I wish I could capture for you the vibrancy of this moment, the vividness of the purples and pinks and whites of the flowers near me. The utter beauty of this breeze blowing on this balcony, so breezy in fact I had to put a light jacket on, to capture the raw pleasure and peace and ease this moment is for me. I am not leading anything. I am not the charismatic extroverted master pastor that I had been for decades, orchestrating teams of people to lead, sing, teach, all on a tight timetable. It is a quiet, peaceful, God-filled introvert heavenly moment, that honestly I could not have even imagined in the past.
I don't have to be in charge, I don't have to be busy, I don't have to be humorous or quick to reply, I don't have to manage, I don't have to practice nor decide. I simply can be. Could this have happened in my 40's? Maybe. But in my 30's or 20's no way - I had too much to prove to the world . . . and to myself. No longer. To simply be is the rarest sort of gift. A gift that few people receive it seems, if the turbulence of this world is any measure. Contentment in this moment - the best gift of God on His day.
Willingly I will walk (fly) away from this idyllic moment in a few days, to the endless talking and noise and chatter of my dad, and his world, where a moment of silence is a terrible foe never to be unleashed or allowed. But I need to look after my dad, and this is the price of admission. Moments, will have to be gathered while on a motorcycle, or doing some solitary activity that absolutely prevents him from intruding, but that is in a few days. We should not let the impending future cloud the present.
I don't have to be in charge, I don't have to be busy, I don't have to be humorous or quick to reply, I don't have to manage, I don't have to practice nor decide. I simply can be. Could this have happened in my 40's? Maybe. But in my 30's or 20's no way - I had too much to prove to the world . . . and to myself. No longer. To simply be is the rarest sort of gift. A gift that few people receive it seems, if the turbulence of this world is any measure. Contentment in this moment - the best gift of God on His day.
Willingly I will walk (fly) away from this idyllic moment in a few days, to the endless talking and noise and chatter of my dad, and his world, where a moment of silence is a terrible foe never to be unleashed or allowed. But I need to look after my dad, and this is the price of admission. Moments, will have to be gathered while on a motorcycle, or doing some solitary activity that absolutely prevents him from intruding, but that is in a few days. We should not let the impending future cloud the present.
