peering through the pigs

I could not see the woman who was handling my order request. She was on the other side of the pigs. A whole curtain of piglets were hanging upside down between us. There must have been 20 piglets, and 10 lambs hanging there, freshly dressed and cleaned for public consumption as New Year's approaches. The store was so full of people that you could not move down the aisles. I informed Brenda when Jake and I got home, that I refuse to set foot in that grocery store again, until January 2nd. But the wall of pigs was amazing. You literally could not see or talk to the butchers on the other side of the pig curtain. They had to separate several of the pigs to peer out and get your order. Me? I just wanted some ground beef so that I could grill out some hamburgers! Jake was impressed that when we checked out (finally) we received two gratis bottles of local wines to go with our purchases. One needs to be prepared in this part of the world for New Years, which is arguably the most important holiday there is in Slavic cultures.

Peering through the pigs, (Jake's words to be precise), paints an excellent picture of what celebration looks like in this part of the world. There is something super special about roasting a suckling pig on an open fire. It is considered to be the best all of possible celebration entrees. On the other hand I have never seen so many of them hanging at once.

I think Jesus enjoys our celebrating life, another year, relationships and community. Why wouldn't He . . . He is one who gave us the opportunity to peer through the pigs again. But most of all, I think He wants us to celebrate Him. Happy New years!

making music or history?

We went to the New Year concert of the National Philharmonic Orchestra last night. Johann Strauss never sounded so good. It was glorious! Close your eyes and it was more than easy to feel like you were in some large ballroom in Vienna in 1839. It was very moving. I have listened to classical music most of life (not exclusively of course), but this was the first time I had the opportunity to go to a concert and enjoy the experience live. Wow, what a difference.

I wonder what it would be like to create something that is played, reviewed, read or enjoyed 108 years after I die? Is that making music, or history? I think there is a good lesson here for me. Far far far too much of my daily energy goes toward . . . well, daily momentary temporary activities. Hey you gotta live . . . . But seriously, how do you step back away from the daily grind and see the overriding themes and movements (music remember) of life and our participation in the flow of history, how do you find/get/discover/receive this kind of perspective? I think we all desperately need it.

I am a hacker musician. I lead the worship in our burgeoning church plant here in Skopje. My 12 string guitar is known occasionally for making a beautiful sound, my voice even less so . . . but after last night, I am embarrassed to open the guitar case this morning. Unfortunately, Sunday's coming. So I am more than certain (well as certain as one can be see previous post) that if I make history it will not be with my guitar. It is more likely with my relationships. After the concert 7 of us went out for food and drinks and we sat and talked and sharpened one another until after midnight. I admit that I enjoyed the power and majesty of the concert more than the hard work of listening to people and facilitating them. But if I ever make history, then I need to be able to see that I will never play in the philharmonic orchestra, but . . . its down right weird how much people want to hang out with me. Its probably because they are trying to figure me out because I SO don't fit into any of their boxes, but still that's who I am and I am fairly comfortable in my own skin, long hair, earrings and all.

Now where can I get that perspective I need?

certainty about certainty

Of this one thing we can be certain, that there is too much certainty in our practice of faith. Homosexuality and abortion would be just two of such issues that we are far too certain about. I am not saying that our POV (point of view) is completely invalid. But I am saying that many of the Christians around the world do not agree with our oversimplification of most issues that have such high socio-cultural factors.

For instance, I am currently leading a congregation of Internationals in Eastern Europe. I have discovered that our Western European brothers and sisters do not agree with the standard homophobia of the United States religious right, nor do they view abortion in the tightly black and white frames that the Family in the USA views this subject. Our European Christians view both of these supposedly black and white issues with far more compassion (and ambiguity) than we Americans generally do.

