Christmas gift giving? Gorging in America

I had the unusual opportunity to observe/be present for another family's gift giving process/event. The sheer volume/amount/number of gifts was amazing. Breathtaking. Mind-numbing. Overwhelming. Beyond the ability to be thankful for in any meaningful way. They had a lot of fun in a gorging overeating sort of way. But the mountain of gifts were quickly opened and everyone had their pile of stuff. And I sit here trying to determine if anyone is any happier for it? 

There is no judgment in my assessment, because my clan is going to do something very similar a week from today when we can finally all get under the same roof (today, the actual 25th of December, finds us in three different states). Not only are we going to do the same thing, but my clan loves it! But last year I refused. I gave no gifts. And I liked THAT much better. I want a house full of laughter and good smells, more than stuff, far more than stuff!

But while we have broken free from the slavery of the 25th of December, we have not broken free of the bondage of excess. My favorite book this year is "Essentialism: the diligent pursuit of less but better." and I need to find a way to help the whole family shift to this way of thinking! But now we are shifting from excess of gifts to an excess of food- it's dinner time! And this may be worse than gorging on gifts.

Spaces

There are some great and unusual working spaces in the course of my everyday life that perhaps others don't get to explore. But I think that almost everyone I meet has some kind of unique possibilities, if they would only give it some keen thought and consideration. Mine is airplanes. Enforced sitting for long periods of time, lends itself to sharp periods of boredom unless I have some "work" to think through and engage mentally and "do". I can play a few games and I can watch a hockey game, but that is about the extent of my capacity for lite weight amusement, and then I find my mind hungry for something meatier to bite into. So my special little space in life is airplanes. I often delay certain kinds of work and projects for upcoming flights, simply because they are perfect for the cramped, can't really get up and move around kinds of time stretches, that air travel generally forces on us. So what space is within your grasp that you could shape or use to dig in deep on some thorny problem, some deep challenge, or get some necessary-but-less-than-sexy work accomplished? I bet you can do this, and make a pointless dead spot turn productive. Pulling for your success.

(I also work and play hard at making this dead spot in life a productive place. I am always testing and trying new tools, hardware and software, to make this more productive and more interesting. For this blog today I was using an iphone 6 plus in landscape, typing on an iwerkz bluetooth keyboard, and on the software/app side of things, I used Drafts.)

I love Christmas!

I love Christmas! Of course I love the fact that it is Advent and that without Christ come in the flesh we have nothing. We are nothing without that monumental event.

But I love just regular old pagan Western Christmas too. I love the way gift giving sharpens our focus and attention on those we care deeply about, actually enhancing that care considerably. I love the highly repetitious annual Christmas songs every store plays. I love the energy with which things are happening. I love the crowds of people and I love the atmosphere and energy.

Most people think I am crazy, but I love Christmas and try to reproduce many of those elements in the teams I work with and the people I lead. In fact Christmas personifies the energy and attitude that I feel most days while working! Now you are certain I am crazy :-). That is ok, I know most people don't like their work, but I do.  I get to work with interesting people and fascinating situations all the time. And if you think I like my work, then you should meet my wife. She would pay them money to get to do her job!

So yes I love Christmas and think every day should be Christmas, and thankfully most days are close.

a 300 pound manual

It's late in the afternoon. My dad is sitting there, with a 300 pound car manual in front of him, meticulously and carefully detailing all the intricacies of gasoline motors. He is looking for minuscule and microscopic information about why his lifters are "rattling" in his newly rebuilt 289 hot rod engine. Reading is a big chore for my dad. The reason is, that when he completed the eighth grade, that was the last year he went to any kind of formal school. He is a slow reader. And it's just like it digging a ditch for him – hard manual labor.

The point being here, is that my 74-year-old father, even though it's not easy or fun, continues to dig in and learn. There is a great lesson therein for all of us. You are neither too old, nor to handicapped, ever, to learn. Even though he only has an eighth-grade education, the reality is he has the mind of an engineer, and always has. You can see it by his creations, a solid dozen of them over the last 25 years, All from scratch, all from nothing-rusty-holes in a bucket of bolts, into beautiful shiny amazing hot rods that are highly desirable and in high demand.

Thus the second lesson to be learned, that you can't really create something beautiful and amazing, unless you're willing to learn, sharpen, retool, reach beyond where you are today. You can't innovate, build, develop something beautiful and desirable and needed and wanted, unless you are willing to dig in deep and always be humble and always be learning.

