Perhaps the most difficult thing in the whole world is saying no. There are a multitude of reasons this is true. For most people, it just seems so impolite and unaffirming, both of which are socially pricy and emotionally uncomfortable. For others it is societal pressure which keeps them from saying no. They don't feel like they actually can say no, perhaps because of WHO is asking them, maybe a boss, or maybe co-worker who has been helpful in the past, or maybe it is a family member who genuinely needs assistance (even if you are the wrong person to deliver that assistance).
For others it is difficult to say no because of the threat of lost opportunity. I am facing one of those situations myself right now. I have a great opportunity to expand my business. I could have 14 new clients just handed to me! Moreover, lots of leeway and discretion in how I would approach their development and the implementing of that development process with each of them. So on paper, in the abstract, it seems like I really need to scarf this gift up right away and not look too closely at the dental work, right?
Well maybe. It really IS an opportunity. An opportunity to become the irrefutable best at what I do. An opportunity to learn. An opportunity to be a star. An opportunity to sharpen my skills and systems and processes. An opportunity to expand our brand, and extend our reach. It truly is all of those things. But the tricky thing is that each opportunity in life has it's own price.
It seems that many of the leaders I work with have a very difficult time holding the “price” in their mental focus for the very necessary period of time, until, you feel the full weight of that price. Many are blinded so badly by the “opportunity” and all the potentials that it brings, that it appears nearly impossible for them to entertain the real and certain “price”. The price of my 14 new clients is that they are immature train wrecks in many ways - i.e. problems, challenges, high maintenance, etc, etc. The opportunities are not a sure bet, but the “price” is definite.
Saying no is difficult because of the seduction of scale over quality. Saying no is often impossible because of pressures, needs, wants, desires, wishes and the Santa Claus effect, that can only see the opportunity, and can never quite grasp, weigh, consider, think through and have great clarity about the price.