Their compassion does not make them right and Americans wrong, but neither is their moral arrogance (certainty that they are right) remotely on the same scale as the American one. I find it appalling when I meet those who are the most anti-abortional and they can give me no biblical basis for it. I did not say that there was no biblical basis for an anti-abortion stance, but rather that few seem to be able explain it in a cohesive scriptural manner why we should be strongly against abortion. It seems that many of us have just accepted Dobson's position or someone else's position without doing any of the hard thinking ourselves. It seems that we have been influenced by the political religious right much more than we have by what God states about it. The online discussions about these matters are disturbing. Abortion is a far more complex subject than just killing the unborn. If we really think abortion to be wrong, should we not be more for adoption, and let that compassion lead our anti-abortion position? (Imagine actually doing something positive rather than just vilifying everyone who opposes your POV!) Our European Family would say that what we are for is much more important than what we are against.

Concerning the homophobia of the US church, our European Family just states the apparent truth of Scripture, that Jesus both loves them and died for them as well as me. How can I not be as compassionate toward them as any other "sinner", of which I very well may be the worse? I think Jesus would approve of this approach. The certainty that we have about our certainly, makes much of what we believe to be fact, suspect. Religious certainty as with any other certainty needs to be grounded in actual study, not what I am told from the sermon on Sunday nor what I hear on Christian radio (whatever a christian radio is).

I have to admit, that we have blended families, divided families, lost families, live-together families and every other type of family coming to our International fellowship. Some of you might say, "now I understand why that David has gone liberal on us" and some of you might think that the context I am working in has influenced my ability to discern the black and white of God's word. I am not nor has it, but I do think the Europeans are more mature than we Americans are, in that they are wise enough to see the love and compassion of God, and they are willing to model it and express it. I think it was my grandmother who said to me, that you can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar.

It seems that our certainty is tied to our feelings much more than our study and learning. I have feelings too . . . and strong ones frankly. One of those strong feelings is that I am married to an awesome woman . . . but it is rooted in 20 years of learning, not feelings only. Other than this, I am certain that I cannot be too certain about most certainties.

online living

The brave new world, where life is measured in bandwidth and gigabyte limits from your internet provider. We talk to our loved one's via the web and the handiest little program in the world called Skype. We buy Christmas presents, anniversary presents, and birthday presents, all via the web. We communicate through email about a 1000 times for frequently than through snail mail. We are able to "keep up" with American football, via iTunes and our weekly dosage of "NFL Game Day". I even took photos from my iPhotos program, created a photo book on the computer and then uploaded it to Apple, and they (for a fee of course) printed out the photos that I uploaded and placed them in the correct place in the book that I had created and then mailed them to our family just in time for Christmas. All of this happens via the web/internet.

It has changed the very manner in which we live, and I would generally consider most of the previous paragraph, positive things in our lives. We are much closer to family, and more importantly in much tighter contact with them, than before the web became such a part of our lives. I am what is known as an "early adopter" and this often leads me (us, we) to a richer fuller life. We are not interesting in going any other direction than toward more and better technology.

On the other hand, there is a potentially terrible price to pay for this online life. You can actually miss all the relationships that are right next to you. You can substitute talking to real people by maintaining online relationships and life. I don't really know people who do this on a regular basis, but I frequently caution myself in this area. Virtual living could easily become too much the real life, rather than real life being the real life. So I make a serious and honest effort, to close the computer, go outside and take a walk and breath real air, and talk to real people and live a real life. Virtual life is far too dangerous, because it is scriptable, and not nearly volatile enough to stretch and grow me as a person.

Soooooo . . . I'll see you later, it's time to take a walk outside.

lousy preaching - lazy preachers

My grandfather is convinced that I only work one day per week and that only for 30 minutes. In his estimation I have the easiest job in the entire world. Little does he know. Luke 2 . . . the great debate! It confuses the date of Jesus' birth! This text was the basis for Sunday's message. There was probably at least 10 hours lost on the problems that the Quirinius debate creates from this passage. Long problem short is that Quirinius did not become the "governor of Syria" until the year 6 AD. This significantly delays the dates of Jesus' birth and creates other problems as well. Its a real dilemma in the text.

Thankfully there seems to be a resurgence today of exegetical preaching in churches. Exegesis is basically understanding the text on the basis of the text itself. It often follows a verse by verse format and lets the text say what it says. This is a great way to release God's Word and let it be God's world . . . but it requires a large time frame and a concentrated study approach. Grandpa is wrong if he thinks a preacher only works 30 minutes per week . . . at least if we are talking about exegetical preaching. That is as hard of work as you can find anywhere. If you don't believe me, just try to solve the riddles of the dilemma presented above in relationship to Quirinius and the birth of Christ from the Gospel of Luke.