And even though I have my doctorate (in large part also due to dad), I find myself at almost 53 years of age learning more than I ever learned at any point in my entire life. And even though doctoral students often joke that they know more and more about less and less, (and there is some truth to that), it's a great stage of life to be where I'm at today was such a good model in front of me, urging me on to learn more and more every day.

Cafe-bar change up!

There are many "offices" available in the modern Western world, and some of them can even provide a high energy atmosphere or ambience for work, to help you be more creative, innovative or simply a great change of pace from your normal space.

Space/environment is critical to producing certain types of work. Sometimes I need I NEED quiet and intense focus. For a particular kind of "flow" or "zone" to occur, I usually need this quiet and focus (sans distractions) to get into a great flow or to resolve a particularly thorny problem or to crush a difficult task. Other times, I like the energy and liveliness of a cafe bar to enable my brain to make unusual connections or jumps that don't usually happen in the low distraction of my office setup.

Sometimes simply people-watching is enough to get my creative juices pumping and flowing, imagining their lives and their situations and their dramas. Life is the difficult pieces that are hard and less than ideal, whereas the easy and fun stuff is more like just the icing on a tasty cake for me. The texture and challenge of the tougher parts is what makes life living and enjoyable. Without the challenging we quickly fall into boredom and less than interesting. A problem free life is nothing that anyone ever has, first of all, nor would it be very interesting second of all.

Of course solving problems for myself helps me solve problems that others are facing. The beauty of age is that I have had the opportunity to do my fair share of problem solving. It is called experience and it is almost always negative in some fashion. How we approach it and perceive it determines if the negative rules or is merely a portion of the overall experience. Changing our working space regularly is a good reminder and helper in realizing that one reality is not the only reality. While I don't want to work every night in the cafe-bar, tonight it is a good time to realize that there is a whole big wide world of difference out there, and every problem can be view/resolved from an almost infinite number of ways and possibilities @ Play Cafe Skopje

Virtually yours

Buying a house while traveling to Europe? Well it is aaa serious juggling act I can tell you that for sure. I have done some crazy things in the past. In fact the last house that I purchased, I did sight unseen, actually never laying eyes on the physical place until six months after I had already purchased it. Did it all, every single bit of it, on the advice and recommendation of a friend . . . who also signed all the documents in my name!

Today I am trying the same thing in a different way.  I am placing a bid on a house in one state, while flying through two others, on my way to two other countries, all happening over the internet through a VPN, while never actually physically signing anything. This is just another side to the virtual world I live in all the time and the virtual work I accomplish every week. Most of my meetings and most of my work happens on the web, not in person. Virtually buying a house may just be the logical normal next step for a virtual president and CEO like myself.

Virtually yours, David

Rigor mortis

They have been sucking all the air out of the room for weeks! The challenges of working from my parents home are proving formidable. This was not true in the past, but it certainly is now. End of life scenarios run amuck in their presence. They have planned out their funerals, purchased their burial plots, committed themselves to rigor mortis, or rather a rigorous schedule of eating at precise times, certain foods, certain practices, all the confidence that these rigors will give structure and stability at a point in life that has none of those  certainties. It is difficult to watch, difficult to help, and difficult to bear - and all the while knowing that I am right behind them and wishing for my end to be different. That is what I mean by sucking all the air out of the room.

It is so overwhelming that it leaves no moments to think, to reflect in quiet, it is all too loud and noisy and boisterous even, to have some focus and clarity. It says far too much that I have to get on an airplane and cruise at 39k feet in order to find some thinking time, some reflecting time, some clarity time. 

We are all moving this same direction. Everyone before us has passed through these doors to eternity - our physical bodies coming to a place invariably where they refuse/cannot function any longer. No one is 100% certain of how our bodies and our souls can function without one another, none of us have ever yet had that experience, but it is coming, that is for certain. My brother believes when your physical body closes down, can't go any longer, regardless of the reason, then you simply cease to exist as a person. That is the END of all meaning and END of all existence in any form other than as fertilizer for the earth. 

But that simply is not the experience of the historical Jesus. And as Death's destroyer, He gives us hope and a future, even though I can't tell you or explain to you all the mechanics and physics of HOW it will happen, I simply do not have enough information nor am I smart enough to understand it even if I had it, to satisfy your curiosity (or mine). This historical Jesus is the One where I am placing my trust, in Him who broke the power of Death over us, and yes it can take us temporarily, but not eternally, and no I don't know how or why. Even 30 plus years as a theologian, and I still cannot explain it in a way that will satisfy the vast majority. I trust Him. My brother calls it "feelgoodism" and a "crutch" and a "desperateattempttohavehopewherethereisnone" among other things. I prefer to call it trust. "Trust is the evidence of things hoped for, the confidence of things not seen."

