glory. More emails will come. There are other tasks that will have to be done soon enough. You may have finally found that super illusive balance that you have been trying to get right forever.

A techblog

A tech blog

This is purely a tech geek blog, about my experience traveling for four days while working in rural Asia with nothing more than an iPhone 6 plus and a Zagg bluetooth keyboard (http://www.gottabemobile.com/2015/01/05/zagg-pocket-keyboard-for-iphone-6-plus-note-4-more/). 

Obviously, the first trade off comes in screen real estate. There is simply no way around that. The up side of course is the tiny-ness of what I am lugging around all day in 100 plus degree temperatures. However, the screen did not prevent me from accomplishing a single working task over the four days. It did require me to make some adjustments, take some additional steps, and it did slow me down in searching for specific emails or Evernote files or anything that results in screen/visual complexity. 

However the majority of my time at the "computer" on this trip involved answering emails, reading RSS feeds, saving those feeds to Pocket or Evernote, writing blogs like this one (I write them in Drafts), typing notes in meetings and consultations, sharing information with clients - and I usually did that by sending it to them than showing them something on my screen like I would have done with an iPad or with my computer.

I also found that using this setup encouraged me to massively tweak the mobile apps that I was using, to better utilize them, finding ways to do things more simply or better, since jumping to my MacBook Pro wasn't an option. Perhaps inconvenience is the mother of creativity and full utilization? I am really pleased with the tweaks that I made in Drafts, Day One, and my Squarespace Blog.

There was also a discernible adjustment period, . . . and when it finally kicked in all the way, I found myself no longer longing for more screen real estate, nor minding the fact that I was in uber-mobile-mode. Unfortunately that took the majority of this trip. But somewhere today, I completely made a mental jump into the void of ONLY having an iPhone 6 plus and Zagg keyboard, and at the moment that feels like it would always be enough. However, I did not attempt the entire month's log of work on this set up, and when I get to the third week's work of sending out client emails and logging them in both Evernote and Numbers, that is most often when I use TWO computers at home. Yet for the hell of it, I might try to do the whole thing from this set up just to see how difficult, or extra-time consuming it actually is . . . although the thought I doing it this way, sounds complicated to me. 

Finally it should be noted that when I arrived at the airport here in Siem Reap Cambodia, I grabbed a $5 sim card (Yes you read that correctly, with 1.5 gig of mobile data!) for my phone so that I had text and internet ability for the duration of the trip, maximizing the reach and capability of my single work tool. You CAN do more with LESS, but the trade-off seems to be primarily one of simplicity for size/weight, once your brain gets accustom to having this size screen all the time. (The most annoying trade-off was iOS mail in landscape mode! Uuuurrgghhh!)

Twists of fate

As I argued in my last post, when faced with conflicting information, you have to keep moving forward until all things play out, even though uncertainty is higher than before, less is sure than before, and all your plans hang in some unknown and unknowable balance that you have no control over.

The conflicting information that I was specifically writing about in the last post was that one (usually highly dependable) tool of information informed me that my final flight of the day had been canceled by the airline for unstated reasons. And honestly, who can control that?

However, I STILL went to the airport. I still took for first legs of the trip, because who knows how this would play out? No one. The airline assured me that they were planning to fly to my final destination. On the other hand, my experience in Asia has long since taught me that the true-ness of a matter is far less important than maintaining face - usually what you hear when you ask a question is the answer that the person thinks you most want to hear. So the true-ness of whether my flight was going to actually occur was in question until I was seated on the flight.

And in the long run, I was actually able to catch an EARLIER flight than the one I had originally scheduled, and that was canceled (well they changed the departure time and the flight number which lead the whole conflicting information to begin with). If you don't press forward, if you don't continue to take steps toward your goal, then you have already failed. And who knows, sometimes in the end, conflicting information can lead you to take initiatives that you otherwise would not, and the payoff can be an early arrival!

When the data doesn't agree

Today is a day to make the most harden traveler flinch. One source of data is telling me that my final flight is canceled and that I won't reach my destination tonight, another source of data is telling me that all is well, and things will progress as scheduled. The implications to this day and to the work in multiple countries are heavy. I will lose far too much money and even more time, if the first source is correct. I will only suffering an amazing amount of stress and have heartburn for the next three days if the second source is correct.

When the data doesn't agree and throws your well planned and highly organized work structures into ambiguity hell, what do you do? 

Well first of all you have to keep moving toward the goal. Even though you are far less sure that you will get there now, and you have no real and viable contingency plans, you have to continue to take every possible step forward. Yes you have conflicting data, no you can't cancel the hotel room on the same day of scheduled arrival, yes you are gonna lose money, no you don't have a plan B. But maybe, just maybe the second source of data will actually play out. You simply cannot take the risk and stay home. That is not an option. Because if you do that, you WILL lose everything you have sunk up to this point, as well as the future results.

Second of all, you need to start spinning some mental alternatives to perhaps implement along the way. I know your options are limited. I know you already have tons of sunk cost into the product or project. But this is out of your control, you have conflicting data, you don't have nearly as much hope that things will work the way you had planned, as you did yesterday. Uncertainty is high, predictability is low, start spinning some mental alternatives.

Finally, go with the flow. Learn. Make the very best of all those unexpected bits of data and conflict and uncertainty and issues. What is being forced upon you can still bear some gifts especially if you set your attitude and mental framework in the right modes. Relax and enjoy the moments along the way, then you gain something valuableregardless. 

