Too much of a good thing?

There is a consistent stream of thought in the leadership world, that those who work the smartest are those who take excellent care of themselves so that they can perform at optimum levels for the maximum long haul. That doesn't necessarily mean working more, but it definitely means working better.

These last three days in Malta have been the best days ever. Except for sleep, I gorged on everything - friendships, conversations, working out, meetings, prayer, food and drink, cigars and thinking. The old me would have felt totally guilty for indulging in all these things, the new me understands that this is actually and practically, top of the line, world class PTA - Protecting The Asset - and I am the Asset.

Is there too much of a good thing? I don't know, and honestly am not sure if that is the right question. Perhaps the question is "is there enough of the good things in order to do a proper smash-up job of self-care in a caustic and demanding world?" So yeah, I crammed a bunch of them in over the last 48 hours or so, but seeing how I am feeling energetic, powerful, creative, in the zone, grateful, empowered, hopeful, thankful, and spiritually strong, I would say that there is no such thing as too much of a good thing.

The terrible beauty of it all

Sometimes the most difficult things, the most demanding things, are the best, and cost the most

“Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty … I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life. I have envied a great many people who led difficult lives and led them well.” ~ Theodore Roosevelt

This quote is so potent in the modern world. Roosevelt wrote it a 100 years ago, but it means so much more in an instant gratification world, a world that largely expects so much for so little, and finds itself angry at the slightest obstacle or impediment to that instant gratification. I don't want to be this way.

The average American (over the age of 12) watches over 1700 HOURS of television annually, which is roughly 30% of all their waking hours. The weekends are the real killers for logging those hours. (Got this from Darren Hardy's book "The Compound Effect). Imagine all the lost possibilities in those TV hours! I don't want to be this way.

The most difficult things are saying no to almost everything, so that you can say yes to the few awesome things, and even that requires you to get up at 2:30 AM after changing six times zones just 30 hours before, and catch another flight out. But the rewards are priceless. It would be all too easy to watch TV and be a couch potato, but the better choice is clear . . . and difficult.

So as I watched the sun rise this morning from 38000 feet in the air, after having been up and awake for three hours already, the terrible beauty of having that difficult opportunity is very humbling, but world-changers choose this life over the easy path. I want to be this way.

Shaping how we understand our lives

The more time I spend with my dad in his later years, and hear newly polished stories of his youth and life past, and at the same time endless stories of suspicion and fear about the present, and finally obsession with ever ache and pain and sick friend enemy and relative no matter how far away, the more I am convinced that the stories we tell ourselves. shaped our understanding of how we perceive our lives. My dad is not alone, he is only an example of all of us, as we all tell ourselves stories about the intentions of others, the importance or unimportance of every event, the meaning of all the foci of our lives. This inner chatter may be the single most critical changeable factor in our daily lives.

Or as Leo Babauta stated, "At the end of the day, the questions we ask ourselves determine the type go people we will become." Questions questions questions - the foundations of the stories we tell ourselves. What kind of father will I be or have I been? What type of husband will I be or have I been? If my marriage is less than I desire or expect, what responsibility and actions will I take to make it strong better and richer? Or will I simply lay blame around like poison on the tip of an arrow? How will I make the world a better place? What value will I provide for my circles of relationships or clients? What character will I bring to the challenges of life that I have no control over? Will I be a giver or a taker? And this can, and does, go on until the end of our days.

Now the tricky part is to ask ourselves these questions, not just feel (i.e. react) our way through life. I don't know about you, but my base reactions are far less than I desire when I step back and use some brain power and forecasting in the process of life. I want my inner chatter to come to the place where it reflects the life I chose to live, rather than the feelings of the moment. I want to shape my life, not only have it shape me. I choose to bring my best self into play each and every day.

Directions

Directions

Normally folks ask directions of people who look like they belong right? Well today is the weird anomaly in the sense that three people have asked me for directions today and no one in their right mind would ever mistake me for a local. Hair too long, beard too wild, clothes too young, skin too white, etc etc. Maybe it was the bottle of whiskey I was carrying? Maybe it was the jacket I was wearing? Maybe it was the way I was walking and carrying myself? Who knows . . . 

After some thought, it was mostly just a matter of convenience I bet, in the sense that I was the handiest person to ask? The best part was that I actually knew all three places I was being asked to give directions toward . . . that felt powerful and wonderful. When you can deliver what people need and seek, it gives a great feeling of accomplishment and significance.

It was like after church today, when a Dutch guy came up to me and told me that this was the best worship service he had heard in two years! Followed by another worshipper who communicated how awesome today was for him and how much he enjoyed hearing me play the guitar. Made all the work and effort all the more wonderful and worth it. There is simply nothing as good as knowing where the goal is located and delivering it well. Directions - leadership 101.

There will come a day . . .

There will come a day . . . 

"There will come a day when you would give everything you have left to have what you have right now." As I am coming through one of the most surprisingly difficult weeks of my life, a time of recent family death anniversaries, I was wonderfully blessed that this article resonanted deeply in me today. The bottom line is this, as difficult as today is with all these deep feelings of grief and other things, that I will still soon find myself in a time, where I would give everything to have what I have right now. Of course this is not about material things for me, but rather my work, my life, . . . what I HAVE rather than what I DON'T have. Its about the life I can live today, not the losses that we have experienced these last few years. It is about being grateful and appreciative, rather than consumed with what is gone. Because for the vast majority of people and their experiences toward the end of life, the losses will mount and mount ever higher, and so what I have TODAY may well be the best I can ever look back on.

One year ago today . . .

One year ago today

Today is the one year anniversary of the worse day in my life, when I got a call from my niece telling me that my brother was dead. It has been a really difficult year, and frankly it is unbelievable that a full year has come and gone. And it is funny-sad-weird how angry I am, yet dying is a normal part of living right? What is there to be angry about? All the couch psychologists out there are thinking that this is simply one of the normal cycles and seasons of grieving and they would be right and they would be wrong.

My brother was not a simple person. Life could never measure up to his ideals, and so crushed by the harsh realities, he instead lived life of self medication, on the edge of depression and anger for decades. With the decades of self medication came a host a medical ills and pains and chronic conditions that self-medicating only made worse and worse. I am glad that I spent some good quality time with him in his last years. I am thankful that my wife gave me the freedom to do so.

The most horrible and difficult thing I ever had to do in my life was call my parents one year ago today, and watch them melt before my eyes as I told them their youngest son was gone forever. There is simply a big black hole in the fabric of life that was once him, for all of us. There is no getting it back, there is no fixing it, there are no answers for a life now gone.

As I sit here on the same balcony, where I received the news that he was gone, I can't help but think that he had lots of living left to accomplish, he is missing so many wonderful things in his girls lives, in his granddaughters lives, in my life, in my parents lives. 51 years is not nearly enough to finish this thing we call life. And now the lives of all of us are changed for forever, because he is not here to share it with us.

The Monday blues?

The Monday blues?

There are so many things that we associate with Mondays. One of my favorite songs as a teenager was "Just Another Manic Monday" by the Bangles. Just another Monday-bashing song actually, but sometimes Monday's can be magical and fun and productive. Especially if you take the weekend for what it was meant to be used for, to disconnect, unwind, rest, restore, a digital dotoxification, and no email. Then Monday feels like a great opportunity to jump in and get some important stuff accomplished rather than the continuation of an ongoing grind that you may not enjoy.