Goodbyes

There are always goodbyes and more goodbyes in our lives. It is simply a life of goodbyes, and I regularly tell newbies this when they are thinking about coming to our neck of the woods, or when they arrive. No sense in painting it as anything else. In a word, it is the highest regular price extracted of International Workers in my opinion.

This last week has been an oasis in life, hanging with the grand baby and two of the three kids, seeing them everyday, participating in their lives, making memories and having fun together. But the goodbye can always hang there in the corner of a cloudless sky if you don't take care to enjoy THIS moment, to enjoy THIS memory, to make this second count. The future is always, and never, there, to be encountered eventually. 

So tomorrow I will crank the bike up, and drive away . . .  as I have done countless times before, or said goodbye at some obscure airport in some hairy armpit of the world, or left them at boarding school, or flew away without them, and say goodbye. Then the countdown will begin until we can see them again. It is a life of goodbyes.

The thing I noticed today was . . .

Today is my first day in America on this particular trip and my son invited me to go with him while he accomplished a bunch errands, shopping and about town. I always love such invitations, and of course I said yes. Plus I needed to recharge my American phone chip to use while I am in the states, so accomplishing multiple things on one trip is always good, right?

So the thing that caught my attention today was that every single store, every single one, challenged/invited/requested us to join their bonus card, their discount card, their brand card, to get all their discounts, bonuses, and well, their stuff at a cheaper price. In fact, and this is gonna sound weird, I hate shopping at my two favorite (I already told you that this was gonna sound weird) grocery stores in the states, because every single price posted, demands that you have their "card" in order to get that posted price.

A much better way to get my commitment to their store, a devotion to their brand, is to simply give me that special price to begin with, without all the extra I-can-now-track-all-your-purchases mechanisms that they force us to do. This enforced process LOWERS my commitment and my devotion to them. Does not in any way enhance my shopping experience, nor has it ever a single time made me want to return and spend my resources in their particular store.

Those who make the shopping experience one that I want to repeat over and over, make it extra simple and straight forward. There is no "if you have our special discount piece of paper" price enticements or processes. If you want to build a long term relationships with me, think about my experience, not your desire to track me in some fashion.

High on earplugs

I have taken to ear plugs in a grand fashion. "Almost everything is noise" Greg McKeown said, and he was right in more ways than he knew. Not only have I taken to wearing ear plugs in such a way that I frequently have them with me ALL DAY, but I have now crossed an ocean (different oceans) 12 times without watching one single show on the entertainment screen in front of me. What did that cost the airline? Something like $10,000 per seat. All wasted on me, because almost everything is noise.

Here is the McKeown quote, "The prevalence of noise: Almost everything is noise, and a very few things are exceptionally valuable. This is the justification for taking time to figure out what is most important." Followed by an equally good one from John Maxwell, “You cannot overestimate the unimportance of practically everything.”

For transparency sake here, let me state that I do download and watch American Ninja Warrior and The Voice, because otherwise I would have nothing about which to talk to my brother and he is addicted to both of these shows and I like them fine too. I also am a huge hockey fan and watch games every week, and thank God regularly that the hockey season is nine months long :-). But that is it. No movies, no drama shows, no game shows, no TV in general, because it is all noise. 

The additional effect of the muting, that comes from the ear plugs, makes for a much quieter world, a world where you can think, a world where you must decide to be responsible for your life, a world where the frenetic noise of entertainment does not allow you a free pass. You have to choose what you do with your life, or someone else will.

Help at 4:22 am

I travel. I travel alot! It is practically a weekly activity for me. Needless to say I have missed my share of flights and connections. It happened again this week, even though I did everything humanly possible to prevent it, including running two kilometers through two airports, asking for help all along the way, trying to enlist every Turkish Airline employee I could, fruitlessly in the end, because I still missed my flight, by less than three minutes.

Fast forward two and half hours, I finally, finally, finally get to the hotel that the airline provided me, and then was informed by the front desk that I would have to be ready to go at 0400 hours back to the airport!! For a 8:00 am departure????  No thank you. I  told them firmly that I would find my own way to the airport. Since I visit Istanbul many times each year, I am well versed in how to get around on my own. I wanted no wake up call, and I would bear all the consequences for getting my own self to the airport.