Air Conditioning wont cut it

After a long absence I am back in Asia. And it is hot. Really hot! And since I came here from a much cooler place, the sudden spike in temperature (think double overnight literally), the great temptation is to sit in the air conditioning all day and night. This is a deadly temptation, because who likes to sweat and sweat and sweat? I mean it is totally seriously three showers a day kind of hot.

Yet the only way to live, to experience, to BE in Asia is the stay in the heat. It is the only way you will acclimate to the temperatures. It is the only way that you will see the sights. It is the only way that you can taste the exotic dishes. It is the only way to truly enjoy Asia . . . you have to walk through the heat, sit in the heat, eat in the heat, work in the heat . . . and soon, most folks realize that their baseline temperature adjusts, as they become accustomed to hot hot hot. Hot is relative after all, to whatever you are comparing it to. (Note: I do use the AC at night, but lightly, mostly for the white noise, and at a much higher temp setting than most foreigners)

This has multiple life applications, regardless of the kind of work you produce and generally applies to most industries in my opinion - you gotta get out into the heat in order to understand your world - whatever your world may be. If you want to be doing something meaningful, you can't sit in your room or at the hotel or at the expensive restaurants that have air conditioning, because you cannot possibly experience what the real world is like in those places. Air conditioning won't cut it. Get a sweat on!

Shot!

I got shot today. There was no reason for it that I could discern, but nevertheless. At first I thought that something had fallen off the roof and banged hard against the post next to me. The second shot beaned the post a bit away from me. The third shot hit the glass next to me, then I knew for sure that someone was shooting, a BB gun or a slingshot perhaps, because the glass did not break, I knew it was not a pistol or something deadlier. 

So I immediately closed the computer, so that the screen would not get hit and broken, and at the same time started watching the neighboring building for the shooter, or some movement which would let me know, where to focus my attention. I never saw anyone ever, so that did not work. And the fourth shot hit the drain pipe behind me. The fifth shot hit me in the hand.

I am pleased I did not get it in the eye, and at that point it became clear that I was at a great disadvantage, not being able to find the shooter nor protect myself in any way, so being a prudent person, I left the balcony. Since I am scheduled to be here for another three weeks I am at loss about what to do . . . other than stay off the balcony, however that was one of the main selling points on choosing this place to stay.

There are multiple parallels in this story to life. We often get shot at, for no discernible reason, in unexpected places, which forces an intelligent person to alter their course of action. Then to not lose momentum or be forced to take actions that prevents you from reaching your goals, you have to mitigate the frustration, pain and discomfort of being forced off your original plan. It is in situations like this, that you can shine. You might even find a better alternative than your first path.

Trade off's

Life is filled with trade off's. Navigating these in a clear and wise manner is more difficult than you realize. I think it comes down to having clarity about the long term and the short term transactions, and that requires a perspective of the bigger picture of our lives than we acquire easily.

The worst trade off I ever made was in Russia 20 years ago, and it taught me a very important lesson about this subject that has helped me many many times over the years.

We had been in-country only about three or four months, when we took a required trip down South. Upon our returm at nearly midnight, with three very small children, none of the transportation that we had acclimated to, trams, buses and the like, were availible. We were under the impression (perspective) that we were too poor to afford a taxi. I am not joking. I am completely serious. Our leaders, who had drilled this perspective into us, disappeared without a word when we returned, you guessed it right, in a taxi. We waited in the cold and dark in a dangerous part of the city for over an hour before we caught the last tram of the day. With three babies. In Russia! Not one of my brighter moments in life, that is for sure. And not a memory I like to revisit, but it has served a great purpose in my life.

Yet I see churches and businesses and people do this all the time, with equal or great potential consequences, because they don't have clarity, they don't have perspective, to choose the right trade off. Clarity or perspective is worth 80 IQ points in my opinion, at least, and Alan Kay said it and I am agreeing with him. It is the most valuable gift I can give my clients, it is the most valuable commodity you can seek. It is a gift that only gives the best returns. Make certain you are choosing the right trade off. And if in doubt, get some outside perspective.

Memories?

There are always favorite memories about places you have been and things you have experienced. And often when you get back to those favorites, the renewed experience can often be . . . less than you remember. I have had this happen to me many times in five plus decades of life.

But I am getting better at accurately rendering what happened in one place or another and I have spend most of today, renewing favorite experiences. And so far I am batting a 1000! One technic I believe has helped me tremendously with this, is living in the moments better. I enjoy what is, without trying to make it be something else. About three years ago I started practicing this for a very particular reason, and that may become the topic of another post, but I can see now that it has helped me return to a place I was over one year ago, and successfully and fully navigate the memory experience conundrum.

You will find this to be a significant part of your skill set if you live anything like I do, in a suitcase more than anything else, moving from one client to the next, or from one country to the next, or from one problem to address to the next. May the memory, as you enjoy the moment, be with you. Sent to you from one of my favorite places, on a rooftop in Asia with a good cigar and a nice breeze on a 100 degree day.

hope against hope

Hope against hope

You know how it is when you are wishing for the unlikely, the very "lucky" or the unheard of, or the fanciful? That is hope against hope. The one I am wishing for today is no seat mates, to have some space to sleep and stretch out my legs a bit on the flight to Bangkok. Like I said unlikely. The numbers are simply against you, the odds don't lend it a likely probability.

It is not just stupid, this hope, that would be doing something like playing the lottery, or driving the wrong way on the interstate and expecting to avoid an accident. But in this case, it is "low season" in Asia, meaning that is not the time of year when most people are heading that way for a holiday (nor am I), and so I may have a better than usual hope.

In work and life though, this is a poor way to plan, strategize and execute. It is far better to bank on reality, what is, what can be reasonably expected, what the current norms are for culture, or business, or whatever field you are working in these days.