Eisegesis is the more common pattern of preaching where your own subjective understanding is read into a text, rather than searching for the objective meaning of the text. This is the kind of preaching I grew up with and results can be downright strange. I still remember churches that buried their communion elements after the service in order that no one take the elements "unworthily". Or pastors that got up and condemned women for speaking in church, or a hundred other such weirdism that come from not studying . . . although they had often memorized the passages, they could not understand the underlying intentions and meanings and plays on words that come alive for Greek and Hebrew students.

On the other hand, it seems that scholarly pursuits seem to wring passion out of the preacher until most of them have understanding of the text, but no longer understanding of the people they are trying to communicate that text TO! Herein lies the goal of most successful communicators today, to find the right balance between those two perspectives. Yet 25 years of doing this has convinced me that the listener is far more critical to the success of the preacher than the preacher himself or herself. If the listener is prepared to listen and learn and hear from God, then even a less than perfect product of communication still accomplishes much.

I think grandpa is wrong for the most part. There isn't much lousy preaching out there, and even fewer lazy preachers . . . it is simply too much work . . . the weak of heart give up soon. Maybe I will invite grandpa to speak for me next week in church.

The first noel?

She hates this song. There is no other way to describe how Heidi feels about playing this song in the worship set on Sunday. It is challenging in a number of ways, but I really want to include Heidi while she is here with us for Christmas break from college. I too get weary of playing each Sunday and the the weekly practice that goes into leading a worship team. Frankly, I am in way way over my head here . . . but what are you to do, when you are the only who plays?

Sometimes my spiritual life feels this way . . . that I am in way over my head and that I have no business what so ever being involved in the ministries that I am leading. As I heard it said once last year by some pastor, "My gifting and skills have carried me much further than my character can sustain me." This is generally a true statement. I can understand that Heidi does not want to play a song that is beyond her skill levels. Unfortunately, I feel that I live beyond my skill level almost every day.

I wonder what God's plans are somedays, when He has us out there on the edge and working way beyond our abilities. I know that many of you may want to spiritualize this and suggest that this is where God wants us to be, in order for His power and glory to shine. But don't you think that incompetence is not something that we should spiritualize? Don't you wish that your pastor would get up and tell the truth . . . that he does not have a real sermon prepared because he has been most unholy and sorely tried this week, and that to preach a message would be hypocritical? Or perhaps not. I know most of the people I work with, prefer not to hear the truth. They rather believe that I am 10 feet tall and bulletproof in a spiritual sense. What a sad day this is . . . when spiritual leaders have no place to turn to and no one to be honest with . . . on the other hand, Sunday's coming and you had better have something ready to go . . . or else.

The chaos of teenagers

The quiet orderly life pursued by many Christians is not obtainable by people who have teenagers. Peace of that nature when you have three teenagers is as elusive as a suntan in a snow storm. It just isn't going to happen. But let's be honest here, peace and quiet are way overrated. That is the stuff for mortuaries and funerals. If you want to live then embrace the chaos!

In case you can't tell, my kids are home for the Christmas holidays and I am in heaven (or as close as one gets while here on earth). I work in a funeral parlor. My office I mean is like a funeral parlor when the kids aren't home. Brenda is great fun and she makes me laugh, but we are so busy going opposite directions 3/4's of the time, that we don't see each other that much throughout the day. But when the kids are home, I can't get a single thing done and I love it.

And it's even better now that they are old enough to go with me and hang, while I am working with people or stuff. It is wonderful to have them along, and to go along with them as they do stuff. I did that tonight and I met some lovely people that I had been trying to find for a long time. I can't get a single thing done and it's wonderful, and being together is just simply the best.

the midwives are coming - part 2 dva

It was a wild party. What do you expect with 30 midwives here? The house smells like a pack of Lucky Strikes this morning. Even though it is cold out, we opened the doors and windows and aired it out. But with 15 people smoking non-stop for 2 plus hours . . . it's going to take longer this time than usual to air out. Shoot by the time we get the smell out of the house, we will have another group here and it will begin again. Anyhoo here in this photo you can get a sense of how crowded our house was last night . . .















