Cognitive bias and misunderstandings

Cognitive bias and misunderstandings

The missional world can be a really strange one. All of my business clients think so poorly of missions and missionaries that it is embarrassing. Most of the national pastors and national Christians I know and work with, also think so poorly of missionaries and have so many scratch-their-head moments about missional personal, that it makes me want to crawl under a rock many days. While I consistently and creatively paint other possible narratives about these people, the sad truth is that often their low opinions are warranted.

It seems that the missional world is especially afflicted with the Dunning-Kruger effect. I find myself flabbergasted and appalled at how little these recruits and soon to be "missionaries" and new arrivals are rock solid convinced that they can jump on an airplane, and take their American selves to any other place in the world and reproduce whatever in that new context. Immediately. With no actual competence. With no real honest skills. With no language learning. With no training. They are just so effing wonderful, all the world will bow to their mere presence or some other cat flossing fantasy that these people have in their very wrong and terribly screwed up heads.

They over-estimate their intelligence, their ability, their competence, their insight, their wisdom, their ideas, their importance, even their likability to the point where I want to throw up. They underestimate the need to retool, learn, study, underestimate the need for humility and gentleness, underestimate their cultural arrogance, and their ability to be fluid and flexible, their empathy and social graces. I could go on for hours. And hours.

Needless to say, few of them make it beyond their first term thank goodness. That at least puts some boundaries on the damage they can do forever on the ground. The rest of them often end up being what is currently known as "North American based missionaries" which means they live in America for the most part, travel regularly, and create havoc under the guise of do-good-ism. They never hesitate to tell me what I am doing wrong, even though I have lived here for 18 plus years and speak the language and have relational equity that they can not even see nor imagine. You just can't tell these folks anything, because they already know it all.

One year ago today

One year ago today

You left this world. Our new normal without you is really hard sometimes. More shallow and less significant, full of more meaninglessness. Less beautiful and less vibrant, more volatile and more colorless. The pleasures are smaller and have more space between them. The day to day seems more grinding and more pointless. While I would never wish you back here the way you were at the end, I mourn all that we lost that day and since. Grief is not what I expected both more and different and it feels like it will never end. My hope is that you are experiencing the grandest of moments in eternity, no one deserves such a future and present more than you. I wish I had been a better son, a better man, and honestly I am trying to be both now. On this hill in this cemetery on this one year anniversary of your departure, your resting place seems cold and lonely, but that is probably just me missing you. It is so hard to have clarity about how to finish well, and I wish you were here, all of you like you were 10 years ago so I could gain your wisdom once again. This first year without you has been a rollercoaster of emotions, and I think much about all that you gave me along the way, and pray that I can pay it forward nearly as well to my kids, your grandkids and greatgrandkids.

Last year we all gathered at this place to honor you. We sang songs you loved and said words to express how humbled we were to have you in our lives. It was a beautiful November day just like today, and just as empty in other ways. Half of our nucleus of four passed last year, but it seems like 4/5's gone.  I am trying to make a good go of it without you here, what choice do I have? But it takes too much energy. Other grievers just walked over your spot in this hill, unaware of what an amazing person they just passed as they brought a new bouquet for someone just down the hill from you. I hope they find more comfort than I have. 

Digital Nomading

Digital Nomading

I am returning from one of the digital nomad centers of the world, Chiang Mai, Thailand. In fact the AirB&B I was staying at is one of the hotspots and favorite hangouts of such folks. I saw some of them eating breakfast lunch and dinner there. Mind you the food is really good at Food4Thought and if I did not prefer to eat the local fare more, I could easily see myself doing the same. Many people I meet in the world want to do just this type of locationless remote work, but lack the hard skills to pull it off, or perhaps the cajoles. 

First of all "digital" which can mean a number of things. Telecommunications is what this currently means for me, not coding or software creation or blogging or whatever because I don't really understand how to monetize those things, although I certainly could learn. And for the record, I am not sure that sure that telecommunications alone would even qualify me for "digital" as every single person I have met to-date abroad hopscotching from one location to another has/is producing a "digital" product. Whereas I am in the people development business and that is not a digital product. Yet I depend on the internet to fully extend my reach and maximize my engagement with every client regardless of my immediate location on the planet surface. And admittedly I often fantasize about just sitting at this keyboard and producing something tangible that would pay the bills, and then what . . . I already get the best possible interactions with the best possible people in the world, how am I gonna improve on that?? I guess the growing ever stronger introvert in me wants more days of no interactions with anyone?? Not sure that is healthy.