My clients who most consistently produce something valuable, something beautiful, something innovative, are those most willing to face the music of real opportunities, or at least willing to work hard and make those opportunities happen. Hope against hope, no seat mate today . . . excellent, but it was just a hope, not a reality that I shaped and designed and work toward diligently. I will still take it though!

Sometimes you have to go to the source

I am learning that sometimes you have to go to the source to get what you need. Habanero sauce in Macedonia for instance. There is a great sauce that we experienced at the local Mexican restaurant. But we haven't been able to find in the local grocery stores for about a year now. So on a free/open day like today I took the chance to return to that restaurant to see if they were still serving it and to ask them where they get it. 

We don't particularly like this restaurant because 1. The music is too loud, 2. The food is expensive and 3. Marginal taste as a general rule though my wife feels this much more strongly than do I. But compared to the other excellent restaurants and dives we have available to us, it does have some shortcomings in this particular market. Through I would argue that they also have one overwhelming strength- that they serve food unlike all the others at our disposal.

So when you want something really different from the regular fare available, this is a viable option. However I digress from my primary point. So I came here today because Brenda is out of town (so I am eating alone) and because we are almost completely out of Habanero sauce at home :-). Bingo!! Boom!! Good pork chops and you can purchase the Habanero sauce right here - in fact ONLY here.

Sometimes you have to go to the source to get what you are looking for. I would say that is true concerning Habanero sauce in Eastern Europe as well as: 1. The Truth of a matter in your personal life  2. The understanding of the nuances of a situation. (What is apparent rarely is) 3. The tools you need to lead many situations and 4. Spiritual direction.

Future-thinking 2

To continue along the lines of the previous post, Marshall Goldsmith blogged about some elements of future-thinking and what he called "forecasting" the environment that we live in, grew up in, and are surrounded by, that influence what we can and cannot change.

This is directly related to future-thinking. You will see the elements line up pretty well. His first encouragement is to . . . 

Anticipate, which is basically my entire last post about this subject. He argues that good leaders and good business folks are all about Anticipating, future-thinking, seeing around the corners before they get here, you follow the drift, in order to . . . 

Avoid. He quotes Drucker, and I am going to quote him quoting Drucker, "Half the leaders I have met don't need to learn what to do.  They need to learn what to stop." Honestly I spend 65% of my time working with clients on this point alone. It seems that far too many of us have drank the kool-aid and believe that we must say yes to every challenge and problem that comes along in order to prove how valuable and irreplaceable we are to the world (and perhaps to ourselves?). This results in the majority of us being bogged down in very good things, while never having the discernment nor margin to do the great things, and accomplish the powerfully significant for the world, for humanity, for God. Stop your delusional belief that you can do it all. No one can. No one ever has. No one ever will. Let this empower you to . . . 

Adjust. Adjust your expectations. Adjust your assessment of your capacity. Adjust your will and talent and skills to the very essential stuff. You get the idea. Adjustments happens most timely and easily when we are focused and forecasting our situation and environment. The entire point of future-thinking in my opinion to to be ready, able and willing to make the adjustments that invariably come along, and will derail us if we aren't prepared.

Future thinking

Yes I had to change locations in order to be inspired enough and to have some mental space in my brain to write this blog. I have strongly advocated such changes in environment to get your creative juices flowing on this blog many times in the past. Today I had to take my own advice.

Because I am visiting the parentals, and one of them is a different person each time they wake up from a nap, and they take several dozens of naps throughout the day! The happy contented person who fell sleep 20 minutes ago, wakes up a sullen unhappy person . . . who falls asleep and then wakes up a completely incapable person who struggles to find the bathroom in the very small house they have lived in for the last 52 years. And no, we did not change the location of the bathroom. This is life with a parent struggling with Alzheimer's and dementia. At least this is how it expresses itself most days. There is no possible way to predict what the next nap will hold for all of us - those of us caring for the comfort and well-being of the said person.

It strikes me that this is also a challenge with future-certainty in any subject. The one topic most people seek my advice on is "what will the future be like, if I make this change or that change in my work or parent group?" I, of course, can give a general trends kind of answer to such a question, but there are no guarantees at all, because of the multiplicity of factors that will effect that precise outcome in the future. And trust me, the factors are far more dependable and predictable in vocational fields than they are in Alzheimers patient's naps results! Yet precise and bankable predictions about where you will end up from the decision you are making today, five years down the road, are frankly impossible.

Future-envisioning is still an important practice though, because if you don't do it with some diligence, you likely will not recognize the factors that ARE within your power to choose, when they come along. As the parentals grow older, more challenged, more in need of my regular appearance and assistance, the more I need to future-envision how I can work and live effectively, while providing the ever-increasing more that they need from me. If you are trying to answer a similarly quandary, the answers you come up will vary from mine, because of the health issues your love ones face, the flexibility of your job/vocation, the resources available, and your location in the world relative to them . . . and at least a dozen other factors that I haven't even future-envisioned yet . . . probably.

But to construct a life-work balance that meets your needs today and tomorrow requires some diligent thinking and inspiration in order to mitigate the risks and maximize the rewards for all stakeholders. 

Advice? Take a long walk, or ride your motorcycle down to the coffee shop, or some other change in environment in the regular course of the day, and think think think, and then think some more. I am confident you will be pleased with the progress you make. 

I gotta finish my coffee now, and do some more thinking . . ..

10 things I learned on this trip

It has been a very concentrated time of travel and learning and people intense weeks as I have been reconnecting with some partners across the USA. Always being "on" is very very draining, yet I feel more energized and energetic than I have in decades! Yes that is a paradox.