But that is what relationships look like when you are dealing with non-praying people . . . it took a long time for us to determine that we wanted nothing to stand in the way of relationships at a human level. What that means in the end is that none of my life preferences (smoking, drinking, dress, language, sexual orientation, etc, etc) can ever take priority over relationship.

. . . . and you can see from these two photos how much fun they were having playing games and laughing together . . .















It was clear and obvious how much these ladies love Brenda and so when it came time for the most important moment of the night, the midwives were listening so carefully to her testimony. It was the only five minutes of the entire evening when it was quiet. The rest of the night was total bedlam in typical Macedonian fashion. Here is a photo of Brenda giving her personal story of God.


















I hope that you will join in with us praying for these girls . . . who are such lovely people, but so far from the Savior.

here come the midwives

I am still trying to figure out why a man would become a midwife, but we know two! They along with who knows how many other midwives are coming to our house in about 2 hours. This evening may prove to be a little frightening. Brenda teaches evangelistic English classes at several local hospitals, but only to midwives. The other nurses get a little bent about it, but these folks work hard at learning English, and we are thrilled that they are reading from the Gospel of Luke in order to do it.

CAMA services started working with the nurses here in Macedonia 7 years ago, and the relationship just keeps getting warmer and warmer. Some of them have actually come into the Family and our sincerest prayer is that far more do. Brenda is in high demand as a native English speaker who teaches English, and there are other hospitals asking (demanding!) for her to come. Unfortunately, she is already beyond her maximum load work-wise and simply has no more possible hours left to teach. Anyone want to come work with us? We will put you to the grind immediately :-)

This evening may be a little frightening because I don't think we have ever had so many women in our house at one time before. As time wears on here in Macedonia, more and more I am becoming known as "Brenda's Husband". Most people don't think I have a name any longer, . . . just call me "Brenda's Husband." My wife may be the most well known foreigner in the whole country. She teaches everywhere, and people don't care who I am until they realize that I have some connection to their beloved teacher! That's what I get for living on the road. Tonight my primary responsibilities are to smile, serve coffee (or whatever other poison they want), keep the ash trays empty, and take photos. Maybe I will post one or two tomorrow. I still don't know what language we will be speaking with folks yet, because I have not met any of these midwives . . . but I can't wait to meet the two fellows . . . I am flabbergasted by a man who chooses to work in a uniquely female profession, and along side of only women. When do they ever have manly conversations? Haven't these fellows ever heard of Tarzan or Conan?

those who have bills to pay and those who don't

It was a typical Monday morning for me, grab some money, head to the exchange office and get those Euros changed into Denars, and then off to the post office where you pay all your bills in one place. Like I said it was a typical Monday morning and the typical crowd was sitting at the entrance to the post office . . . sitting mostly on cardboard boxes. I have always wondered why they beg for money in front of the Post Office?

At times I can be really slow and not very bright . . . and while I was counting my change after paying my bills, it finally occurred to me why they sit in front of the Post Office. Its because those who have bills to pay, are people who have money. The ones begging are so poor, they have no bills to pay. "Not possible David!" you might say, but yet it is. They have no mortgage because they do not own the property where they have constructed their little house . . . they are squatters. They pay no water bill because they have no running water in their house . . . they steal it from someone else's house, or they get water from the river. They have no sewage bill, because they have no toilet in the house. They all use outhouses . . . if anything at all. They have no electricity bills because they are stealing the electricity from someone else nearby, or simply do without. Renegade usage of electricity is a huge challenge here. They have no heating bill, because they burn scraps, or once again do without. And finally they have no garbage pick-up charges, because they themselves pick through the garbage every day, week after week. Trust me, it is perfectly possible to live and have no bills, because you have no resources, and you do not have the basic necessities of life.