And in case you are wondering about the purpose and point of this particular blog post, there is only free thinking time here, no real point at all. Wondering and thinking and enjoying the feel of the keyboard at 35k feet and letting my brain wander and create and connect loose points into some categories.

I am not a "dude" like all these digital nomaders are either. They are a hard drinking, fast living crowd of high-living ping pong balls. I understand the weight of my presence in a room and in a conversation, but my metrics are fairly different than this crowd. They have the local babes under their arms, a beer in each hand, paying way way too much for temporary humongous condos, and having a pissing contest with all other nomaders about how much money they can make how easily.

I on the other hand, have been married to the babe for 31 plus years, would love to be able to drink all the beer I want without the consequences, choose my destinations based on the face to face conversations I can generate from that location or the needs pulling me to that particular location, live small on purpose but not counting pennies, and am not impressed with material wealth at all really. Money is simply a tool to make things easier better faster. Relationships are life. Having said/wrote all that, I nomad plenty. To the point where I pretty much despise travel period. But I nomad toward relational connections, not internet speeds and cheap locations, because as I stated, I am in the people development business, not the traveling business.

So am I a digital nomad?? Totally. Am I the stereotypical digital nomad? Not at all. I am the much older, grandfatherly version of what most people think of and mean when they said digital nomad. Now its time to go write the book.

Sneezing and coughing on my food

Sneezing and coughing on my food

It's been that kind of week. The guy serving up the food, coughed right on my plate, right onto my food. Now I am not a germaphobe or anything like that, but hell even I can't get past the idea of some bloke coughing on my chow right before I am supposed to sit down and eat it. So that was a wasted $10.  And the same thing happened in Cambodia last month at the breakfast buffet, some dude from India or Bangladesh sneezed right on the buffet, in the fruit section. I don't know about you, but my meal is OVER when this happens and I know it has happened. 

It has been that kind of week, where everyone is metaphorically coughing and sneezing over my food, whether it is the police, the peeps at the ministry of health, or the peeps at the bank, it is like they are all out to get me, which of course I know is ludicrous, but it stills feels that way, when the overall experience with them is so negative. Some days I don't like it here at all. Not to mention that I have no interest whatsoever in chasing down this visa shit at the police, ministry of health and bank to begin with, none at all. Evidently I need to ride my motorcycle or some other mental  health activity!

Today is all you have

Today is all you have

Today was my last day in Asia on this trip. I added two new clients (one on Thailand and one in Myanmar), visited another client in Cambodia, visited some other peeps that don't quite fit into the client category yet I still contribute to their lives in some rich ways, and best of all, hung out and had some great conversations and times with my buddy Jim (who is also my boss in certain contexts :-)!) I am never bored here and I really love the perpetual summer weather, even the rain most days.

But today was the last day and I worked it to the max. I got up at 5:30 even after a late night with my AirB&B host as we were catching and enjoying a fine cigar together, since we had not seen each other in 2 years. Then on the bike and a 3800 foot climb to the peak of the mountain (while listening to an audiobook), then lifted weights, then returned the bike rental (and received another verbal spanking from Mr Tsa), and then grabbed a coffee, and then had my very favorite noodles, and then a quick shower and then a meeting (which resulted in a new client) while packing my bags rapidly and calling a GRAB taxi and headed to the airport for the first of four airports and three flights. 

Today is all you have. I packed just about everything imaginable into this day in the hours available while transitioning to different cities and jumping through all the airport hoops and security and changing airlines and waiting for bags and going through immigration as I am leaving one country and headed to another, and then another. But the place of my body on the planet doesn't determine the quality of the day. It does impact it, but only I have control of how I view what happens throughout the day. This is always a great lesson to remember.

There is nothing more satisfying

There is nothing more satisfying 

There is nothing more satisfying than when you hear a client say, "I need to form a different narrative about this event." The client had been relating a rather negative story of what had happened to him, (and he is not generally a negative person) and when he completed the tale, he then said the magic words that Made. My. Day. Week. Month! When a client hears what you say, sees the value of that wisdom and then starts using it as their own material - that is pure gold in my world. 

This one with JA was the most direct one of this particular trip, but on three other occasions while in Asia, I heard my words being bandied about. Lets be straight here, this is not about me, this is not about being appreciated, this about helping others succeed! It's all about the client, your partner, the person you are committed to helping move forward and thrive!