A number of these connections and relationships are great for my soul and encourage me very much. A few of them are very draining and exhausting, yet I am learning new ways to mitigate and negate their effects on me. Every time I make a trip, I feel like I learn more and more. This one was no different on that front.

What I learned this time in the States:

1. There is always someone nearby who is smarter than I am and that I can learn from!

2. There is a hunger in most folks to move forward with their lives and to make progress, and they are highly attracted to people who can help them do that.

3. The more you can uncomplicate the complicated for them, the more they are going to pay attention to what you have to say.

4. You better have something of substance to say!

5. Cherish the moments when you can sit on the patio (and not freeze!) and have a cigar!

6. It is never too late in life to make a new friend.

7. People learn faster when they are laughing.

8. Most people want you to make all the application for them and draw all the lines that connect all the dots. Don't.

9. Don't because it robs them of understanding themselves, and diminishes their personal commitment and follow-through to their own success.

10. Stop (or at least slow down enough) to enjoy the beauty along the journey, both the relational ones and the natural ones. Snow in Vermont, warm and wet in Florida, warm and dry and early Spring in California! Priceless!

Unlit candles

Michael Josephson said, "I’ve learned that unless I translate my thoughts into actions, my great ideas and good intentions are like unlit candles." Manchester wrote about Winston Churchill  that he understood that victory could only be won "by the vigorous exercise of his imagination and the imposition of his will by the only means he knew — action, action this day, action every day."

Too many of our good ideas remain just that - ideas. In our crazy modern world we have elevated the "idea" to accomplishment status. In other words, as if the idea itself was a product of value, or of equal work and effort as the end product that actually brings beauty or value to the world.

I too can fall into such a trap where I feel that the idea or the intention was equal or on par with actions, but that is simply not true. They are only unlit candles. More steps are required before I can have any real sense of satisfaction that I have actually produced something innovative or useful. One of the ways that I restrain this tendency to elevate intentions and ideas to the level of actual essential work, is that I ask myself every day, "What value am I providing my clients?" It is a brutal reminder that what I do - action - is the only measurement that carries weight.

Tenacity

Tenacity. What a word. It is the unsung hero of almost every success story in my whole life. I think this is true for most people that I know across the world as well. Oh there are some talented blokes out there, and great idea people, and high energy dudes, and amazing lasses who can and do lead entire countries (ala Merkel). But these people are the very first ones that will describe for you how consistently tenacity is part and parcel of their everyday lives.

As Michael Josephson said in his recent blog "tenacity is more important to success than talent." And ain't that the truth! Most people have talent, don't get me wrong, I am not suggesting that people don't have some amazing talent. But relatively few can commercialize those talents. Most of us have talents that don't ever even cross over into our vocations. Many of us BECOME talented at our vocations precisely because we are tenacious about learning and working hard at it, and finding joy in the process.

I have always been quite put off by people lauding my TALENTS when in fact nothing more than shear hard effort over long periods of time = tenacity, brought about the seemingly effortless product you observed today. My dad was fond of saying and rightly so, that "the easier a person makes the job look, the higher Master he or she is" in whatever field of expertise you are observing. When people ask me to describe myself, and when I trust them enough to be honest, I am a beaver in life . . . gnawing on that tree until it falls down. Tenacity has been far more important in my successes than talent, what about you?

Getting there

On the final leg home after almost seven weeks on the road. Cannot tell you how good the thought of sleeping in my own bed sounds right now. I have an amazing job and I get to do the most interesting work in the world, but the "traveling" part of traveling is waxing very old. Oh I still really enjoy being with new people in new places and experiencing new food and sights and smells and views, but the getting there is usually tough and sometimes very exhausting.

There is a lesson to be learned here as well because traveling is a great metaphor for leadership and development. The getting there is always challenging and fraught with difficulties and things you just would really rather not have to go through. But the destination is almost always worth it. So how do you in your life mitigate or manage the unpleasantness or difficulties or challenges facing you as you move toward your next destination?

Frustrating speakers

There are so many intangibles to effective communication. Even with good coaching I find most public speakers, especially in the church, amazingly frustrating. The number one mistake they make is no cohesiveness from idea to idea. Oh the transition exists in their minds for sure, or they would not have said what they said, but they fail to bring the hearer along with them and connect the dots so to speak, in a way that their points or point is compelling.  More and more it seems that preachers (especially) and speakers that I hear, draw seemingly random points of "proof" or what I refer to as proof texting within the church, to make their argument. What they do in actuality is leave us listeners sitting there with our minds wandering toward our to-do lists or verging off into dazed daydreaming.

They fail to sharpen their communication skills as a tool of choice. They attempt to use blunt force trauma or the charisma of personality to win our minds and that simply is an impossible venture. To win the mind, and eventually the heart, we communicators need weapons-grade skills and honing of the craft of excellent communication. Isn't the message that you are striving to communicate worthy of that effort and refinement? At the very least, respect the content of the message and me as the audience enough to not waste my time.

I love Berlin!

I love Berlin! It is one of my favorite cities in the world, hands down. I would move here in a heartbeat would my sweet wife agree. Alas, that won't happen in this lifetime. Fortunately for me I get to come here often and work and I completely enjoy each one of these visits.  The ease of getting around the city, the clean air, the excellent food and the structuredness of it all makes for a wonderful experience. 

