Doing the hardest things

Doing the hardest things

Lots of advice says do the most difficult thing first in the day, to get it accomplished and out of the way. It's the "eat your vegetables first" way of thinking. Well I have long known that I am a "eat your dessert first" kind of guy, so this kind of thinking and approach is not easy for me to do. I have discovered that it is difficult for many of my clients to do also.

It's really hard to have objective clarity about the next correct course of action in many situations. And even when I know what I should do, there are often many emotional non-logical reasons why I don't want to do it even though I know I should. If you never face these emotional quagmires, then you likely are not still fully human.

I was lying in bed, mentally reviewing the last several days, and there was a clear course of action that I should try, even though it may have failed, but an attempt was necessary on a number of levels in order to have integrity in the relationship at the end of the day. But there was all this messy emotional shit obfuscating my will to act and do the right thing.

Not only that, as is often the case, there was a very short window of opportunity, which meant I need to act quickly, or the opportunity was going to pass. So not only am I doing the emotional quicksand dance in my head, but I also have a ticking clock clanging in there! Opportunities don't generally sit around for weeks and weeks at a time. They come and go quickly.

Wisely I mentally gave myself a vicious kick that almost knocked me out of bed, and pushed all the messy emotional stuff to the mental corner, and took action . . . probably mere seconds before my opportunity vanished. I need to succeed more like this one. Too often I fail to act, or hesitate so long, opportunity lost. These are the hardest things to pull the trigger on.

Why - part three

Why - part three

First of all let me state that I am breaking this up into smaller bites, because too many of you are tld'tr people (too long didn't read). And shame on you. On the other hand, I need to speak more concisely and this is helping me do so. 

So "why?" no triage allowed? Because triage allows others to leverage your values and motivations and time and space and capacities and potential and gifts. Triage means that you have said yes too many times, and that guilt and pressure and mental/emotional games can be leveraged against you and your very limited time and energy. Triage means that you have too many choices. Choice is only your friend when you are in the Essentialism Part of your life, when PTA (protecting the asset) is easy and the first priority of each day. When I let my PTA slide then that totally should be the first and brightest RED flag that I am going the wrong direction!

Of course, there are clearly times when that is taken out of your hands, like this 30 hours trip to Asia, takes most of my daily practices away. They simply cannot be done in airports, and inside of airplanes, and while moving 5000 miles across the planet to a new spot. But the minute I land, I am going to the bicycle shop, to get the most important piece of equipment for my PTA, a bike of course. I won't ride it until the following day, because I will be out of my brain with fatigue by that point, but no going to bed, without setting myself up for success the following day.

If I land and instead have to follow everyone else's agendas, plans, needs and wishes, then I am doomed to triage rather than making the impact on this world that only I can make. This is the why. Keep focused. PTA. Essentialism. Make a real difference in the world.

No more triage

No more triage

Part two. So now that I have some time, and I have to confess that I did not MAKE the time, it was hoisted upon me by the airlines, distance, and layovers. However I am not being foolish, I am grabbing the gift that it is, even if I did not make it happen myself - and I should have.

Part of this reclamation of the essentials, my essentialism, is rethinking Mark Manson's book, "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k" because you get into these situations because of guilt and pressure and other people's agendas, not because you are thinking clearly. Manson's book reminds you what to care about, and quantifies how little you CAN care about and actually get something important accomplished. I was a glorified chauffeur and babysitter all week because I was too weak to have clarity and say no.

Oh yeah, you got to own this. No shifting this to anyone else, otherwise you will never have the will or power to escape the clutches of these endless intrusions into the important and significant contributions that you and only you, can make in this world. No more triage! Say no, and continue saying no until the bare essentials remain. Then knock them out of the park! If you are doing triage regularly, then you are doing this wrong. 

Why - part three.

Some time at last

Some time at last

Hopefully this will be a recall of my life, as in getting it back. As in it has belonged to others too long, and hell fire if you even get a thank you. That should teach me, and should have taught me decades ago but that is a blog for another time. Today's blog is about recalling what is Essential in your life, and why that Essentialism is critical to your effectiveness and well-being.

Before we do recalling though, let me say that this is the giving economy. In the famous words of Earl, all you have is what you give away. That being said and stated upfront, let's also make the painful observation that not all gifts bear the same fruits. So I am not suggesting that we give less, but that we give smarter and with more discipline. Quicker to say no, and slower to give our commitment, and in my case for the last two weeks, far far slower!

On to recalling. What is absolutely the most important thing for me to be doing and how do I structure my days to live it out? The more mental triage you find yourself doing as you answer this question, the  deeper you are into giving of yourself unwisely. In my perfect world, there is no triage. The essentials are apparent and all there is to focus on, not 99 other competing agendas and tasks and wish-lists that others foist upon you. Unfortunately the reason I am writing this precise blog is because I have recently gone to the dark side - the unwise side. I had to do mental triage to answer that question. Shame. The leadership consultant who doesn't follow his own advice. Shame.

Next blog - revisit your essentials and restructure so that there is no triage