So if you completely can resonate with what I am saying here, if you can fully embrace not getting the credit or the star light or the big head, if you can give yourself totally to someone else shining and succeeding - have you considered a career in consulting? It can be the sweetest work you ever imagined.

The longest Halloween

The longest Halloween

When I woke up yesterday it was October 31. When I woke up today it was October 31. Such are the experiences of the International traveling sop who changes time zones far far too often. That would be me in case you are wondering. However I am generally thankful for each moment of my life, because first of all I realize how rare my opportunities are compared to the majority of the world and second, because I am enjoying my work more than ever before while ruthlessly practicing living in the immediate present. For someone like me who was formerly the ultimate version of future thinking, future worrying, future everything, this is a major major change for me. I do better at it some days than on other days. Those days (and especially evenings) where I succeed, I feel more complete and sleep far better.

So the longest Halloween was also a great memory. I don't carry any of the bad memories, obsessive theology, or cultural frustrations/joys about Halloween. For the last almost 40 years, it has simply been John's birthday. John being my roommate from college and one of my longest friendships/relationships in the world. And plus, it makes it super easy to remember, in fact almost impossible to forget. So a good long walk down memory lane about such an astonishing person as John, made the longest Halloween a fine day.

Floods headwinds and waiting

Floods headwinds and waiting

It was a disaster from the beginning, or you would think. When I opened the door in the pre-dawn gloom, there was six inches of water lapping at my feet! You know something is wrong when the water is that deep in the main dining room! Someone left the spigot tuned on! No! When I turn it off, the water keeps pouring. Burst pipe. I am here alone. Not my house. No idea where the water main is, and it takes me 30 minutes to realize that I can't fix this (i.e. stop the flow/flood) and call for help.

By now my morning ride is way behind schedule! And I have a full day beyond that scheduled. All you can do on a day like this is pedal harder and make up for lost time. If only it had ended there. So when I finally get on the road, I have a headwind right in my face, slowing me down, holding me back . . . you just keep on pedaling, and face the fact that while it is mentally twice as hard with a headwind, it is only actually slowing you fractionally.

And then with the breakfast break it continues. After crossing three incredibly steep and long mountain ranges, your body needs food! And so I stop at my usual place. Where I usually get my food in less than 10 minutes. Of course not today. 40 minutes later I am finally rolling out there, way way behind schedule. Pedal harder, focus more, keep pedaling.

And the final stretch finally comes into view, the last eight miles of the 56 total. And I hit every single traffic light as RED. All six of them. And now that I am out of the mountains, headwind again. Pedal harder, focus more, keep pedaling. Resilience and consistency and effort go a long long way. I made up almost a hour of time by pedaling harder, focusing more, keep pedaling. Even all these factors that I could not control, only pushed my schedule back by 20 minutes in the end, because of intensifying what I could control. Me. 

We are stronger than we think.

A babe in comparison

The trafficking and rescue operation was really amazing. Things have changed so much there since I was last cleared to visit the facility. This time I actually got to speak with six of the girls, as they shyly practiced their English on me. And since Asian men generally color their hair until they die, they all thought I was older than dirt with all my gray beard and gray hair. I had a good laugh about that, because I feel about as old a dirt much of the time. But compared to what these girls have gone through in their horrible short lives, I am a babe.

Comparison to those who you think are better off, rich, pretty, younger, more carefree, or whatever, is a great joy stealer. But sometimes, comparison to those who are far worse off, can be an excellent gratefulness, thankfulness, appreciation generator. I practice gratefulness each day on purpose, but this was sobering at the realization of how very little suffering I have ever experienced in my life. As if the Khmer Rouge was not enough to destroy Cambodia, then the traffickers, and the sex tourists, and the sex-pats and those who want to hurt and destroy, generate a system of slavery and abuse that affects every level of society. 

While I am thankful for all the privilege of my life, it is not enough. One has to take actions, give ferociously, work tirelessly, and make change happen for the sake of these individual girls, but also for the sake of the world at large too. This is what we get to do. Don't miss your part.

The contrast

It is a hot sweaty 99% humid Siem Reap Cambodia evening. Sitting by the pool having a fine cigar and a Jamisons. It is quiet and peaceful here where I am sitting, but that was not the experience a few moments ago in the night market. Endless offers, requests, propositions, hopes and wishes. Very dangerous for a man walking alone! 

It is difficult thinking about how close to the edge of survival these people are, and how little money was being asked for these proposals. As a friend of my recently remarked, we have never known what it is like to live like this. So close to disaster all the time. Desperate to eat today. To feed the kids a single meal a day.