And the finish is so important. Me? I did it with a nice dinner on the balcony on this lovely Spring day with my wife, having a conversation about the beautiful sunset and the nice ambience and the perfect temperatures. Snow-capped mountains visible in the distant horizon, good food, and a nice cold dark beer.

Sure there are lots of things to be concerned about and to yet accomplish this week, but we are off to a great start. And yet . . . this week marks the one year anniversary of my brother's passing . . . and that weighs heavy on all of us. We miss him as if it happened yesterday rather than a whole year past. But there is so much living left to be doing, we can't let what we can't change destroy the possibilities of the present and our effects on today and tomorrows.

The best gifts

The slow concentrated present . . . was a great gift

As I said in the previous blog I surround myself with A level people. They never let me rest! They offer so much to me that I would never be able to see on my own. This particular gift of a person, reminded me that the masses are being trained to have "continuous partial attention" and also reminded me of what a disaster that is for our world. Attention is the rarest element in the social universe! Focus is the most difficult skill to foster in the modern world!

Yet if you want to be a change-the-world person, you must give the MIT (most important thing) your deepest attention, your most intense focus, the very best version of yourself! I have found that surrounding yourself with A level people who will never let you rest, who will never settle for less than spectacular, who want you to be the person they hope you are, is the very best way to move in that direction. 

Is it easy? Oh no! Is it comfortable? Are you sh**ting me? But is it incredible? You bet! Yet you can't get there without A level people who demand and expect more of you. People who will send you material that will rock you, who expect you to live it!

Science is not what you thought it was . . .

In my previous blog I mentioned that I very deliberately surround myself with A level people. In this blog today and in the next one I hope to show what I gain from doing so.

One of the A level people I surround myself with, focused me in a brilliant manner last week. He pointed me to a Godin blog (which I had already read) but his take on it blew me away. The blog he redirected my attention toward can be found here, Seth explaining what Science is an and what it isn't . . . as only Seth can do folks. 

As I said, I read Seth's blog each and every day, right after I read the Scriptures, and just as religiously. But it did not resonate with me. I did not save it to Evernote nor did I tag any clients with this bit of wisdom.

But then this A level person texts me while he is on a trip somewhere out there, and he is having his own daily PTA time (Protect The Asset time - read Essentialism by McKeown if you are foolishly ignorant of this critical idea) and he helped me see that what I do each day in The Leadership Development Group is precisely this "Science" it its truest and most real form. A lesser person would have glossed over the article . . . like I did. There are very very good reasons to surround yourself with A level people.

Much better than me?

The leadership adage goes that A people hire B people and B people hire C people and so on and so forth. Pretty soon that leads to certain disappointment and then we find ourselves wondering what happen? How did the ship lose its rudder? How did we fail to achieve all that we are dreaming about? Why is our organization less than we had hoped it would be?

When we lived in Canada many many years ago, we attended a church that was really incredible. Yet the lead pastor was an underwhelming small-minded, uninspiring, less than ideal pastor and leader in almost every respect - except one. He hired A level people. He surrounded himself with people that were better in every way than himself.  He truly sought out and retained the best in the business! That takes either brilliance or an amazing level of self-confidence. I still haven't figured out which one of those Wayne possessed, but I learned an important lesson and it is one I have honed all my life and I continue to sharpen and employ across the board.

I surround myself with the best people. I systematically eliminate whiners and low-potential people from my work and from my social networks. It sounds cold to some of you. It sounds exciting to some of you. Hahaha! The reality is that it is incredibly challenging and overwhelmingly difficult to intentionally choose to be the slowest person in the room. Read that sentence again, because it is truly true. It demands a humility that runs so deep, a self-awareness that is brutally painful and teachable at the same time. A refusal to think for a moment that I am on the same level as these folks. Most folks I meet and know, could not stand the heat in this particular kitchen, and so they don't. Instead they surround themselves with less. Less than they are so that they can shine. Less than they are so that they can be in the spotlight. Less than they are in order to have power and control and so many other things.

But they lose in that process. They lose the opportunity to learn. They lose the opportunity to improve. They lose the chance to grow. They lose chance to impact the next generation of leaders. And most of all, they lose the certainty of becoming much more than they are today.

The slow concentrated present

The slow concentrated present

I had a good friend send me a link today of a great Cal Newport blog about several things that he personally does to improve his deep thinking/deep work ability. He listens to baseball games on the radio - a task that has none of the glamor and BSO (bright shiny objects) that easily distract us and keep our fleeting attention engaged. Listening to a live game requires a unique concentration . . . and yes there are commercial breaks and Mr Newport fills those empty times in with a book.

Since I am no baseball fan, I had to work a bit to find some parallels that I could apply in my life to train myself to listen better, focus longer and train my brain to do something deeper and more significant than Twitter or Facebook.

So at last I settled on a whip-lash speed story audiobook series that forces me to listen carefully or I have to rewind to find the thread where my concentration broke and I lost the storyline or missed some details. So far I have found that . . . that I have to rewind frequently! And I do this while riding my bicycle trainer or outside bike up the mountain near my apartment. It makes the exercise go quickly, while entertaining me too. Hopefully I am making progress in deeper focus and concentration!

Accepting responsibility . . . the key to self-respect?

It is impossibly difficult to get your work done some days, it is so challenging and there are outside forces combining to defeat you at every single turn, to destroy your every effort to fulfill your responsibilities. Focus is fractured. The action never happens. The intensity of the urgency of the immediate consumes all ambition to do the important and change the world for the better. The costs of ignoring the loudest closest clanging blood-relative is so high, as to prohibitively decimate every wish hope and plan to do the amazing. The collaboration of each innocent piece and person clammoring for our limited and ever-so-important attention, overwhelms and drowns our best intentions. Even as I scramble to get all things done, and get out of the hotel within the time frames required, get back on the road, accomplish the next task and event, there are ever higher tasks and events screaming for their accomplishment too. 

But.

But I can make difficult choices. I can make a different set of decisions. I can respond in various ways to this conversation. We can accept responsibility for our own lives, rather than blaming the fiery intensity of too many choices and and options. We can change the world, if we are willing to choose to do so, and pay the prices of those decisions.

"Character — the willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life — is the source from which self-respect springs.” - Joan Didion

Traveling with the worlds smallest computer

I am on a four day business trip. I make a trip like this several times each month. Travel is the middle name in my life. I basically fly to work, rather than drive, even though I did that too, as I drove myself to the airport and parked my car there for a few days. I am not complaining only explaining so that you understand I travel - a lot. And I have a screen for every length of a trip. In my life, you want to take just enough technology to get by while on the road. Just like you only want to take enough clothes and no more. While I am allowed 32 kilos of baggage on this trip, I am traveling with a small carry on instead. Why in the world would I need 70.4 pounds of baggage for a four day trip?? One pair of jeans (which I am wearing!), one suitcoat, two dress shirts, three socks, three underwears, two sets of work out clothes, sneakers, and two phones and one external keyboard and some cigars to enjoy along the way.

The reality is that the phones constitute the world's smallest computers, and I have both an Android and an Apple device on this trip, which gives me a total of three SIM cards and phone numbers and data plans as I am on this four day trip. Honestly my phone can do every single thing my computer can, and the only constraints are storage and (the worst of course is) the small screen. Otherwise, the upsides, are the diminutive size and weight of the phones, and that you are not required to whip them out as you go through security.

