Who we perceive ourselves to be
While having some conversations with my dad this week, he confessed that he was usually one of the last two people chosen at softball or football or whatever at break time while in school. Although I was not usually in those positions, I was also often in the last third to be chosen. Obviously this did not keep us in some kind of psychic prison where we were chosen near the last in our adult lives - we excelled at all that we undertook.
But I wonder often how much of that prison mentality remains? I see in myself and in my dad the willingness to hang on to every injury, mostly mental injuries, where we were chosen last in some fashion. Certainly this was fuel in some ways to have bigger ambitions and competencies than we would have otherwise. But it also left us mentally weak in some key areas. My assessment is that our confidence in our capacities has always suffered a great deal from these school yard experiences.
But we are not powerless or choice-less as adults. We have the power to decide for ourselves. We have the choice to choose ourselves first, and best of all we can choose to believe in ourselves and our abilities. We can choose the competencies that we develop and polish and use. While the metrics of the school yard playground may be weighted toward who can run the fastest or hit the ball the longest distance, those metrics don't matter much in the adult world. Diligence, grit, focus, thinking, and such skills carry the day, and I can choose.
While having some conversations with my dad this week, he confessed that he was usually one of the last two people chosen at softball or football or whatever at break time while in school. Although I was not usually in those positions, I was also often in the last third to be chosen. Obviously this did not keep us in some kind of psychic prison where we were chosen near the last in our adult lives - we excelled at all that we undertook.
But I wonder often how much of that prison mentality remains? I see in myself and in my dad the willingness to hang on to every injury, mostly mental injuries, where we were chosen last in some fashion. Certainly this was fuel in some ways to have bigger ambitions and competencies than we would have otherwise. But it also left us mentally weak in some key areas. My assessment is that our confidence in our capacities has always suffered a great deal from these school yard experiences.
But we are not powerless or choice-less as adults. We have the power to decide for ourselves. We have the choice to choose ourselves first, and best of all we can choose to believe in ourselves and our abilities. We can choose the competencies that we develop and polish and use. While the metrics of the school yard playground may be weighted toward who can run the fastest or hit the ball the longest distance, those metrics don't matter much in the adult world. Diligence, grit, focus, thinking, and such skills carry the day, and I can choose.