Makes one despair unless you dig in and resolve to make a difference in this world. That is why I am here. This is what we were made for. This is what we are called to do.

I am being managed!

I am being managed!

It was shocking to discover. Not. Of course I am being managed. Mr Tsa has long been impressed with my abilities to burn through his bike repairs. I stretch chains faster than anyone, destroy front brakes faster than anyone, and log more miles than an antelope. So when I show up at his shop to rent a bike for the month, of course he is gonna manage me. He has 10 years of experience fixing my wear and tear on bikes. 

He started laughing when I showed up today. He said, "even I did not think you would be back for repairs this quick." I mean I have only put 400 measly kilometers on the bike these five days. But he happily told me why I was riding this bike, rather than one of his fancy bikes - he knew he was gonna have to fix it three or four times this month. And now it is as good as new. I mean I can't help it if it rains all the time nor that the mountains are so steep.

This is only one example of me being managed. I could tell you ways that my wife, my dad, my neighbors are all managing me. You are being managed too!

So the question is not if I am being managed, the question that is important is WHY am I being managed?? There are bad reasons for being managed, like you are a problem child, or like you are a bad attitude poisoning everything in your wake, or you horriblize everyone you talk about, or you only see the bad in everything, etc etc.

And there are great reasons for being managed, like I am a stud on a bicycle and yet Mr Tsa needs to make a profit. And reasons like I also bring great value to the lives of my wife, dad and neighbors, and so they manage me to keep things humming along. These are the calculations that we all make in order to keep things in the best possible balance, and to make sure that we raise boundaries against damage to ourselves and those we care about and those we interact with every day.

There are so many possibilities

There are so many possibilities . . . 

It can be paralyzing. It is imperative that we find and groom our best selves - to be more. If we fail to accomplish this, the best of those possibilities will never get sifted, tried, sharpened, experienced, polished, and this needs to happen on my own terms and definitions, not someone else's terms (to raise the bar, not make it more manageable). No whimpering exchange of time and effort for money. This requires far more risk, because I gotta own this.

You have to know your calling, how you can best serve, what you were designed to accomplish, what you are made of, how much grit you may have, where your lasting contribution will be made, what you are compelled to accomplish. This demands you push yourself on a completely new scale. This requires far more risk, because there are no more safety nets (actually they never existed before, but most delude themselves into thinking that there are safety nets around them).

In this VUCA world, remarkable leaders are more sorely needed than ever before. Take the chance, stop living a 9-5 life, and let's go change the world. It will probably take and cost everything, and then you are only at the beginning. But you can't take it with you when you leave this world, so why not die by living the most audacious life possible - life was meant to be spent (Wilson).

If this does not sound like you, or at least the you you want to become, then hit delete, this is not for you. Your possibilities are limited. Your risk is low.

We leave 15 minutes early?!

Anyone who spends as much time as I do, chasing flights and connections around the world, can tell you what a rare rare experience this is, for a flight to leave early. Not on time and not when scheduled, but early. I think this happens to me about once every 100 flights or so in a good year. This is the first time in about 2.5 years that this has happened the best I can recall. Needless to say, this is a huge anomaly. It bodes well for me, if this is the standard that the entire 3.5 week trip entails. I could really use some better than expected, or better than the norms experiences. Too much has been really disappointing in recent weeks.

What makes this early departure so great is that it exceeds my expectations! So few companies do this on a regular basis, that when it happens, it is worth noting and remembering. I regularly experience this with all things Apple, and most things Amazon. That is why they have not only my regular faithful business, but also endless recommendations to others in all my networks about how great they are and have been etc etc.  These recommendations are worth three to four times as much as my personal business transactions with these two businesses.

Apple and Amazon get it. They will work tirelessly to give me "exceed my expectation" experiences. Anything else for them would be a failure. And this is not to say that every product I purchase from Apple has been perfect. Nor is every transaction with Amazon and their market solutions always perfectly satisfying. But they are stellar enough that they are head and shoulders ahead and above anyone else out there. Can't believe that I used to feel this way about Toshiba computers, and then Sony computers, neither of which would I use as a tire chock for my 20 year old Renault today. You would have to pay ME big bucks to summit myself to those experiences again.hu