For a short intense face to face business trip which will have limited sit-and-work-from-a-screen time anyways, the trade off is clearly in favor of the worlds smallest computers. I will let you know in another blog on the way home IF, I regret this decision in retrospect and why.

Radiation burn

What a week I had recently, six flights in three days and according to those who know, I am in danger of radiation burn, or over exposure. But that has been the case for a number of years now, although I will admit these last few days have been turbo travel. Business travel is really dangerous the health and well being of the business traveler. However there is no other way to get from A to B in these time frames.

It is a hurry up and wait life. So you need to maximixe all the opportunities and moments along the way to either be very productive or to be very in the moment and just be. Yet it needs to be said that the connections made possible by this turbo travel are not trifling. They are connections and opportunities and high potentials to change the world. The timid don't take these options, too difficult they argue, too taxing they say, too dangerous and the cost too high they posit, and the moments are gone. 

Sometimes you simply have to go big or stay home. I often would like to stay home, but I would rather make the big impact, complete the chance to change everything, to matter. Staying home is overrated.

The seduction

The humble-brag of the modern world is busyness. I have been taught this my entire life it seems. It is how I found myself working insane hours for decades in my previous vocation. There may not be a worse method for measuring your real significance in life.

Dan Rockwell says, "The seduction of feeling important because you’re busy trivializes leaders." I would go further by stating that the seduction of feeling important by the level of your busyness trivializes everyone.

If I am important simply because I am in demand, needed, busy or sought after then I have chosen the metric of activity to be my metric, rather than the importance of what I am doing, or the actual productivity of what I am accomplishing. Activity and productivity are not the same metric. 

Nor do I want to simply be more productive, in order that I can do more. I want to be more productive so that I can do the important in less time or with less effort, in order to have margin and space in life to do the most significant things, like thinking, sharing my life with key people, enjoying the moments, and having less pressure on every deadline of my vocational work - not in order to add more and more to my plate. Think of it as having a properly balanced cycle of enough. Enough work to change the world, only enough tasks to do it well, and enough resources to not have to worry  overly about paying the rent and eating.

I am important and significant because of what I choose to do, not how many pies I have my fingers in, or am needed to complete. Be significant not busy!

A little more permanence in life?

Having lived most of the last 23 years abroad, I am not sure how you would classify us culturally or emotionally any longer. We are such a mix of so many different experiences and countries and cities and languages over the course of our lives. We are Westerners passport-wise, but we live very small and unusual compared to practically anyone we know from the West. 

We drive the oldest cars, have the smallest apartment, live like poor church mice in a poverty stricken part of town, yet we spend and give amazing amounts of resources each year to the work and ministry that we are involved in and enjoy. None of this is said with any pride, because someone gave us all those resources to begin with, and we do not view them as ours to spend on ourselves. And most of the time I am 100% ok with living like this, except when I am not.

Lately I am not. Honestly I have been really weary of eating off the plastic table that we have been using for the last five years. We would have been using it longer than that but the two places we lived previously came with actual tables to eat on. And for some reason, maybe after spilling my coffee a million times did me in, or perhaps it was just how amazingly ugly this picnic table has become, but for some reason, I wanted a real table to eat on. I have to confess, it is the one piece of furniture that my parents have that I am jealous for, a huge beautiful wood table. It has such a sense of permanence to it, longevity to it, and they have had it most of my life!

Of course our apartment is way too small to have a table like the one my parents have, but I have been hankering for a table for a long long while now. One with some weight to it, some "we are gonna stay here a long time" feel to it. Now the first wall I had to climb was to get Brenda to agree to spending a dime on anything for us. That took me over a year. Finally she capitulated as she finally got the sense of how important this was to me, no matter how irrational. But getting us to both agree on which table to get, oh my that was a serious wall to climb. We would go to a furniture showroom and she invariably would want to buy the cheapest one there. That is precisely why we have been eating off a plastic table for years! I would invariably want the most well-made one, regardless of the cost. I was wanting something with some substance!

Well long story short, we finally moved a table into the apartment today and got rid of that horrid old plastic thing. Sometimes, you need a bit of permanence to shed that "I am living out of a suitcase" feeling. Here is a pic of the long negotiated piece of furniture in question.

Getting there before you leave

Arriving 30 minutes before you leave

Only in the Balkans do I think such a thing would ever be possible, but seriously, this happened this morning, as we departed Istanbul at 09:00 o'clock local time and we arrived in Skopje at 08:04 local time on the same day. There are many local factors that contribute to this phenomena, in fact I am surprised that some Balkan president hasn't made an arbitrary decision to just put us on Eastern Standard time!

The photo above shows the scheduled departure time and the scheduled arrival time.

I think too that there are other times we should get there before we leave. 

1. In our spiritual walk. In my 35 years of ministry, I find that most Christians state that they are citizens of heaven, but fully embrace the world and living in the world, and I hate to say it but it is true, living like this is our real home. If indeed we are citizens of heaven, then we most definitely need to behave, live, and experience life as if we are already there. We should get there before we leave. It would change a great deal about our lives I think, were we to have this posture and attitude.
2. In our vocations. Instead of just barely showing up when we eventually arrive, why don't we get there before we leave? Frankly it would make us much better employees. We would be fully engaged in the tasks that we have been charged with, and the value that we have agreed to deliver. It would make us far more valuable to our employers!
3. In our relationships. An ounce of prevention is supposedly worth a pound of cure, and arriving before we depart would be perfect. It is the relational idea of certainty and dependability. I give my lovely bride what she needs even before she realizes that she needs it! That is arriving before you depart! That is looking ahead, so that your relationships can have all that they will need in order to thrive and grow. It is arriving before you depart.

I bet you can think of other areas where this metaphor will be helpful.

Why do we resist?

Why do we delay and resist the most difficult parts of our work lives? I mean apart from the fact that they are the most difficult parts and not easy to accomplish? 

I am usually wonderfully and pleasantly surprised when I finally bite the bullet and do what needs to be done. In fact I would argue that the sheer difficulty can greatly enhance the satisfaction of accomplishment. I mean if it was easy, anyone could do it, right? The fact that YOU find it difficult, can possibly mean that the task is beyond most other people's abilities period and that it would never get done if it depended on someone other than you. It could also be that this task is simply outside of your wheelhouse, but when you get to my stage of life and work, you have largely weeded out those kinds of tasks from your schedule and life and have past them on to someone who can do them better or more easily.

No I am talking about the most excellent parts of your skill set, I am talking about the difficult work that sets you apart from everyone else. I am talking about the type of work that demands your best self fully present and on point, work that few others could effectively do, perhaps because of your training or education, or geographical position in the world, or your position and responsibilities in your organization. This is when you need to hit a home run! 

But I often delay and procrastinate these kinds of tasks, because they are so demanding and cost me so much, or take me far outside of my daily normal schedule which I treasure and with which accomplish so much on a regular basis. These super hard ones, disrupt that flow, and perhaps part of the action of turning these pivotal moments into successes, is to allow the disruption to create something new and wonderful and to relax and permit myself to let my normal routine go, so that upon occasion I can do something spectacular, instead of the simply great work that I strive for each day. I just finished one of these kinds of work events and I am flushed with how awesome it went. So once again, why do we resist?

