Last night was a total disaster. Everything that could go wrong did. Even worse than you can imagine, everything was completely horrible. And it did not bother me too much at all. Much to my colleagues surprise, I did not get upset, frustrated, bent out of shape, angry, or emotional. While it was mildly irritating that so much could happen wrong (that was preventable), it did not affect me all that much. I simply was relaxed and enjoyed each person and each moment.
What was the difference? Only this; I was not responsible for the outcomes. That changed everything. Everything! When you are responsible for the outcomes, when you have to answer for the results, when the buck stops with you, then the disaster unfolding around you takes on terrifying purportions. You can see all the potential failures lurking in every moment and event. You can feel the pressure building around you, and you know that certainty of premonition that comes to every catastrophe. Everything has gone horribly wrong.
But when you know that this is not your responsibility, that you face no penalty for this disaster, when no one can point at you and say, "you failed" then the pressure miraculously disappears. What if we could learn to lead in a groove where we were responsible for the outcomes, yet had the maturity and grace and presence, where our real and actual feelings and reactions were as if we did not? I am not there yet.
