This is the proof of a world gone mad. That a small 9 year old in the seat next to me is flying back to his "dad" in Washington . . . leaving behind his sister, mom and stepdad in Georgia. The tears he was crying as we sat on the runway and at the beginning of the flight would break the hardest heart.
What motives parents to do such thing to their children? How can mom put this boy on this flight and let him go back to where he does not want to be and where she cannot be a part of his everyday life? I guess it's not too much different from missionary life huh? Except we are doing it for the “greater cause” right? Sometimes I wonder if the greater good is not the kids themselves, rather than some grand task of world evangelization.
Having said that, I just got off the phone with my 17 year old college freshman daughter, and she is doing well. She is capable, sophisticated, deep, motivated and hard working. Now if I only were sure that is a result of her being an MK growing up in boarding schools, rather than the results of her mother’s genetic pool, I would feel alot better. Dear Lord may the next two little aderholdts do as well in the transition to the big world out there.
2 comments:
I would not even begin to compare the parenting experiences and motivations of a missionary family to what is out there nowadays in families. Honestly, I thought I'd seen alot, but it is common to see children shipped back and forth cross-country because no one will take the responsibility to care for a child no matter what. That is hardly your situation.
Right now my daughter's friends include a boy without a mother whose father may be dying (what do you even say?), a girl who has lived probably on every street in town because every time the woman has a new "love" interest guess who is sacrificed? Or the boy who switches schools every two years, flying back and forth between two coasts because no one wants him...
It does seem like the world has gone completely mad, but in the madness the oasis of hope is truly those families who love, care and stay together, and you certainly fit that description. A shining moment happened last week for me when I saw a note on our kitchen table written by the girl who has lived all over town, to me, starting, "Dear mom". Wow. I'll take that mission field any day.
These precious little ones who come from unstable family situaitons are indeed a mission field. Bless you, Joannie, for showing love and compassion to a young person who hasn't received it at home.
And I suspect that in many cases where a child is shipped back and forth between two parents, it may not be a case of no one wanting to take responsibility but rather of the responsible parent being forced to share custody with the irresponsible one. One of my friends was abandoned by her husband after a car accident caused her to become partially brain damaged. He got custody of their two daughters. When this woman eventually regained her ability to function and go back to work, a judge insisted on joint custody. She gets the girls during the summer and on weekends, but she has to pay child support to the husband. My friend would give anything for full custody of her girls but our court system will not allow it (but it will force her to pay more than she can afford to in child support).
When one of her daughters became a Christian and was baptized, my friend told her, "I've never been more proud of you." What did the father do? He laughed at his daughter for her decision to follow Christ. Yet he's the one with primary custody.
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