It has been said that America's poor are far better off than the poor elsewhere . . . and that may be more true than we realize. At least our poor have bills to pay. As I left the post office, who would have ever thought that I would be glad, really glad for all those expensive bills?

a bad moon rising

Sitting here in Croatia surrounded by mine fields; I was looking out my guest room window here on the Evangelical Theological Seminary campus, and the big fat moon is coming up over the Drava River. So no this is not a blog about Creedence Clearwater Revival's famous song from 1969, nor is it about the Fighting Fantasy Gamebook by Davy Stedham nor is it a blog about the rioting in France last year and this famous cartoon that was printed about it.

No instead it is about empowerment. As I am sitting here contemplating this moon and trying to see it's secrets, I am also in the middle of deciding to fail several students or not. These particular students have a history of doing the bare minimum and cutting the maximum number of classes, and pushing the limits to the edge, class after class. In fact I had two of them last year and it was the same story. So evidently no one, including me I must admit, has been enforcing the attendance and requirement policies of the Seminary. We are in fact, empowering these students to continue to be lazy and do marginal work.

On the other hand, they are some of the brightest and gentlest folks in the class. What a dilemma! I want to encourage their intellect and wonderful hearts, but the demands of life also require a measure of discipline in order to excel. One side of me says, "let the policies do what they were designed to do" and in general I agree with them. But what if the policies are incapable of accomplishing their intended goals, and in fact accomplish the opposite in certain students?

I was a marginal student at one point . . . not so much in college and later, but certainly in high school. In fact I was below average academically because of extreme laziness. Finally I found/got/was given some internal motivation and the rest is history. So I feel that a bad moon is rising, because I think I will have to let the consequences fall on them this time. I will let them appeal to the Academic Dean if they feel wronged. Did justice override mercy?

a crash of values

One of my Croatian students misspoke in his paper, and said "a crash of values" rather than a "clash" of values. But I think he was right even though he was wrong. Here we are having a "crash" of values. It is jarring and discombobulating and senseless and meaningless at first glance. Here there is no underpinning, no matter how weak, of anything remotely resembling a Judeo-christian value system. This is simply post-communist post-modern chaos.

From where I am sitting, the clash of values elsewhere in the world seems mild in comparison to the crash of values here. And then if you throw in the bible college mentality here on top of the post-communist post-modern its a train wreck! I sat in a faculty meeting yesterday . . . or rather I should say I was dragged to a faculty meeting yesterday (the Seminary here is trying to the woo the CMA to establish a school of Missions and Evangelism, and for some confused reason they thought that me attending the faculty meeting would convince me) . . . and I was horrified. Instead of resolving post-modern post-communist student challenges of the 2006-2007 school year, most of the meeting reminded me of where I did my undergraduate work many many many years ago. I kept expecting Beaver Cleaver to jump out of the closet. It was a 1940-1950's bible college lets make lots of rules atmosphere that in my estimation was a total fantasy/nightmare (depending on your point of view) for today's world.

It got me to thinking about change and culture and influence. All of these older folks on the faculty clearly thought the past was a place we should return to; a desirable place that had value for today. Then I started wondering why I so completely absolutely don't agree with them? Because I am actually pretty conservative deep down inside (somewhere). This created quite a bit of discomfort for me personally, because the older faculty wanting to go backwards were not but a few years older than me. So what is wrong with me? Why am I on such a different wavelength than many of my peers?

Then this morning I discovered the reason I am such a different wavelength than my peers. I don't think there is anything wrong with the current crop of students! I love this generation! When they are on fire for God, they rock! This morning clarified all of that . . . when I was headed to my classroom and one of the students came tearing up the stairs yelling for me to come, a student was terribly sick and they needed me right away. So I ran and we got her out of the bathroom and onto a bed . . . she had been throwing up blood and other things, and everything was a mess . . . and I haven't driven an ambulance in almost 20 years . . . and thankfully soon the local ambulance guys and gals arrived and took the student away to the hospital. And now I can tell you why I am not like my peers . . . because these guys prayed in my class for this student and prayed . . . we stopped no less than four other times in class to pray for this student . . . we cancelled another class, just so that we could pray for this student for the whole hour!! Thats why I have so much hope in this generation . . . they aren't much for rules, but man they are serious about relationships. I love it. Makes me feel like I am 22 all over again :-)

the Fayrene Principle

There are certain principles in life that beat logic to death with an ugly stick. Not too much is logical in Christianity . . . we are overwhelmingly full of paradoxes. We are strong when weak, we must die to live, we surrender to be victorious, we must serve to lead, we become poor to actually be rich, the greatest is the least and the least becomes the greatest, the first is last and the last is first and on and on we could go.