I got to my room, and unplugged the phone just in case they did not get how serious I was. There was no way on earth I wanted a 0330 wake up call!  I set the alarm for 5:30 and went to sleep. Imagine my rude awakening at 0422 hours when someone was pounding on my door. They would not stop. They continued on and on. I finally got up and yelled, "what do you want?!?!?" The persons on the other side of the door informed me that the bus downstairs was waiting for me and that they frantically needed to leave NOW!  I told them to go on of course, and went back to bed . . . but the damage was done, I could not go back to sleep.

This is not the kind of help I need when traveling, but it is the kind of help that the Turkish culture is required to give. It is help, but not actually helpful. We do the same all the time, telling the truth without regard for how it will be received, talking about people not present in order to "help" the person dealing with them, or any other time that we decide what is best for someone without regard for their wishes. Sure there are exceptions to this rule, but not very many at all. Help at 0422 hours is not really help.

The energy and the power

World class cities have a energy that is very unique. Istanbul is a city of around 12 million jammed crammed people on endless rolling hills, awesome horrible traffic, a million refugees, no parking places, and sea of asphalt and cement. And it hums and it thrums with a powerful energy that comes from all this humanity, all this potential, all these possibilities thrown together in one small landmass. Yet it is relatively safe and unthreatening as world class cities go.

But there is so little chance that someone who lives here will meet a Christ-follower. There is almost no witness. There is practically no opportunity to hear Truth, to meet God on neutral ground, to choose Life everlasting, to read the scriptures, to hear His voice in the roar of the crowds and in the masses of humanity that vibrate with the pursuit of everything else and all other.

What if we rose up and responded with an equal energy, a response of love and compassion and redemption that was rooted in our daily powerful experience with Yahweh, the creator who pulses with power and light and clarity and love? It seems to be hard to find such people of character and competence and compassion, who will live the Kingdom dream rather than the Western dream or their personal ones.

A lovely day!

Its a lovely day to work and enjoy. Yes I used both those words in the same sentence. On purpose. Intentionally. First of all it is simply a lovely day. I am alive, the sun is shining (literally and figuratively), pollution is very low (rare here) since we have this nice breeze blowing, the cafe has their mist/humidifying system going, I have a great meeting taking place, followed by a vid conference with Cambodia/clients, followed by a vid conference to Ukraine, followed by a nice Honduran . . . well you get the picture.

I am alive, and I can choose, and I can decide, and I can change some things in the world. I can make some things better for some folks today. I can change parts of the world today. I can point people toward Eternity filled with God and Hope. It is a lovely day to work and enjoy!

There is that

A hot summer day, quiet and calm. Too much to think about and too much to consider. How to focus in that which produces the most good, that which is most significant and meaningful?

Contrast that with the mall nearby. People walking about dressed to the nines, mostly worried about the fashion statement they are making. And they ARE making fashion statements!

Worrying about what other people think is a powerfully disrupting force. To see and be seen? There is that. Or to create something powerful and moving? There is that!

Avoid this fatal mistake

There is so much fun going on with the English camps we are having in three locations in Macedonia this year. Tons of pics posted on Facebook. The team from York is doing a fantastic job. The volunteers from all three locations are super!

This kind of synergy requires tons of preparation though. It usually only comes about through a deep confidence in the person making the promise, the person who is going to deliver the results, the person bringing all the elements together. That kind of confidence can't be built in a short amount of time.

It takes years of delivering what you promise and more. Our foundational premise for delivering our commitments is “under-promise and over-deliver.” It is a perfect contrast to practically every American that walks through this part of the world. They promise everything and deliver little. 20 years abroad, and we see this fatal mistake happen endlessly. My wife has delivered the goods for decades here = three great camps!

Moments that take a decade to enjoy

Sitting in a building I spent years of my life building, listening to the stampede of kids running up and down the stairwells as they excitedly switch positions from crafts to sports and games. They have already had their first bible lesson, and learned some new songs, and when they finish their current class, they will begin their English lesson.

It is weird to be "sitting" here. I haven't done much sitting here. But I have sweated much, cried some, worked long long weeks and months every summer, while we built this place one step at a time. Watched and loved team after team come through here and work their vacations for free and even pay for the materials we used at each step. Remembering the many mornings that Pastor Sasho and I stood together, in misery because we did not have another single denar (penny) between us and we had no idea where the next one might come from . . . and then later that morning see God supply everything we could possibly use that day.