And why did I recently stop using Holiday Inn affiliate hotel, Candlewood Suites? Because of one horrific gaffe and all the little gaffe's that followed as they tried to "make up" for a huge leadership failure. I had one of the worst experiences ever in a hotel on my trip recently to PA from GA. Repeated calls to the front desk received no actions, finally only a threat to involve the local police and deputy sheriffs got me any relief at 3:36 am. I didn't think I should have to pay for such an experience, but I did - $178.10 worth, of which they eventually refunded me a third, and gave me 10,000 useless points on a less than useless card which I will never be able to take advantage of. And they wrote me a bunch of letters apologizing. But they never once admitted that they cost me a nights sleep, that they cost me business the following day, and that they are responsible for the property and grounds that we all pay them money for, so that we can SLEEP! When 11 pm rolled around it became clear that the party was not going to be stopped by the local employee's, I should have taken responsibility for myself and moved to another hotel, regardless of the cost, because my clients are worth that much and so am I. However I have properly voted after the event, by taking my considerable business account to other hotels, and most importantly telling my networks that you cannot reasonably expect the previous hotel chain to step up and do the right thing for you as the customer.

So an early departure? Exceeding my expectations? Damn right it is important. It is the only way to keep customers in the modern world, and I am far more forgiving than most of my fellow travelers! You can reference this "Good" is not enough - Lead Change Group blog to see my point and my point of reference.

How much things have changed

No Malev Airlines, no Czech Airlines, no MAT airlines, and these three were the primary airlines I would have used each day when we first moved to Macedonia 18+ years ago. They don't even exist any longer. When I flew out today, I flew on Qatar Airlines! And sitting at the gates were four aircraft for Wizz Air (yes that is really their name and no English is not their first language), one Austrian airline plane and then this A320 for Qatar. I am sitting here snacking on warmed mixed nuts and drinking a 15 year old Glenfiddich writing to you on a computer thinner than the old paper books of long ago with a touch screen and a Bluetooth keyboard, neither of which even existed when we first moved to Macedonia (and since I am going to rural Asia and roughing it a bit, I don't even have the nice new iPad Pro with me, but still the tech I do have with me was inconceivable 18 years ago).

That is the most basic summary of the massive world changing difference in air travel out of little old Macedonia in 18 years. Yes air travel is a lot less fun and pleasureable than it was 18 years ago, but many of the changes are for the better. More flying options, far cheaper, and the ability to actually get some awesome work done on a machine that does not even weigh a pound. And granted, this is on good days. Flying on those Wizz Air flights is serious Cattle Class battles ... 

And don't forget that my pilot is British and my cabin crew is Serbian and Macedonian  both schooled in USA Universities. While I may be flying a Muslim Airline, the staff is a great mixture of local and International, and all Western Trained. Having said that, this may be the oldest A320 I have flown on in two decades - no USB ports! No Screens in the back of the seat in front of you. I like it! 

The book I am currently reading "The New Leadership Literacies" says that the changes I am documenting here are nothing compared to the ones that will take place in the next 10 years! It hurts my brain to think about it! I can't wait!

Sleepwalking

I did not miss the irony that this post following the one entitled Rest, is Sleepwalking :-) . . . however . . . 

Too many days I can find myself sleepwalking through life. I don’t want to do this for even one single day ever. When I find that I am drifting along, and it is getting more and more difficult to focus throughout the day, then I am falling into sleepwalking. I am embracing ALL that could possibly be done, rather than focusing on and celebrating that which is most important to be done. I means I gotta resharpen my “no” and eliminate all the noise in life. I cannot do it all. Shouldn’t even try at this stage of my life, because i know far far too well that I can and must do few things well, and the payoff is clarity. No more sleepwalking!

Rest

A much overlooked aspect of PTA and DTA is rest. I am not talking only about the over advertised part sleep plays in this subject, but just rest as a central part of a healthy life. Far too many people start to scratch their heads at this point, because they have no idea what I am talking about. They are so overrevved and overclocked that rest is something no longer remember from their childhoods. 

I am currently on a rest. I am at the beach with all my children and grandchildren and nieces and their kids, as well as my parent, and even my brother's ex-wife! I know I know, that does not sound restful at all. But it is, because I am not emailing, video-conferencing, twittering, facebooking, browsing, studying, reading, or working at all. Instead I am having great conversations with my adult children, telling stories to my grandchildren, getting a tons of hugs, body-surfing the waves (and yes I am so sore I can barely move - priceless) listening to my son howl with laughter (this is something everyone should experience in their lifetime) and listening to the huge roar of the winning team in any particular game, no TV's are on (there are 7 of them in this huge condo), no one is sitting around staring at their phone, ok very little compared to normal, and this my friends is rest. Not to mention the hours of sitting on the balcony watching the storms, sunsets and sunrises while rocking in a chair. This my friends is rest.

