"There is more than one hole back there!"

This profound statement comes from my wife the supermissionary. And she really is . . . a supermissionary. I am just sort of an addendum to Brenda . . . in the way that a tornado is to a hurricane . . . the way water is to a rainbow . . . the way that a brick is to a castle, you get the picture. Now she will probably (read certainly) get upset when she reads this blog, because she detests people tooting her horn. But she is the goldmine of the CMA. She would work for free. No! She would pay the CMA for the opportunity to do what she does! In comparison to that, I am somewhat of a liability.

Now back to the profound statement above . . . she is supermissionary, I think I already mentioned that, but she is also rather challenged in a number of ways. She is challenged with technology, directions, details, etc . . . what can I say she’s a blond. She recently realized that there was a radio in our car . . . the one we have been driving for the last seven years, and listening to music in for the last seven years . . . but I digress as ususal. The statement in the title is one of the technological challenges she faces. She teaches English classes like all over the entire country, using only the Gospel of Luke and that totally rocks, because 99% of Macedonians have never read the bible, thus never encountered the claims of Christ in a significant manner. She is quite the evangelist. She can preach better than me too! BTW she is currently screaming at the top of her lungs in the kitchen because she just accidently picked up a cockroach.

So she had just completed level four re-write on her ever-so-sad-of-an-excuse-for-a-computer Dell laptop (DELL = Dutifully Enabling of Limitless Liabilities, better known as computer viruses) and she needed to get the work to the printer, and so she came downstairs to my office and asked me for the thingymabobber, that . . . diskthingy . . . the you know! I think she means the flash drive. And so she did. So she happily skipped off to her DELL pleased that she had been able to connect once again at the soul level with her Neanderthal. Soon she returned with a less than thrilled look on her face. “I can’t figure out this thingymabob” she says. I always find such technical speech coming out the mouth of an English teacher very humorous. So I asked her what the problem was, and then she said it, the profound statement, the “There is more than one hole back there.”

Now what is most hysterical about all of this is that she said this with a totally straight face. I on the other hand, was ROTFL (rolling on the floor laughing). She was not impressed with my humor no more than she is with the length of my hair. She said, “I am serious, there is more than one hole back there.” At this point I was in danger of meeting Jesus in an immediate face to face sense, as I could no longer breath! Laughter had robbed me of all capacity for oxygen-nitrogen exchange.

When I finally changed my pants and got dry again, I went and showed her which of the two holes back there were the USB ports. By this time, even she was laughing at me laughing. She really is a supermissionary and soon I am sure she will find a way to write, edit and print without technology of any kind. I just hope she does not get lost on the way home. If the next 20 years are as funny as the last 20, I will never make it.