Experienced tragedy here, a collapsing deep trench, two friends dead, the worst kind of accident, no one really at fault, while all of us feel that we are in some manner. It changed us all. Nothing has been the same since. Some things better (more clarity) some things worse (court case and such). But here the building stands, and it is full of children from the neighborhood, having a grand time, learning about English, Jesus and and themselves. The place is alive and being used. This moment is worth much. The very best kind of chaos in the whole world.

Unimaginable

Seth Godin keeps me honest. I like that about him, because he asks the most difficult questions and I rarely have the answers his questions demand. That is a powerfully good value to provide in anyone's life. Today he asks in his blog, "How do we do something so difficult that others can't imagine doing it?" is a fine question to ask today."

What a great/frustrating question! Instead of the easy, the natural, the apparent, what am I capable of that is difficult, beyond the range and scope of others, so difficult that others can't even imagine doing it? That is a stop and think deeply sort of question. It demands an answer. And if we can't answer it this very day, then it demands that we chew on it and wrestle with it, until we can . . . at the very very least start moving in a direction where we can answer it.

To do less is to be average (in all the wrong ways) and remain with the 95% who fail to capitalize on all that they could and should become with this one precious life that they have been given.

Sinister shopping

There is something sinister about what marketing believes are the values of 50 year olds. Since my brother will be turning 50 this Friday, I started shopping for a gift for him. I am thrilled that he is hitting this landmark epic birthday. It seems to me that this is a celebration worthy of something significant and something weighty and substantial.

But shopping for a gift for a 50 year old is terrifying. When you go to search "birthday gifts for 50 year old men" the results are so asinine that you use words like "terrifying" and I can think of a few other ones as well. Jewelry??  Really? Golf seems to be another big theme. Beer another BIG theme, along with wine and coffee options. Coolers and music and official "stocks" like for Ford or Harley Davidson were in abundance. The one and only gift out of the 100's of suggestions that I could even consider for my brother was a reprint of the New York Times front page of the day of your birth - that was a historical marker of sorts - it seems to have the appropriate weight for such a epic birthday.

The shallowness of the other suggestions was a very telling story about our culture and values . . . not to mention an assessment of the significance (actually the lack of significance!) that turning 50 has in North America. Now perhaps this is just me, or perhaps it is my twisted and warped perspective after living abroad for the last 20 years. But it seems to me that a person should have more substance to life after 50 years, than gourmet caramel popcorn.

What I do

It is difficult to explain what I do for work. That is rooted in the lack of a single concrete definition of the situations clients face. Essentially I am a curator of applied information. It requires the same processes we all need to solve the problems and challenges in this world. Greg Mckeown describes the process like this: getting to the essence (of whatever) takes a deep understanding of the topic (this sometimes means you have to work long and hard to gain this understanding), and it's context (this often requires your physical presence) and it's fit into the bigger picture and how it relates to bigger fields of study or knowledge. This is different client to client and therein lies the difficulty of explaining it in simple concrete terms.

As you apply these practices to the operational or developmental challenges, you (hopefully) can see the patterns and the obstacles that prevent progress or success. This in a nutshell is what I do for my clients day in and day out. It is immensely satisfying to see someone leap the hurdles preventing them from having powerful success!

If you don't prioritize your life, someone else will - Greg Mckeown

There he was, drunk in the middle of the day, whiskey soaked, brain turned to mush, until security came and removed him from the smoking terrace. Until security got here though, he kept trying to light my cigar, and I was afraid that he was going to set my beard on fire! The two Turkish airline pilots that I was sharing a table with, found him to be hysterical. Believe it or not, speaking Russian to problem-makers like this works wonders. No one seems to want to talk to Russian speaking guys with cigars! Of course the trick is to never let on that you ever understand a single word of English - something we have perfected over the years. 

From a leadership/personal development point of view, it was super sad to see a young affluent person (there are no beggars in an airport) to be completely under the influence of alcohol so early in the day. Of course it is sad at a certain level to ever see anyone in the grip of alcohol like that at any time. 

Over-consumption of alcohol and loss of control are synonyms. In the same way a lack of prioritization in your life and loss of control are synonyms. As Greg Mckeown states in his book "Existentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less" if I don't prioritize my life someone else will, they will fill my life with tasks and responsibilities and work and so much to do that my priorities will never come to fruition.

So the task of everyone of us who aspires to reach our goals, objectives, plans, to experience all of the impact we could possibly make on this world, is to take charge of our lives, determine our paths, pursue those objectives relentlessly, be an adult, be responsible for our actions.