Like Amelia Earhart said, "The most effective way to do it, is to do it."
What really important and difficult thing are you putting off?

A thinking day

This is the one task that needs a certain ambience. I found the perfect situation for that in my travels today. Through a series of fortunate events, I had a few hours free and unstructured at the Naples Italy airport on a sunny warm afternoon.

I found a place to sit outside and enjoy a nice Honduran while contemplating the universe. Not really . . . the contemplating the universe part, but everything else was planets aligned! I worked on a number of high priority thorny situations and made a few notes, but this afternoon was 95% tech free. I can't focus on the thinking part if I have tech in my hands. It always seem that other work floats to the surface if I have tech in my hands, and this was a strictly amazing opportune moment to do the hardest work - thinking.

Now you can't wait to have such a perfect situation present itself (although I find that you can usually create a potential environment to do some hard thinking), because thinking is too important a task to relegate to pristine moments. Granted pristine moments can make them all the more powerful and productive, but this is a task that needs regular exercise. Like most things in life, if it is not scheduled and practiced it never gets accomplished.

So what were the results today? I resolved an apprentice/internship thorn that had been sticking me in the butt for almost a year. There is now a plan and steps to get to the goal. I made progress on the ongoing dilemma/opportunity (its both) that I have with my dad. After the two deaths in our family this past year, there is just me and him and I need to make more/new space in life for him and his needs and honestly just to enjoy these later years of his life with him and make some great memories.

That is it. But those were two huge buggers that have been gigantic weights on my plate for far too long. Reserve your thinking time for the most important matters. Oh, and I spent a good long wonderful half hour just mentally reviewing and cataloging all the people, relationships, structures and opportunities that I am grateful for, that make all this worth doing. After "the perils of travel" this was the best kind of chance and change. Go think!

The perils of travel

The perils of travel

We were finally all on board the airport shuttle, running a little late but doable. As the doors to the van close I see a Turk standing in the smoking area finishing up a cigarette and watching us! He gets the drivers attention as we were driving away. So we stop, back up, and open the doors to let the latecomer get on.

But wait! He runs back inside the hotel and gets his suitcase. Three times! And finally we have all three of his large bags loaded and he runs back into the hotel and disappears. And we wait and we wait and we wait until they finally unload all his luggage and leave for the airport.

We finally leave! Yet we don't make it out of the parking lot before we turn around! And pick yet a different family of three.

Fast forward an hour and a half after two complete security checks (where I was certain I was going to have to take off my underwear) and I finally get on the plane. Window seat. And then I have an extra large man come and sit in the middle seat! He poured out of his seat into my seat. Long story short I was sitting crooked the entire time to Italy. I am pinched between extra large man and the window!

And of course since we came from Turkey and not Western Europe, and since we had about 25 African men on the plane, security, customs, and passport control were completely anal, to the point that some of the Italian men started fighting each other and the police had to come break it up, it was a madhouse.

All in a normal day at the office. And some people are jealous of this, I kid you not. Not to mention I left out the Italian train station story, the pick pocket, the 12 beggars, and taxi ride from hell.

Constraints 2 Psychic Prisons

This week while I was talking to one of my key clients, he was sharing with me some of the things he has been learning in his PhD studies about organizational development. One of the metaphors used to describe organizations was "psychic prisons". I took that to mean that it is psychic in the sense of mental, not in the sense of psychotic (though if you work for certain kinds of organizations I imagine that it could also be psychotic!). I thought it was an exceptionally rich metaphor.

As I have been headhunting some new employees for The Leadership Development Group, one of the most interesting phenomenon that I come up against, is the inability to find leadership guru's who can think about funding models or salary models that are outside of the traditional employer paid exchange of time for money. They are literally in a mental prison, for all practical purposes incapable of thinking about a different funding model or a different way of receiving compensation for value given.

But this metaphor is also rich when applied to the other areas of our lives. Most of us live in a psychic prison concerning our life work, or the impact that we can make, or the significance of what we can do, or how we might simply change the world with the time, talent and treasures that God has already given us. Many of us live in psychic prisons spiritually as well. The limitations of our understanding, or the boundaries of our theology, or the constraints of our past experiences, become the bars of the cells we find ourselves in. We seem to struggle indefinitely with our lack of imagination, the confines of our narrative that we tell ourselves about ourselves and about our work and about our God.

However, logging the hours does not have to be a part of the psychic prison. Logging the hours is what my language students have to do to speak beautiful Spanish or Russian. Logging the hours is what my pastors have to do, to deliver beautiful sermons on Sunday. Logging the hours is what you and I have to do to hone our crafts and be the best that we can be. Working hard and logging solid hours is not part of the prison, it is a treasured gift, that we might do something magical in the world with the gifts and abilities and resources that God has given us.

The most beautiful thing about being a Christ-follower is that we have been given essentially a get out of jail free card! Don't you think it's time that we got out of our psychic prisons, no matter what they may be, and start to live this one wild beautiful life that we had been given to the full extent of every possibility?

The fastest way forward

"The fastest way to move forward in life is NOT doing more. It starts with STOPPING the behaviors holding you back." Benjamin Hardy

This axiom is stated by many leadership leaders, like Marshall Goldsmith, Michael Hyatt and others. However the very nature of productivity is often about doing more, not less better. That is where Gregg McKeown stands out with his excellent book on Essentialism. But most people, including my clients, want more, not a better less. The majority of people I meet and know, it seems to be almost impossible to overcome FOMO. More is more. 

But it is not. The more I add more, the more I diminish the quality of every single beautiful thing I am working to create or produce. Friends, that is less, not more. Quality and quantity are not the same. If you want to change the world, or create a masterpiece, or provide clarity, or be the best at anything, you have to dial it in, focus, intensify on less and less. Think of it as purifying the finished product, concentrating the final result, strengthening what gets accomplished, and amplifying the outcomes. Most people get stuck eternally at mediocre because they can't stop doing all the things that are sabotaging their stated goals or purposes. And if you can't stop eating french fries, you can't get to and stay at an ideal weight. As Bob Biehl says, "Either you live a life of discipline or your live a life of regret."

Less is more. It is more focused, it is deeper, it is purposeful, it is intentional, it is satisfying in ways more can never be. It is simpler, clearer, cleaner, more pure. It is a design of success. It is a way of organizing everything toward the goal. It is singular, exceptional and remarkable. If you do this, it is the fastest way forward. It is not Facebook or Twitter or TV or Netflix. On Thursday evening a young lady showed up at our door selling TV packages, and it was all about more and more channels. When I finally got her to stop her spiel, I pointed out that we do not have a television in the house. But she did not believe me and pushed her way into the living room to have a look around for herself. Magdalena pointed out that she had never been in a home without a TV.  I am not necessarily prideful about not having a TV, I am frankly much more flabbergasted and appalled that there aren't others who don't! We say no to the intrusion of TV, so that we can say yes to people, events and focused productivity that matters. Honestly people, TV never matters.

Stop. Say no. Frequently. Most of the time. Far more than you ever say yes. It is the fastest way forward.

Constraints?

HBR had a recent blog on their website that matched just what I was experiencing each day here in Eastern Europe. Constraints. Limitations. Scarcity. There is one thing every ex pat knows, if they have ever lived in a resource depleted country, you have to be creative to make do, make things stretch further, and often it just means that you have to work harder period.

