She hates this song. There is no other way to describe how Heidi feels about playing this song in the worship set on Sunday. It is challenging in a number of ways, but I really want to include Heidi while she is here with us for Christmas break from college. I too get weary of playing each Sunday and the the weekly practice that goes into leading a worship team. Frankly, I am in way way over my head here . . . but what are you to do, when you are the only who plays?
Sometimes my spiritual life feels this way . . . that I am in way over my head and that I have no business what so ever being involved in the ministries that I am leading. As I heard it said once last year by some pastor, "My gifting and skills have carried me much further than my character can sustain me." This is generally a true statement. I can understand that Heidi does not want to play a song that is beyond her skill levels. Unfortunately, I feel that I live beyond my skill level almost every day.
I wonder what God's plans are somedays, when He has us out there on the edge and working way beyond our abilities. I know that many of you may want to spiritualize this and suggest that this is where God wants us to be, in order for His power and glory to shine. But don't you think that incompetence is not something that we should spiritualize? Don't you wish that your pastor would get up and tell the truth . . . that he does not have a real sermon prepared because he has been most unholy and sorely tried this week, and that to preach a message would be hypocritical? Or perhaps not. I know most of the people I work with, prefer not to hear the truth. They rather believe that I am 10 feet tall and bulletproof in a spiritual sense. What a sad day this is . . . when spiritual leaders have no place to turn to and no one to be honest with . . . on the other hand, Sunday's coming and you had better have something ready to go . . . or else.
3 comments:
Thanks for that. I appreciate the truth. I had to tell those in the church a couple of weeks ago that I had to go home on Saturday night and prepare my sermon for the next day after our church christmas party because somehow or another the week got away from me and I had nothing for the next day. This past Sunday I had to switch my sermon to next Sunday's sermon and ditch the one for this past Sunday because the Lord had been leading me all week to preach the one I prepared for Christmas eve morning the Sunday before Christmas eve, but I was trying to do my own thing rather than listen to what God wanted. It actually worked out pretty well once I was obedient to God.
I guess my point is that I am with you on this. We need to admit we are in way over our head most of the time, beg for help from God, and ask people to bear with us. At least that is what I know to be true about myself.
Jerry I am humbled by your honesty. Thanks for posting a comment, D
Phew, Dr. D! What a great post. That quote about gifts and skills exceeding character is humbling and accurate for so many of us. Thanks for constantly challenging us all.
And Jerry - kudos on listening to the Spirit, even when it messes up your schedule. Sunday before last, I was leading worship (way beyond my skill set, BTW) and the Lord was THERE, in a heavy way. It was amazing. And then the song set was over, and it was time for announcements, and I tried to stick to my agenda, and the Spirit just said, "NO. I've got more to do." And because I am so uncomfortable making announcements, I just soldiered on, ignoring God. And after a few announcements, I just couldn't do it any more, so I called a halt to announcements, and called for a time of prayer that wound up being unifying and a great close to the service.
God steps in. And we need to listen, and sometimes to step aside. He's the good shepherd. We're (is there a term for this?) sub-shepherds? subordi-shepherds?
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