Of course all of those pluses would be for naught were there not excellent work to be accomplished here as well. In fact one of my clients here was brainstorming ways to work more in Berlin! A conversation I throughly enjoyed. Unfortunately I can't be here more than I currently am and that is that. But the people and work and connections I get to enjoy and engage in are as refreshing as the air coming in overland from the North Sea

Christmas gift giving? Gorging in America

I had the unusual opportunity to observe/be present for another family's gift giving process/event. The sheer volume/amount/number of gifts was amazing. Breathtaking. Mind-numbing. Overwhelming. Beyond the ability to be thankful for in any meaningful way. They had a lot of fun in a gorging overeating sort of way. But the mountain of gifts were quickly opened and everyone had their pile of stuff. And I sit here trying to determine if anyone is any happier for it? 

There is no judgment in my assessment, because my clan is going to do something very similar a week from today when we can finally all get under the same roof (today, the actual 25th of December, finds us in three different states). Not only are we going to do the same thing, but my clan loves it! But last year I refused. I gave no gifts. And I liked THAT much better. I want a house full of laughter and good smells, more than stuff, far more than stuff!

But while we have broken free from the slavery of the 25th of December, we have not broken free of the bondage of excess. My favorite book this year is "Essentialism: the diligent pursuit of less but better." and I need to find a way to help the whole family shift to this way of thinking! But now we are shifting from excess of gifts to an excess of food- it's dinner time! And this may be worse than gorging on gifts.

Spaces

There are some great and unusual working spaces in the course of my everyday life that perhaps others don't get to explore. But I think that almost everyone I meet has some kind of unique possibilities, if they would only give it some keen thought and consideration. Mine is airplanes. Enforced sitting for long periods of time, lends itself to sharp periods of boredom unless I have some "work" to think through and engage mentally and "do". I can play a few games and I can watch a hockey game, but that is about the extent of my capacity for lite weight amusement, and then I find my mind hungry for something meatier to bite into. So my special little space in life is airplanes. I often delay certain kinds of work and projects for upcoming flights, simply because they are perfect for the cramped, can't really get up and move around kinds of time stretches, that air travel generally forces on us. So what space is within your grasp that you could shape or use to dig in deep on some thorny problem, some deep challenge, or get some necessary-but-less-than-sexy work accomplished? I bet you can do this, and make a pointless dead spot turn productive. Pulling for your success.

(I also work and play hard at making this dead spot in life a productive place. I am always testing and trying new tools, hardware and software, to make this more productive and more interesting. For this blog today I was using an iphone 6 plus in landscape, typing on an iwerkz bluetooth keyboard, and on the software/app side of things, I used Drafts.)

I love Christmas!

I love Christmas! Of course I love the fact that it is Advent and that without Christ come in the flesh we have nothing. We are nothing without that monumental event.

But I love just regular old pagan Western Christmas too. I love the way gift giving sharpens our focus and attention on those we care deeply about, actually enhancing that care considerably. I love the highly repetitious annual Christmas songs every store plays. I love the energy with which things are happening. I love the crowds of people and I love the atmosphere and energy.

Most people think I am crazy, but I love Christmas and try to reproduce many of those elements in the teams I work with and the people I lead. In fact Christmas personifies the energy and attitude that I feel most days while working! Now you are certain I am crazy :-). That is ok, I know most people don't like their work, but I do.  I get to work with interesting people and fascinating situations all the time. And if you think I like my work, then you should meet my wife. She would pay them money to get to do her job!

So yes I love Christmas and think every day should be Christmas, and thankfully most days are close.

a 300 pound manual

It's late in the afternoon. My dad is sitting there, with a 300 pound car manual in front of him, meticulously and carefully detailing all the intricacies of gasoline motors. He is looking for minuscule and microscopic information about why his lifters are "rattling" in his newly rebuilt 289 hot rod engine. Reading is a big chore for my dad. The reason is, that when he completed the eighth grade, that was the last year he went to any kind of formal school. He is a slow reader. And it's just like it digging a ditch for him – hard manual labor.

The point being here, is that my 74-year-old father, even though it's not easy or fun, continues to dig in and learn. There is a great lesson therein for all of us. You are neither too old, nor to handicapped, ever, to learn. Even though he only has an eighth-grade education, the reality is he has the mind of an engineer, and always has. You can see it by his creations, a solid dozen of them over the last 25 years, All from scratch, all from nothing-rusty-holes in a bucket of bolts, into beautiful shiny amazing hot rods that are highly desirable and in high demand.

Thus the second lesson to be learned, that you can't really create something beautiful and amazing, unless you're willing to learn, sharpen, retool, reach beyond where you are today. You can't innovate, build, develop something beautiful and desirable and needed and wanted, unless you are willing to dig in deep and always be humble and always be learning.

And even though I have my doctorate (in large part also due to dad), I find myself at almost 53 years of age learning more than I ever learned at any point in my entire life. And even though doctoral students often joke that they know more and more about less and less, (and there is some truth to that), it's a great stage of life to be where I'm at today was such a good model in front of me, urging me on to learn more and more every day.

Cafe-bar change up!

There are many "offices" available in the modern Western world, and some of them can even provide a high energy atmosphere or ambience for work, to help you be more creative, innovative or simply a great change of pace from your normal space.

Space/environment is critical to producing certain types of work. Sometimes I need I NEED quiet and intense focus. For a particular kind of "flow" or "zone" to occur, I usually need this quiet and focus (sans distractions) to get into a great flow or to resolve a particularly thorny problem or to crush a difficult task. Other times, I like the energy and liveliness of a cafe bar to enable my brain to make unusual connections or jumps that don't usually happen in the low distraction of my office setup.