It has been that kind of week. Yesterday the front door lock jammed and we could not get our keys in the door, meaning we could only lock the door if one of us were in the apartment. And the toilet continued to not work hardly at all, and the car is in the service center, etc etc. So I have to go by the locksmith shop twice to get someone over here, and then the guy who comes, isn't the guy who is actually qualified to do the repair, so I have to wait until the second guy can come, and what would take a quick trip to Home Depot in the states, is pretty much an all day kind of thing here. 

Been trying to get the car repaired ever since I got back to Eastern Europe three weeks ago, and it was finally supposed to ready to pick up at 12:00 today on the dot. Of course it was not, and after waiting until 13:00 hours, I had to scoot to my next appointment on foot. I must have walked five miles today. But I got it all done. And now, the plumber is putting in a new Throne for us, and may it please work! Please pretty please, may it work. But nothing is certain. 

Scarcity forces us to use our ingenuity, our creative abilities, to expect more of ourselves, and to just get moving, because there is no one to complain to here, who might actually get something done for you. You gotta make your own success man! Set your expectations high and don't let anything or anyone or any "lack" prevent you from being all that you were meant to be.

A better way to make a positive transaction.

There are the marvelous tax laws in Western Europe. If I purchase something here, since I am both a citizen outside of Western Europe and I live outside of Western Europe, I should have all the taxes refunded to me as I leave the country where I made my purchases. I have special receipts for the whole process, which clearly state I will receive such and such amount of euros as I leave the country. This is a great way to get me to spend my money here!

However, they make the process all but impossible at the airport. This stamp that you need is at one end of the airport, the obscure tax office at the other end, and then the final place to actually receive money in your hand can't even be found on the other side of security. The entire process, hidden location of offices, lack of signs and instructions, and multiple steps, are designed to prevent anyone from actually getting a tax refund. I travel 100,000 miles a year all over the world, and I could have navigated the whole process and completed it if . . . if I had had two solid hours to do little else but walk from one end of a very large airport to the other end, several times over.

I value my time too highly to do so, and that is what they are betting on for sure, that the small amount of money will be insufficient to tempt me, once the difficulty of the process becomes clear. This is why I so rarely purchase high price items within Western Europe. While they occasionally get a little bit of extra off of me like they did today, for the most part they lose 10's of thousands of euros of potential purchases because I don't do regular business with bait and switch vendors, even if they are the government.

The question for us leaders is about transparency, delivering at least as much as you promised, and making it easy for those following us to receive what we said they would receive. Otherwise we are doing the same horrible transaction with our clients, team or followers, and we are no better than the impossible-to-find-and-accomplish-tax-refund-offices in every airport in Western Europe. My friends - under-promise and over-deliver. That is the way to build your business and your reputation.

Embracing Halnon’s razor

My dad, can see the worst in everyone. He carefully thinks through the worst possible motivation for each person’s actions, and then deduces the worst possible judgement. He sees intentionality and malice and hurt in almost every person’s deeds. In fact I spend a great deal of mental energy, thinking through all the ways that a person’s actions and deeds could simply be the result of a mistake or misunderstanding or a lack of appropriate information, etc etc. But my dad can find villainous intentions in arguably everyone. Keeping myself out of that trap is plenty taxing as well!

The real world problem this creates for me, is that it can easily be contagious, where I start to attribute the worst possible thoughts toward each person that I meet and interact with around the world. I don’t want to move through life like this, like I did in the past. So I publicly thank my dad, for forcing me to “never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity” or “don’t assume bad intentions over neglect and misunderstanding” and “you have attributed conditions to villainy that simply result from stupidity.” All of these quotes are from wikipedia about Hanlon’s razor.

Thinking criminal thoughts about each person you encounter in life is all too easy as my dad proves. Stopping that process once it begins takes monumental effort as I discovered. This has application to other than personal interactions with people as well - it can apply to organizations too. After 23 years of what felt like wrestling and fighting with my previous parent organization, I finally left, and changed gears. I should have done it far sooner! However, in the almost nine years since I did leave, I have come to the conclusion that there was little malice at play.  Big organizations are simply suspect to neglect and misunderstanding. On both sides! Each action fostered more misunderstanding, and soon we came to an impasse. But it did not have to be that way. Back then I had far too much of my dad in me, and far too little generosity in my heart to give the benefit of the doubt.

Do you find yourself caught in a conspiracy theory or devil theory? What steps do you need to take, to bring back a generosity of spirit that will allow you to work Hanlon’s razor to your benefit? 

In a room filled with crazy busy people

I am currently sitting in a room filled with crazy busy people running back and forth all over the place. It's the lobby of a huge downtown London hotel in the business district of Kensington. Having just checked out and waiting for my next appointment to show up, I am watching hundreds of people rush through this lobby. But busy isn't necessarily productive. Speed isn't necessarily progress.

Everyone has the same number of hours in their day, but their accomplishments vary greatly. How about you? How about me? There is a significant difference between important and the urgent. One moves things forward, the other is loud and immediate. Which one do I concentrate my primary energy on each day, each hour of effort?

My first four to five hours in each day are the most critical for me. I have sequential actions and processes that I follow in order to contain the urgent and complete the important. Otherwise I find myself having done the urgent and distracting all day, but not finishing the important actions that move life, work and purpose forward. Example: I don't touch email until three other more critically important actions are finished each day. That usually means I rarely check email before 11:00 am.

Gary Keller states that, "Success is built sequentially. It’s one thing at a time"  That is why I block off the morning and stay with the important routine, before exposing my day to the urgent. It is also why I focus one one thing at a time. Multitasking doesn't work for most folks who are highly productive.

I find that two more critical elements to long success are exercise and sleep. When I make these two a daily priority they pay huge dividends in clarity and focus all through the day. What elements and boundaries do you need to put and keep in place to have consist forward progress on the important? Let's get it done now, because this is both important and urgent.

Fire alarms and other startling moments

As I was peacefully slumbering and trying to recover from my five time zone difference in London this morning, the fire alarm went off in the hotel bringing this blissful process to an instant end. I bolted upright in bed and started to move immediately!

Thankfully it was a "false" alarm, in the sense that the hotel did not burn down with all my gear in it, but it was an astonishingly quick way to get the day started.

Recently I have had other fire alarms go off in my life. This past year my mother and also my only sibling died. The loss of them in my life has had many of the same effects in my life like the fire alarm this morning.

The close relationships in my life have incredible value for me, and they require much more effort than I have been allocating them over the last decade. Losing my mother and brother one after the other made me stop and take stock of how I have been working this garden of relationships in my life.

A garden is the perfect metaphor. Relationships, just like gardens, require a level of regular cultivation and attention that Westerners don't naturally or easily do. We compartmentalize our time and our relationships to the point that we become offended if work relationships overlap into our "family time" or our "personal time." Even those designations are weeds in our garden of relationships! The mutuality of one single solid relationship is worth far more than a cut and dry compartment designated as "personal time" or a "family time."

I for one need far more intentionality in all my relationships, or these amazing flowers in my garden are going to wither and be gone from my life.

Hawthorne?

The Hawthorne effect

There is well-documented social science phenomenon called the Hawthorne effect, whereby people change their behavior as a result of knowing they are being observed. Never has this been more important in my life. Yesterday my mom was admitted to a nursing home. She may never leave this place. How do you know that the people you have entrusted your mother's care to, will do an appropriate job? The Hawthorne effect.