The Fayrene Principle is water dripping on stone . . . the stone always loses. It's not logical, but it is true. The steady dripping sum of water plus time will win over any stone. So I am trying to do this in leadership at multiple levels within our organization. I have in fact a doctorate in leadership, yet I "officially" lead nothing. I find that my influence and effectiveness has blossomed in leading without position or title. There isn't any apparent logic for it, but I can testified to the fact that it is working. It is most like the Fayrene Principle . . . and I think that this has great implications in mentoring, discipleship and evangelism . . . that the steady drip of love and care, plus time, can wear away the hardest stone. I wonder if this drip method can work higher up within the CMA?

second hand smoke - the gift of God

Yes, I am aware that North American's in general, and Christians especially hate smokers. That's too bad, Jesus really loves them. The anti-smoking campaigns of the West haven't had any impact here. Christians are just about the only people that don't smoke here . . . and to be honest, many Christians here smoke too. It is interesting for me to watch how we so easily spiritualize that which we don't like. I have had many Western visitors to my home over the years . . . and it is almost comical to see their faces when they realize that we allow people to smoke in our home . . . which really isn't our home right? It seems that Christians from many parts of the West, not only think that smokers are sinners, but we that allow people to smoke in our homes are sinners too.

I am starting to realize that many things I allow in my home, you might find very offensive, but I will save those for another blog-day. Today smoking is the gig . . . and for a very special reason which I will get to in a moment. To be honest, I love the smell of second-hand smoke. I am pretty sure that Jesus does too. Now as an ex-smoker I must be in the .001 percentile because I can handle second-hand smoke, and it does not make me want to smoke. Nor does it even bother me most of the time. Sure sometimes it gets super-old and my contacts are screaming grit between the eyes and all that jazz, but for the most part, I enjoy second-hand smoke.

In fact, when in North America, I generally go through second-hand smoke withdrawal, because I can't find anyone who smokes any more! It doesn't even help to go to bars anymore, because you can't smoke in there either!! Shesh! What is this world coming to?? Tell me! Now I will be honest that while I don't mind the smell of second -hand smoke in the air, I don't usually appreciate it hanging on my clothes for hours afterwards. OK, I am inconsistent, bite me. I still don't let that dislike keep me from hangin' with the smokers.

Brenda and I go places all the time where invariably we come out smelling like a pack of Winston Lights. That is where the people Jesus died for are . . . that's where we (all of us) are called to be, to go . . . but I have even heard missionaries say that "no one will ever be allowed to smoke in my house . . .." blah blah blah. It's got to be breaking Jesus' heart. My health is more important than the lost . . . hhhmmmm . . . the worst that happens to me at death is I get to go to heaven in a new body . . . you are right, that is horrible, can't have that, OK, no smoking around me, I want to live forever!!!! Somehow we seemed to have become confused about our role, calling, purpose, and destination here.

And what begs me to write this certainly-not-to-be-well-received-blog today? Well a miracle happened today. One of my students, Kosta, asked me out for a coffee after class. He wanted to talk to me about the subject of prayer that we had been discussing last week, and he was still puzzling over some of the issues. So we went out for a coffee, at the corner cafe-bar. There were 37 people in the cafe-bar counting Kosta and me, and 35 were smoking, including the waitress taking our coffee orders. Kosta and I spent about an hour in there . . . smoke so thick it was a cloud around us . . . taking about the dynamic process of prayer. We drank our coffees and paid our bill, got our gear and headed out of the cafe-bar. The miraculous event was that when we got outside and were walking down the street back to the Seminary, I realized that we did not even have the smell of smoke on our clothes! I know, its impossible. But tell that to those fellows in Daniel 3:27.