Too much

Jon Wortmann writes that we are far far far too . . . everything. Our brains are simply not wired to stay engaged all all all the time. He points out that in the military when someone is on point, they rotate out every half hour, because few people can consistently focus intently for more than 40 minutes at a time without a break.

But most people in the West are living at the ragged edge, and their kids schedules are even worse! And we are constantly available to the entire world with our phones and the internet. We are so drained and focus depleted that we have nothing left. Work and the important things like love, relationships and living get the dregs that might remain. Add our constant movement from one place to another, along with the constant distraction of email, text and YouTube, then, well you get the picture, you live this life.

The problem with our global economy, political uncertainty, and reactive media is that too many of us are living at our edges. We work hard. Our kids’ schedules make us look like our schedules are calm. We play a lot. We travel constantly. We are on our phones frenetically. This means that our brains are always paying attention to something—until they can’t.

It is time to return to a more sane life, to regularly unplug and disconnect and have margin in our lives. This requires us to have a come-to-Jesus intervention in our schedules and expectations. Our mental health and our productivity demand that we do so. Let’s pace ourselves for the long haul, and a haul that produces more than frenetic movement and busyness, which by no one’s calculation is necessarily progress nor accomplishment.

You can read more of what Jon wrote here.

DTA

Those who are well read in the leadership and personal development fields are likely well versed in Greg McKeown and Essentialism - the diligent pursuit of less but better. One of the amazing ideas he espouses is PTA, Protect The Asset, and the asset is you! 

This is a wide ranging idea that covers everyone, no matter what your work, life and circumstances are like. If you have a high stress job that keeps you crippled and overextended, then PTA is the idea of making space and margin in that chaos so that you don’t burn out and and so that you can bring your best self to the work each day. If you have a high freedom job, like I do, then PTA takes a different bent.

As I was talking with a good friend/client today, it occurred to me in the middle of our conversation about PTA and the people we seek to develop, that a different acronym may serve us better - DTA - Develop The Asset, which once again is you and me. This idea came about as we were discussing that the key to successful development of others is development of yourself.

Read that sentence again. It is the crucial fulcrum of development, that I am developing me. This requires all kinds of intentionality and processes. As I wrote in my previous post about the Genuinely Wealthy, freedom to develop myself each day is real wealth. You can’t develop others if you aren’t moving forward yourself.

Genuinely wealthy

There are many many ways to calculate wealth. Most people just count the money. But honestly money does not equal wealth, at least not in my world. I have come to redefine wealth in terms of freedom. “Money pays the bills, but being able to control my own schedule and not miss out on family time is priceless.” That is true wealth in my world and in my understanding.  There are so so many ways to calculate wealth rather than with money alone.

First of all are the benefits that my current life brings me. The best perk is being able to define what I do and with whom and for how long. When I left my previous parent organization, this became one of the defining perks - that I no longer had to work with people I don’t like or care for or who are disgustingly negative with regularity. I get to work with the people that I can argue with yet not lose relationship over things, and that I enjoy. Best Benefits - the time to work out each day and develop myself each day and to invest in me each day. This alone is worth a 50% percent cut in pay, because the value is worth is 200%. Quite the payoff in my opinion.

Even though it is still 94 degrees on the balcony, I get to sit here and think and write and work on stuff that is important to ME. How do you put a price on that kind of stuff? You can’t, because it is more than a number in terms of what it means. I get to go to bed when I choose, I get to get up when I choose, I get to do what I want with whom I want each day, and that is worth more than any amount of money or financial compensation.

The genuinely wealthy don’t measure their lives in a a dollar figure. They measure their lives in advantages and benefits, and in non-monetary kinds of ways every day.

Enamel burning

There is nothing quite like the smell and taste of burning enamel, the kind of enamel that is on your teeth. In America, they numb you up so much that all you can do is vaguely get a small whiff of what is actually occurring in your mouth as they drill on your teeth. But here in Eastern Europe, four cavities filled with no novocain or pain relief of any sort, the smell and taste was keen and sharp. That was a two hour trip to hell today. I left the seat completely soaked and a puddle of stress sweat in my wake today. I had to come home and take a couple of hours to find my equilibrium again. Which included an hour long nap! Which I never do any more! That was probably my first nap in over three years, maybe longer. My neck feels like some hit me with a large hammer, and that I may never recover. I am such a wimp I know, but I totally had to come home and change every single piece of clothing today. These are the few times in my life where I miss North America.