When folks know they are being monitored, their actions are more consistent with stated objectives, than those people who think no one is watching, neither today nor tomorrow.

But who is watching me? Who is watching you? Who are the stakeholders in our lives, the people who benefit from our actions? What do they see? Do you realize that you are being checked, tested and measured all the time? Of course this has spiritual dimensions as well, but honestly, I think you can see this as a blanket covering all that we do that matters. Someone is always observing and taking our measure. What is your grade today? How are you improving the value that you bring to your family, your clients, your stakeholders and yourself? I think I need to keep the Hawthorne effect on my radar screen all the time to remind me to keep moving forward.

Summations

This month has been a 20,000 mile flying month unfortunately. Back and forth across the ocean, urgencies and need driving me around like a bad chauffeur. But well practiced at this as I am, I make the best of each challenge and each day. At least as I fly over the Atlantic I get some blessed silence in my life. Not required to speak (nor listen) to anyone. Evidently I got the last seat on these last two flights, which at least explains the high price, not to mention that I purchased this flight about 7 hours before departure! Mom and dad have an emergency, 24 hours later I am at their house, travel worn and stained, but here nevertheless, from a quarter globe away.

This ability to live at the speed of sound is something one must guard against. Especially people like me, mobiles, who travel to another country each week for work. Steady dependable systems of work, relationships and structure prevent the worst elements of such a life, from overtaking you. As I was just reading this week on the hbr blog site, in a 75 year study that Harvard did, good relationships make life the healthiest and richest it can possibly be. So I stop and write one of my top 10 buds. I call one up on google hangouts, I FaceTime with another. I take one out to dinner when they show up in my town. I have coffee with another. I go drinking with yet another. I have to consciously and intentionally maintain this critical web of relationships, so that flying doesn't become my epitaph on my tombstone - "Here lies a man who flew everywhere, but had no friends." Or some sick moniker like that. Who wants that to be the definition of their life??

Instead we want the summation of our lives to read, "Here lies a man who changed the world, invested in many, loved well, gave generously, lived with his hands open, transparent and kind to all, someone to imitate." Or something along that gist, as I am no poet. We all want to matter.

A violent shift in worlds

I knew I was back in my element within moments of arriving in Istanbul. Having just left the placid cow pastures of Northeast Georgia, the slam-packed Istanbul airport was a jarring impact to the senses. You can hardly walk at a normal pace through the airport as there are so many people, and from every point in the world where East would meet West.

I headed out onto the terrance where I promptly fell into an extended conversation with an East Indian, a Bulgarian, and myself of course an American who lives in Macedonia - all within the confines of the Istanbul airport. Our conversations covered African countries (which one’s were the most dangerous at the moment and which ones were the best business environments), skiing, spicy foods (which even the East Indian admitted Thailand holds the Gold Medal), to marathons, to diving to cave diving, to banking and insurance (the East Indian who goes by the name Samil, is a banker) to engineering and communications (which covered Alex the Bulgarian’s expertise), to non-profits and leadership and cultures.

The scope of the conversations reflects the world I was made for, and after nine weeks in the USA (and ridiculous conversations about Dump Trump and Hell no Hillary), it was a shot of pure adrenaline to my psyche and soul. There is so so much more to the world that we live in, than the cows mooing at one another over barbed-wire fences. Its good to be home.

Lesson One. - Never undervalue you already have

A bed. Beds are underrated wonder mechanisms! They hold and support you in so many loving ways, even the bad ones. But they are under-cherished, under-considered, under-appreciated items that every single person reading this has . . . and I know this because I was one of you, until I rode across America on my bicycle.

Then it was eight complete solid weeks of camping, i. e. sleeping in a sleeping bag on the floor with nothing between you and the cold cold floor except a one inch thermarest air mattress, that is, if it remains inflated all the night long. While indoors, it is truly still camping. Trust me. I am now an authority on this. Can you actually sleep in a sleeping bag on a thermarest for eight weeks? Actually yes, but not well, nor deeply, nor comfortably, unless you are also eight years old. Never undervalue your bed.

A shower. A shower is truly a marvel. In the last 48 hours I have literally taken seven showers. I finally feel clean for the first time in eight weeks. I wish I were still in the shower instead of on this airplane! Showers have the power to change your perspective, attitude, feelings, outlook, futures, present, memories - they are the wonder drug! Taking a shower with 20 other guys, in some of the moldiest, dirtiest, fungi-infested, stopped-up-drains, no water pressure, no lights sometimes, even in a baptistery once!, horror movie kinds of places for eight weeks, gives one a deeply spiritual appreciation for a modern shower that all of us have in our personal homes.

Showers that have hot water, and showers that have knobs from which we can call on that hot water to come-to-me experiences. Instead we had showers where you have to hold a "button" in, under pressure, sometimes under extreme pressure, in order for the water to trickle out. Try washing hair with one hand! Hey, trying washing anything with one hand while holding "the button!" Try wetting your bar of soap and rolling it around in your hand (singular), while holding "the button." It will invariably shoot across the scum infested floor to the other side of the shower directly under someone else's feet who is also trying to accomplish the same feat. Never undervalue your shower.

Finally a toilet. And of course we DID have a toilet in every place we stayed. The part you have to appreciate is that most often it was a single equal opportunity throne, to be shared with 20 other guys. Electronics were immediately banned, as were all reading materials! And trying to keep the girls from hijacking your single throne was almost impossible! Unless it happened to be one of those wonderful places where the door would not lock and the stall had no door! Assuming your place even had a stall surrounding the throne!

And while we did have a toilet, there was no, absolutely none, zero, nada, privacy ever. Imagine brushing your teeth each morning to the music of others on the throne! Imagine the hope of toilet paper which might not do you permanent damage when used. Number 10 grade sandpaper would have been kinder! Imagine never having enough TIME to finish your business, because there was only one throne and 20 guys. It's like being on the golf course and having someone constantly hurry your every shot! Never undervalue your toilet/privacy.

Never undervalue what you already have. Take some time and appreciate what you already have. Be grateful, thankful, and overwhelmed by how good you have it!

Grit?

Today was a beautiful 80 mile ride day through Ohio, on rural roads, light traffic, low humidity, and ok, we did have a headwind, but that was just a wonderful cooling breeze as far as I was concerned, although there was a great deal of whining about it from the other riders that came in after me. Today is a blog about consistency.

All my life I have gotten to where I am going, by consistency. What is phenomenally disappointing is the amount of jealousy and resentment that this has caused in so many people. Riding across America has just been a repeating story-within-a-story of what I have experienced my whole life. We have been riding on this 3500 mile ride for over seven weeks now, and the whining and complaining (jealousy) about my "speed" and "how fast I am" is just ludicrous. First of all I am riding the heaviest bike of all riders on the entire ride - the one and only mountain bike. Most people's entire bicycle weigh less than my front RockShox fork weighs! Try pushing that up the Rocky Mountains! Secondly I am a chronically weight challenged, middle-age grandfather of three. Come on people, look at the facts here!