Sometimes simply people-watching is enough to get my creative juices pumping and flowing, imagining their lives and their situations and their dramas. Life is the difficult pieces that are hard and less than ideal, whereas the easy and fun stuff is more like just the icing on a tasty cake for me. The texture and challenge of the tougher parts is what makes life living and enjoyable. Without the challenging we quickly fall into boredom and less than interesting. A problem free life is nothing that anyone ever has, first of all, nor would it be very interesting second of all.

Of course solving problems for myself helps me solve problems that others are facing. The beauty of age is that I have had the opportunity to do my fair share of problem solving. It is called experience and it is almost always negative in some fashion. How we approach it and perceive it determines if the negative rules or is merely a portion of the overall experience. Changing our working space regularly is a good reminder and helper in realizing that one reality is not the only reality. While I don't want to work every night in the cafe-bar, tonight it is a good time to realize that there is a whole big wide world of difference out there, and every problem can be view/resolved from an almost infinite number of ways and possibilities @ Play Cafe Skopje

Virtually yours

Buying a house while traveling to Europe? Well it is aaa serious juggling act I can tell you that for sure. I have done some crazy things in the past. In fact the last house that I purchased, I did sight unseen, actually never laying eyes on the physical place until six months after I had already purchased it. Did it all, every single bit of it, on the advice and recommendation of a friend . . . who also signed all the documents in my name!

Today I am trying the same thing in a different way.  I am placing a bid on a house in one state, while flying through two others, on my way to two other countries, all happening over the internet through a VPN, while never actually physically signing anything. This is just another side to the virtual world I live in all the time and the virtual work I accomplish every week. Most of my meetings and most of my work happens on the web, not in person. Virtually buying a house may just be the logical normal next step for a virtual president and CEO like myself.

Virtually yours, David

Rigor mortis

They have been sucking all the air out of the room for weeks! The challenges of working from my parents home are proving formidable. This was not true in the past, but it certainly is now. End of life scenarios run amuck in their presence. They have planned out their funerals, purchased their burial plots, committed themselves to rigor mortis, or rather a rigorous schedule of eating at precise times, certain foods, certain practices, all the confidence that these rigors will give structure and stability at a point in life that has none of those  certainties. It is difficult to watch, difficult to help, and difficult to bear - and all the while knowing that I am right behind them and wishing for my end to be different. That is what I mean by sucking all the air out of the room.

It is so overwhelming that it leaves no moments to think, to reflect in quiet, it is all too loud and noisy and boisterous even, to have some focus and clarity. It says far too much that I have to get on an airplane and cruise at 39k feet in order to find some thinking time, some reflecting time, some clarity time. 

We are all moving this same direction. Everyone before us has passed through these doors to eternity - our physical bodies coming to a place invariably where they refuse/cannot function any longer. No one is 100% certain of how our bodies and our souls can function without one another, none of us have ever yet had that experience, but it is coming, that is for certain. My brother believes when your physical body closes down, can't go any longer, regardless of the reason, then you simply cease to exist as a person. That is the END of all meaning and END of all existence in any form other than as fertilizer for the earth. 

But that simply is not the experience of the historical Jesus. And as Death's destroyer, He gives us hope and a future, even though I can't tell you or explain to you all the mechanics and physics of HOW it will happen, I simply do not have enough information nor am I smart enough to understand it even if I had it, to satisfy your curiosity (or mine). This historical Jesus is the One where I am placing my trust, in Him who broke the power of Death over us, and yes it can take us temporarily, but not eternally, and no I don't know how or why. Even 30 plus years as a theologian, and I still cannot explain it in a way that will satisfy the vast majority. I trust Him. My brother calls it "feelgoodism" and a "crutch" and a "desperateattempttohavehopewherethereisnone" among other things. I prefer to call it trust. "Trust is the evidence of things hoped for, the confidence of things not seen."

Goodbyes

There are always goodbyes and more goodbyes in our lives. It is simply a life of goodbyes, and I regularly tell newbies this when they are thinking about coming to our neck of the woods, or when they arrive. No sense in painting it as anything else. In a word, it is the highest regular price extracted of International Workers in my opinion.

This last week has been an oasis in life, hanging with the grand baby and two of the three kids, seeing them everyday, participating in their lives, making memories and having fun together. But the goodbye can always hang there in the corner of a cloudless sky if you don't take care to enjoy THIS moment, to enjoy THIS memory, to make this second count. The future is always, and never, there, to be encountered eventually. 

So tomorrow I will crank the bike up, and drive away . . .  as I have done countless times before, or said goodbye at some obscure airport in some hairy armpit of the world, or left them at boarding school, or flew away without them, and say goodbye. Then the countdown will begin until we can see them again. It is a life of goodbyes.

The thing I noticed today was . . .

Today is my first day in America on this particular trip and my son invited me to go with him while he accomplished a bunch errands, shopping and about town. I always love such invitations, and of course I said yes. Plus I needed to recharge my American phone chip to use while I am in the states, so accomplishing multiple things on one trip is always good, right?

So the thing that caught my attention today was that every single store, every single one, challenged/invited/requested us to join their bonus card, their discount card, their brand card, to get all their discounts, bonuses, and well, their stuff at a cheaper price. In fact, and this is gonna sound weird, I hate shopping at my two favorite (I already told you that this was gonna sound weird) grocery stores in the states, because every single price posted, demands that you have their "card" in order to get that posted price.

A much better way to get my commitment to their store, a devotion to their brand, is to simply give me that special price to begin with, without all the extra I-can-now-track-all-your-purchases mechanisms that they force us to do. This enforced process LOWERS my commitment and my devotion to them. Does not in any way enhance my shopping experience, nor has it ever a single time made me want to return and spend my resources in their particular store.

