Freedom?

Date: October 19, 2006 3:22 PM
Topic: Freedom?

I heard this story today. Cindy was a dutiful daughter until the
time her mother died. But then her dad married Cindy’s husband
aunt! Mindy was very close to her dad, and the new mother/aunt was
very threatened by Cindy’s relationship with her father, and began to
undermine their relationship to strengthen her own. In fact the new
mother/aunt finally stated to Cindy, “Hey I have the keys to all your
relationships, and if you don’t give me what I want when I want, I
will take all these relationships away from you.”

Cindy understood that forgiveness was her correct and only response.
So she forgave the offenses, she followed the biblical mandate. But
then new wounds were inflicted over and over, and the forgiveness
happened over and over. This process went on for 15 years! Cindy
learned to become very specific and detailed in her forgiveness. Too
often we are just too general in our forgiveness. OR we just decide
that we will not let it bother us . . . which of course it still
does. But healing in Cindy’s heart could not start, because real
forgiveness was not taking place.

Cindy had experienced God’s forgiveness, so she understood
forgiveness because she had experienced it. But one night Cindy came
to understand that freedom was not coming and she finally decided
that what bothered her the most was that she was trying to please
mother/aunt and of course that never happened. So what bothered her
the most was that her reputation was being destroyed by mother/aunt.
So when Cindy repented of her pride . . . she finally found freedom.
God in fact gave her a love for mother/aunt. But peace finally came
to Cindy, and in that was real true freedom.

To David (me) it seems that true forgiveness cannot occur when only
the offenses are focused upon. It appears that we have to discover
the real underlying hook that keeps us tied to these situations.
Until we deal with the inside stuff on our part, never will the
offenses lose their sting and power. Unforgiveness robs us of
freedom and peace.

I need freedom to love wisely, and I need freedom to release freely.
But without looking inside of me, David will never really forgive,
because I keep holding to how I have been affected. I hope that it
does not take me 15 years like it did Cindy . . . but it might, just
because I am so slow in maturing and growing up. I need to keep
these principles close by, because I am still offendable and thin-
skinned some days. You never outgrow the need to forgive.