Today is a perfect example of most days out on the route. I start off slow and steady to get my old bones warmed up and the blood flowing (which seems to take longer each and every day!). I am often at the end of the long line of riders, but sometimes I start in the middle and occasional near the front. But today is the example we are using - I started 12th out of 29 riders. At the end of 10 miles I was 9th out of 29 riders. By the time we reached the first rest stop at the 20 mile marker I was 7th out of 26 riders (because we had 3 drop out for the day at this point) By the time we reached the second rest stop at the 40 mile marker I was 4th out of 26 riders. By the time we reach the third rest stop at the 60 mile marker I was 2nd. And then at the end of the 80 mile ride I was first. Typical day. I was as surprised as always. It is called consistency, faithfulness, stubbornness, grit, focus, tenacity, determination, luck or stupidity - depending on what your point of view is and what kind of person you want to be.

Every single person can choose to ride at the exact same speed as me. They ALL have better equipment, they all have the same tools or better, many of them have youth on their side as well, and they all have excuses. I wonder what would happen if I did not stop to take pictures along the way?? My one and only point here is that consistency can produce astonishing and unexpected results over and over again. It is the story of my life. Try it and don't waver, and be amazed.

Your real face

An early early Sunday morning at Starbucks, getting a legit coffee and hot breakfast (compared to the breakfast cereals I have had to eat these last seven weeks). Sitting in a soft chair, soaking up some atmosphere and peace before heading back to the biking group, and the pain of group dynamics. I had never realized how much of an introvert I can be . . . don't laugh, because it is a big enough adjustment without you laughing at me! And yes I have snickered about this quite a bit over the last month, as the realization has come to me.

Is it possible that I have been forced into a public persona that oozes charisma and energy and extrovertism and all that exhausting group leadership stuff all these years? Is it possible that this is what I thought a pastor/missionary/leader had to be? Is it possible that this is not very much me at all??  Whoa!! 

Does anyone else find the effort to speak out loud, especially early in the morning, to be excruciating, almost beyond possibility? Do you find that not entering into every fight or conversation (ala Joe Callaway) to be freeing? Do you wish that there was a lot more silence and quiet in the world? Do you find you can impact and lead indirectly just as well, perhaps even better than from the front? Do you wish frequently that the idiots would shut up? 

Then perhaps, maybe, perchance, your real face is something other than you have practiced for 50 years.

Are we helping?

Are we helping?

This is a question that is repeatedly coming up in my trek across America. Two blogs back I ranted about the "sweeper" role on our team, and the more I think about it the more I see it as handicapping other adults from taking responsibility for themselves. A second one that is driving me crazy is the expectation to "Chalk the Turns" for those following you in the peloton. I mean you have a Garmin, and an iPhone, and the route sheet hardcopy, why the hell am I supposed to be making chalk marks on the asphalt for you? You have better tools than I do to route your way to our destination. Put your big girl panties on and find your own damn way. Think of it as scouting (Girl Scouts Boy Scouts) and you have a number of compasses and they are all pointing you a certain direction if you would just take the time to USE them, instead of expecting me to stop my ride and make a chalk mark so that you don't have to look at your multiple tools.

So both sweeping and marking penalize the faster (i.e. harder working, sweating, more disciplined) riders, in order to "help" the slower riders. This is complete bullshit. We aren't helping them, we are keeping them helpless in their own minds. Apologies to those who think this is about bicycle groups moving slowly across the USA, the leadership principles here, apply to many of not most other fields of execution. IF this were a race, then these tactics could very well be helpful to the whole team. But since this is not a race, and everyone has permission to travel at their own chosen pace (within limits), then these tactics are not helps at all.

But just so that you don't think I am only pissing and moaning about the slower riders (who I am sorely tempted to call the "complaining" riders, because listening to them non-stop whining about how I did not mark the route with large enough markings, or that we were pushing them too hard as sweeps is getting really old) I am also plenty disappointed about another set of riders who want you to "pull" them along. When you get in a pace line of riders, proper etiquette is that one rider leads for generally about 3-5 minutes and then the next rider in the pace line takes the lead and the front rider goes to the back of the pace line, because being in front is alot more work than being in any other position in the pace line. In fact that is the entire point of sharing that load of leading, so that you can go farther faster and expend less energy as a group. So we have a set of riders who eagerly join my pace line every single day, but never take the lead off my hands. This is complete bullshit. (I actually "pulled" for 22 miles three days ago waiting for someone else to step up and take the lead a single time! Did. Not. Happen.)

I have stopped pulling these people period. I just either stand up on my pedals and outpace them so that they can't keep up or I just stop and take pictures until they are out of sight (although one time last week two of the morons stopped and waited while I took pictures rather than pull their own weight and keep on riding!!) These people are not leaders. They may be fast, they may be strong riders, but they are not leaders. Leaders don't wait for others to take responsibility. Leaders don't wait for others to pull their weight. Leaders lead, and that does not have to happen at the front of the peloton, it can happen wherever you find yourself in the line or process.

The biggest value

The biggest value

For far too often I thought the best value I provided was what I did. But I could not have been more mistaken. Don't get me wrong, doing a job well, with careful excellence has great value.  But not the most value at this stage of life. The biggest value comes in careful thinking, and you absolutely must be alone in order to do that. 

Alone time, thinking time is the single most underrated activity in all my clients worlds, and mine too. Fortunately for me, I actually really enjoy my alone time, actively seek it out, start to feel desperate if I don't get it in regular doses. But my more social peers can't get off the hamster cages of expectation and opportunity for social interaction long enough to get any real thinking done. 

The best work in my opinion involves super intense quiet times followed by robust interactions with the appropriate people. You need the quiet in order to have something significant to contribute at the point of interaction. I am super appalled at how many conversations in the real world are banal nonsense! I have to carefully choose not to help that wasteland continue. Contributing real value requires real work between my ears.

Sweeper? Tradeoffs?

Today I was asked to be sweeper for the team. I said "no thank you" which was really difficult, because most of the folks on this team believe volunteering to be sweeper occasionally to be a critical part of being on this team. Not. Going. To. Happen. Again. I did it already. Once. Can't waste that much time again (five extra hours) for such weak reasons. First of all I don't agree with the Fuller Center's insistence for sweepers. I mean who sweeps the sweepers? It is redundant nonsense. (Sweepers are the two people who stay behind the slowest members of the group to make sure everyone gets where they are suppose to go, and there are so many assumptions at play here I can't even start to explain) Who makes certain the sweepers arrive? How is that any different than the last person in the peloton doing that themselves and (horror of horrors) taking responsibility for themselves! Read the route sheet for pity sakes! Use a stinking GPS that is on every single phone if nothing else! Get a life people!

Moreover I need to write you. This is a far more productive activity than babysitting people who don't meet the minimal requirements for riding on a trip like this, (12 miles per hour is a minimal requirement and if you can't ride that fast, stay home or work out more but don't waste my life). I need to work with my clients around the world. They are changing the world and I want to be a part of that, not watch some pre-menopausal over-weight woman stay stuck in 1st gear for 91 miles. 

So I will strive to be more attentive, encouraging, helpful, hard working with the chore teams, first to volunteer for work that others don't want (which are practivcally helpful to the team), but I have to stay firm in my refusal to squander my life in pointless activities, even when those around me perceives them to be important. It's called a tradeoff.

Up and down these monsters

We have been crossing Colorado and Wyoming at a frantic pace this week. Frantic in a bicycle sense, not a car/motorcycle sense. The Rocky Mountains are serious climbs and descents, and I have a burnt all my available energies this week, making my way up and down these monsters. I think I could go to bed at 7 pm each day! Of course the schedule does not allow for that, and so I have to stay up late each night and get up early each morning.

