Oh what a topic . . . it seems that we owe someone all our lives. If we don’t owe the bank we owe our parents, if we don’t owe our parents we owe our grandparents, if we don’t owe our grandparents we owe our friends, and so on. And this constant burden of debt to someone is so wearying and discouraging. These “i owe yous” are not even about money most of the time, though they certainly can be.
There are emotional debts, mental debts, social debts, relational debts and generational debts. This is a really complex social phenomena that I am not qualified to speak to professionally, only personally. I enjoy some of the debts that I have at this phase of life (with my parents and such, it is a great honor to repay them), and I do not find them a burden at all. But with all the new debts that Heidi is incurring as she starts college (those mostly financial, but not all) frighten me much and that of course is what prompted this blog today. It brought back all those years of paying back loans and emotional debts to people who helped me through college. I don’t envy her as she starts this phase of life.
This got me started thinking, what about relational debt to God? Oh I know all of the theological points about it and all that jazz, but that is not what I am talking about in this post. What I am talking about primarily are the feelings of relational, emotional and social obligation. We all have those feelings toward our parents and/or children, but what about God. Having grown up in the farming country of the deep south, here our religious expression is one of deep obligation toward God. All that unrepayable debt hanging over our heads in this cosmic relationship . . . honestly, it is the primary motivation for service.
And it is a terrible motivation for service. Horrible, awful, and the saddest form of service motivation. It is unsustainable and unhealthy and just bad theology. I have been trying to get my motivational lines for service corrected for many years, because the only legitimate reason for service is the same one that motivates Him -- love. I want to serve Him because I love Him . . . no other motivation carries any substance.
There are emotional debts, mental debts, social debts, relational debts and generational debts. This is a really complex social phenomena that I am not qualified to speak to professionally, only personally. I enjoy some of the debts that I have at this phase of life (with my parents and such, it is a great honor to repay them), and I do not find them a burden at all. But with all the new debts that Heidi is incurring as she starts college (those mostly financial, but not all) frighten me much and that of course is what prompted this blog today. It brought back all those years of paying back loans and emotional debts to people who helped me through college. I don’t envy her as she starts this phase of life.
This got me started thinking, what about relational debt to God? Oh I know all of the theological points about it and all that jazz, but that is not what I am talking about in this post. What I am talking about primarily are the feelings of relational, emotional and social obligation. We all have those feelings toward our parents and/or children, but what about God. Having grown up in the farming country of the deep south, here our religious expression is one of deep obligation toward God. All that unrepayable debt hanging over our heads in this cosmic relationship . . . honestly, it is the primary motivation for service.
And it is a terrible motivation for service. Horrible, awful, and the saddest form of service motivation. It is unsustainable and unhealthy and just bad theology. I have been trying to get my motivational lines for service corrected for many years, because the only legitimate reason for service is the same one that motivates Him -- love. I want to serve Him because I love Him . . . no other motivation carries any substance.
2 comments:
Speaking as someone who has felt the emotional presence of "The Supporters" all her life, Amen & Amen!
Thankfully, my relationship with God is completely open, honest, and does not feel at all obligatory. I'm not sure how that happened but I'm grateful.
Interesting post. I think of the old Degarmo and Key song "...he died for me I'll live for Him..." I wonder if it is possible not to feel some level of obligation? For me it is the realization that I can't pay Christ back that causes me to love Him and to express my love through obedience (most of the time) to Him.
Beth, maybe you are more spiritual then me. I agree with Paul, I constantly am fighting the battle to be open and honest with God.
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