Those who make the shopping experience one that I want to repeat over and over, make it extra simple and straight forward. There is no "if you have our special discount piece of paper" price enticements or processes. If you want to build a long term relationships with me, think about my experience, not your desire to track me in some fashion.

High on earplugs

I have taken to ear plugs in a grand fashion. "Almost everything is noise" Greg McKeown said, and he was right in more ways than he knew. Not only have I taken to wearing ear plugs in such a way that I frequently have them with me ALL DAY, but I have now crossed an ocean (different oceans) 12 times without watching one single show on the entertainment screen in front of me. What did that cost the airline? Something like $10,000 per seat. All wasted on me, because almost everything is noise.

Here is the McKeown quote, "The prevalence of noise: Almost everything is noise, and a very few things are exceptionally valuable. This is the justification for taking time to figure out what is most important." Followed by an equally good one from John Maxwell, “You cannot overestimate the unimportance of practically everything.”

For transparency sake here, let me state that I do download and watch American Ninja Warrior and The Voice, because otherwise I would have nothing about which to talk to my brother and he is addicted to both of these shows and I like them fine too. I also am a huge hockey fan and watch games every week, and thank God regularly that the hockey season is nine months long :-). But that is it. No movies, no drama shows, no game shows, no TV in general, because it is all noise. 

The additional effect of the muting, that comes from the ear plugs, makes for a much quieter world, a world where you can think, a world where you must decide to be responsible for your life, a world where the frenetic noise of entertainment does not allow you a free pass. You have to choose what you do with your life, or someone else will.

Help at 4:22 am

I travel. I travel alot! It is practically a weekly activity for me. Needless to say I have missed my share of flights and connections. It happened again this week, even though I did everything humanly possible to prevent it, including running two kilometers through two airports, asking for help all along the way, trying to enlist every Turkish Airline employee I could, fruitlessly in the end, because I still missed my flight, by less than three minutes.

Fast forward two and half hours, I finally, finally, finally get to the hotel that the airline provided me, and then was informed by the front desk that I would have to be ready to go at 0400 hours back to the airport!! For a 8:00 am departure????  No thank you. I  told them firmly that I would find my own way to the airport. Since I visit Istanbul many times each year, I am well versed in how to get around on my own. I wanted no wake up call, and I would bear all the consequences for getting my own self to the airport.

I got to my room, and unplugged the phone just in case they did not get how serious I was. There was no way on earth I wanted a 0330 wake up call!  I set the alarm for 5:30 and went to sleep. Imagine my rude awakening at 0422 hours when someone was pounding on my door. They would not stop. They continued on and on. I finally got up and yelled, "what do you want?!?!?" The persons on the other side of the door informed me that the bus downstairs was waiting for me and that they frantically needed to leave NOW!  I told them to go on of course, and went back to bed . . . but the damage was done, I could not go back to sleep.

This is not the kind of help I need when traveling, but it is the kind of help that the Turkish culture is required to give. It is help, but not actually helpful. We do the same all the time, telling the truth without regard for how it will be received, talking about people not present in order to "help" the person dealing with them, or any other time that we decide what is best for someone without regard for their wishes. Sure there are exceptions to this rule, but not very many at all. Help at 0422 hours is not really help.

The energy and the power

World class cities have a energy that is very unique. Istanbul is a city of around 12 million jammed crammed people on endless rolling hills, awesome horrible traffic, a million refugees, no parking places, and sea of asphalt and cement. And it hums and it thrums with a powerful energy that comes from all this humanity, all this potential, all these possibilities thrown together in one small landmass. Yet it is relatively safe and unthreatening as world class cities go.

But there is so little chance that someone who lives here will meet a Christ-follower. There is almost no witness. There is practically no opportunity to hear Truth, to meet God on neutral ground, to choose Life everlasting, to read the scriptures, to hear His voice in the roar of the crowds and in the masses of humanity that vibrate with the pursuit of everything else and all other.

What if we rose up and responded with an equal energy, a response of love and compassion and redemption that was rooted in our daily powerful experience with Yahweh, the creator who pulses with power and light and clarity and love? It seems to be hard to find such people of character and competence and compassion, who will live the Kingdom dream rather than the Western dream or their personal ones.

A lovely day!

Its a lovely day to work and enjoy. Yes I used both those words in the same sentence. On purpose. Intentionally. First of all it is simply a lovely day. I am alive, the sun is shining (literally and figuratively), pollution is very low (rare here) since we have this nice breeze blowing, the cafe has their mist/humidifying system going, I have a great meeting taking place, followed by a vid conference with Cambodia/clients, followed by a vid conference to Ukraine, followed by a nice Honduran . . . well you get the picture.

I am alive, and I can choose, and I can decide, and I can change some things in the world. I can make some things better for some folks today. I can change parts of the world today. I can point people toward Eternity filled with God and Hope. It is a lovely day to work and enjoy!

There is that

A hot summer day, quiet and calm. Too much to think about and too much to consider. How to focus in that which produces the most good, that which is most significant and meaningful?

Contrast that with the mall nearby. People walking about dressed to the nines, mostly worried about the fashion statement they are making. And they ARE making fashion statements!

Worrying about what other people think is a powerfully disrupting force. To see and be seen? There is that. Or to create something powerful and moving? There is that!

Avoid this fatal mistake

There is so much fun going on with the English camps we are having in three locations in Macedonia this year. Tons of pics posted on Facebook. The team from York is doing a fantastic job. The volunteers from all three locations are super!

This kind of synergy requires tons of preparation though. It usually only comes about through a deep confidence in the person making the promise, the person who is going to deliver the results, the person bringing all the elements together. That kind of confidence can't be built in a short amount of time.