Because of all that is going on in my life right now, the beautiful fatigue I have each day is perfect. It keeps me level and balanced and just tired enough that I don't join in every fight/conversation/discussion/argument I am invited to attend. However it has a downside, in that I don't have nearly enough bandwidth to emotionally navigate all the relationships in my life, especially the ones that surround me on this adult camping trip known as The Fuller Bicycle Adventure.  I am discovering that when in such a state, that I don't have nearly as much patience or tolerance or longsuffering as I normally experience in my life. I have less willingness to allow others to dominate, or win, or perhaps rather it's a super sensitivity to the finely-tuned abuses of leadership, or position or power. In other words, long story short, I am that curmudgeon that I always suspected that I was. No one is less surprised than I am.

The reality that I take away from this, is that much of what I do and say and my public persona is relatively shallow and skin deep. Those important characteristics and core virtues are not nearly as foundational nor deeply embedded as I would like them to be. I have a great deal of work and restructuring to do still . . . yet knowing these deficits is at least half the battle, and perhaps the most necessary starting point. Your can't change what you don't know for sure needs changing. You can't address that which you are not convinced needs improvement. So the exploding awareness that I still have quite a ways to grow, is a gigantic step in the right direction. This is the up and down of the real monster.

The completely me me

Today we crossed into Colorado from Utah. Utah was spectacular. I had flown into Salt Lake City some 19-20 years ago, and I had driven into tiny snippets of the state before, but nothing like this slow four days in state on a bicycle - it was amazing. Let's hope Colorado offers as much along the route that has been selected for us. Spent the afternoon talking to my peeps and texting my niece and listening to folks struggles with life and death.

But my daily speed bumps concerning my brother's death 8 weeks ago are slowly growing smaller I think. These three plus weeks on this trip across the USA have been wonderfully brutal and therapeutic. The 1400 miles we have traveled so far have been so scenic there are almost no words to express how beautiful the trip has been so far. Yes yes yes I understand Nebraska and Iowa are coming, but flat cornfields have their own beauty I am hoping. If they don't, some other place in my near future will and I can wait.

The best part is that I don't have to BE anything for anyone on this trip. Sure I still have clients and I have affiliates and I do have to care for them, and I call my parents every single day, but the 25 people that I am crossing the country with on the FCBA tour, I have never met before and after the trip will likely never see again. There is a much needed freedom in this adult camping trip I find myself on right now, where everything is tight and significant, but temporary. There is a never experienced (for me at least) freedom to completely be whatever I need to be today kind of feel to this. I don't have to bring my best self to work, nor do I have to bring my business suit out, nor do I have to be the leadership guru, nor do I have to be "the missionary" or "the pastor", instead I just get to be me. The me of this moment. The completely me me of today. My only worry is that I might not want to go back to my other life.

Making the most of it!

Sitting in Heber City Utah, enjoying a fine beverage from the breweries in Maryland, a hamburger made from the cows I see in the pasture before me, snow still on the peaks even in mid July, and so many other things to appreciate about this moment, this beautiful Saturday. So much to be thankful for, so much to be blessed by, so much that I get to do. 

A number of people have questioned how I can get up at 4:45 am everyday and then bike 80-100 miles a day with our group? What they don't understand is that I GET to do this. It is no chore, it is no hardship, because I remind myself 49 times day that I get to do this. This one small window in my life where I don't have to work my normal schedule, where I don't have to keep my usual office hours, where I get to survey the Rocky Mountians slowly and completely each day at 15 miles per hour. It is awesome and I won't likely get another chance to do this. Making the most of it!

No language is acceptable at the most frustrating dinner ever

One of the most frustrating and amazing phenomena in dealing with 20 somethings as I travel the world, is that every single phrase and word choice and adjective that I speak, they can find something objectionable about it. There are no possible solutions to this challenge on my side. Because no matter what language I choose to employ, one of them will find something wrong with it. Simple speech does not exist any longer. Straightforward conversation cannot happen any longer. Truth can't exist nor thrive in an environment where every word is loaded with assumptions and implications in the mind of the 20 something. Regardless of the topic, homosexuality, people of color, trafficking, orphans, churches (and all these terms I just used in this sentence are also objectionable in some fashion!) they are all loaded.

Don't get me wrong, I love 20 somethings. All three of my young adult children are 20 somethings. They are very special people. But in their conversations with me, they assume the best possible meaning of each statement, of each sentence, of each vulnerability. Whereas, the 20 somethings I just had dinner with, assume every possible slight, harm, evil intention, wrong morals, bad character, and worse possible position to each word that comes out of my mouth. There is no possible way to have a conversation in that context. While we are both speak a form of the English language, we have attached different meanings to each of the words that we are speaking, and thus, while we technically "understand" what the other person is saying, we completely lose and forsake the true and actual meaning of what was said, it feels like (and this is coming from a totally multi-lingual person) like I am speaking English and you are speaking Greek. There is not much communication taking place.

And once you feel this horrible communication doldrum, and experience the agony of failed shared meanings, you see that it happens in so many spheres of the world, business, politics and society in general. We use the same words in general, but attach completely different meanings and nuances to those words, and so the results are unpredictable, and are very much like hugging a cactus. #themostfrustratingdinnerever

Too hot to be used

Yesterday I got a message on my phone that I had never seen before. It said that the "iPhone was too hot and could not be used at the moment" or something similar and it had a thermometer icon there showing red. Of course I would need the phone at that exact moment to determine if we were heading in the wrong direction or not! Thats what I get for leaving the phone in the sun. And I was very surprised to hear that almost everyone in the group that I was with at that moment had received similar messages on their phones or iPads, because this was a first for me. In Asia, my iPads get very hot.

I think we often allow our lives to get overclock, over-revved and over-heated too, and we can't really function until the temperature comes down to a manageable level. Self care and self awareness are at least two ways to stay on top of this problem and PTA - protect the asset - you and me. We need to monitor how hot our lives are getting and take appropriate steps to keep them in the prime operating range, in our high performance range. We can't expect to bring our best selves in the arena in our leadership if we don't watch the stovetop and make sure things aren't boiling over.

David is looking to get his groove back . . .

Overwhelmed and overclocked is what life in the modern world feels like, all the time. Today is the first day in . . . forever it feels like . . . where I have had the margin to do the mundane and necessary. Like changing a blown light bulb, repairing the license plate holder on the car, and the not so mundane, like taking my wife out to breakfast, and writing a blog post. For a guy who takes margin and space in life very very seriously, this is like blasphemy.

So I decided to turn the day upside down in order to try and regain my leverage on me. As my good friend Jeff said, "I think I know what you mean about clarity, priorities and leadership "being in your head". Self-leadership is almost certainly the most important variety of influence! The way I think through and operate on my priorities, how I self-motivate, self-regulate, and self-assess are pretty critical functions in a world where no one is looking out for you, no one is planning your career, and no one owes you anything, regardless of what the politicians say. The day each of us creates is a function of that self-leadership."

Notice that last phrase, the day each of us creates is a function of self-leadership. Ouch. Even a leadership focused/oriented/driven guy like me, can let the urgency of the immediate and loud, drown out the discipline of purpose and the important. Granted life is a constant flux of cycling demands, but Jeff has it right, the day I create is a function of self-leadership, and I can't lay that at anyone's feet but my own.