It takes years of delivering what you promise and more. Our foundational premise for delivering our commitments is “under-promise and over-deliver.” It is a perfect contrast to practically every American that walks through this part of the world. They promise everything and deliver little. 20 years abroad, and we see this fatal mistake happen endlessly. My wife has delivered the goods for decades here = three great camps!

Moments that take a decade to enjoy

Sitting in a building I spent years of my life building, listening to the stampede of kids running up and down the stairwells as they excitedly switch positions from crafts to sports and games. They have already had their first bible lesson, and learned some new songs, and when they finish their current class, they will begin their English lesson.

It is weird to be "sitting" here. I haven't done much sitting here. But I have sweated much, cried some, worked long long weeks and months every summer, while we built this place one step at a time. Watched and loved team after team come through here and work their vacations for free and even pay for the materials we used at each step. Remembering the many mornings that Pastor Sasho and I stood together, in misery because we did not have another single denar (penny) between us and we had no idea where the next one might come from . . . and then later that morning see God supply everything we could possibly use that day.

Experienced tragedy here, a collapsing deep trench, two friends dead, the worst kind of accident, no one really at fault, while all of us feel that we are in some manner. It changed us all. Nothing has been the same since. Some things better (more clarity) some things worse (court case and such). But here the building stands, and it is full of children from the neighborhood, having a grand time, learning about English, Jesus and and themselves. The place is alive and being used. This moment is worth much. The very best kind of chaos in the whole world.

Unimaginable

Seth Godin keeps me honest. I like that about him, because he asks the most difficult questions and I rarely have the answers his questions demand. That is a powerfully good value to provide in anyone's life. Today he asks in his blog, "How do we do something so difficult that others can't imagine doing it?" is a fine question to ask today."

What a great/frustrating question! Instead of the easy, the natural, the apparent, what am I capable of that is difficult, beyond the range and scope of others, so difficult that others can't even imagine doing it? That is a stop and think deeply sort of question. It demands an answer. And if we can't answer it this very day, then it demands that we chew on it and wrestle with it, until we can . . . at the very very least start moving in a direction where we can answer it.

To do less is to be average (in all the wrong ways) and remain with the 95% who fail to capitalize on all that they could and should become with this one precious life that they have been given.

Sinister shopping

There is something sinister about what marketing believes are the values of 50 year olds. Since my brother will be turning 50 this Friday, I started shopping for a gift for him. I am thrilled that he is hitting this landmark epic birthday. It seems to me that this is a celebration worthy of something significant and something weighty and substantial.

But shopping for a gift for a 50 year old is terrifying. When you go to search "birthday gifts for 50 year old men" the results are so asinine that you use words like "terrifying" and I can think of a few other ones as well. Jewelry??  Really? Golf seems to be another big theme. Beer another BIG theme, along with wine and coffee options. Coolers and music and official "stocks" like for Ford or Harley Davidson were in abundance. The one and only gift out of the 100's of suggestions that I could even consider for my brother was a reprint of the New York Times front page of the day of your birth - that was a historical marker of sorts - it seems to have the appropriate weight for such a epic birthday.

The shallowness of the other suggestions was a very telling story about our culture and values . . . not to mention an assessment of the significance (actually the lack of significance!) that turning 50 has in North America. Now perhaps this is just me, or perhaps it is my twisted and warped perspective after living abroad for the last 20 years. But it seems to me that a person should have more substance to life after 50 years, than gourmet caramel popcorn.

What I do

It is difficult to explain what I do for work. That is rooted in the lack of a single concrete definition of the situations clients face. Essentially I am a curator of applied information. It requires the same processes we all need to solve the problems and challenges in this world. Greg Mckeown describes the process like this: getting to the essence (of whatever) takes a deep understanding of the topic (this sometimes means you have to work long and hard to gain this understanding), and it's context (this often requires your physical presence) and it's fit into the bigger picture and how it relates to bigger fields of study or knowledge. This is different client to client and therein lies the difficulty of explaining it in simple concrete terms.

As you apply these practices to the operational or developmental challenges, you (hopefully) can see the patterns and the obstacles that prevent progress or success. This in a nutshell is what I do for my clients day in and day out. It is immensely satisfying to see someone leap the hurdles preventing them from having powerful success!

If you don't prioritize your life, someone else will - Greg Mckeown

There he was, drunk in the middle of the day, whiskey soaked, brain turned to mush, until security came and removed him from the smoking terrace. Until security got here though, he kept trying to light my cigar, and I was afraid that he was going to set my beard on fire! The two Turkish airline pilots that I was sharing a table with, found him to be hysterical. Believe it or not, speaking Russian to problem-makers like this works wonders. No one seems to want to talk to Russian speaking guys with cigars! Of course the trick is to never let on that you ever understand a single word of English - something we have perfected over the years. 

From a leadership/personal development point of view, it was super sad to see a young affluent person (there are no beggars in an airport) to be completely under the influence of alcohol so early in the day. Of course it is sad at a certain level to ever see anyone in the grip of alcohol like that at any time. 

Over-consumption of alcohol and loss of control are synonyms. In the same way a lack of prioritization in your life and loss of control are synonyms. As Greg Mckeown states in his book "Existentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less" if I don't prioritize my life someone else will, they will fill my life with tasks and responsibilities and work and so much to do that my priorities will never come to fruition.

So the task of everyone of us who aspires to reach our goals, objectives, plans, to experience all of the impact we could possibly make on this world, is to take charge of our lives, determine our paths, pursue those objectives relentlessly, be an adult, be responsible for our actions.