Hijacked by greed, or incompetence or lack of planning, they are all pretty much the same

Hijacked by greed, or incompetence or lack of planning., they are all pretty much the same

Having just returned from a long trip to Asia, there are always trends and patterns you observe when you spend a good long spell in a new context or culture. One of most frustrating one's I experienced regularly in Asia is getting hijacked when you are already the customer. This one does not happen very often in American (read practically never, except when it comes to the telephone - meaning that I can be standing at the cash register in the Auto Parts store and the phone can interrupt my checkout and "hijack it" completely) and it is rare in Europe as well. We westerners are more ruled by the idea, "a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" kinds of thinking. What I actually have is worth more than potentially what I can get.

Not. In. Asia. Everything is interruptible. This is most frustrating when you are working with a masseuse, and another customer comes in and wants a massage. Instead of simply stating, "I already have a customer and I can be free at such and such a time" they always stop working on your aching muscles and fawn over all the potential new customers walking in the door. This often means I lay there for 10-20 minutes while we all wait for new masseuses to show up! No amount of frantic and urgent phone calls to new masseuses can get them there faster than that it seems. But I am already there laying on the table. I am the sure thing. I tip well. I am the ultimate easy customer! It doesn't matter, the new potentials always override the existing customer.

There is a similar phenomenon in our work here in Eastern Europe, where we have noticed a consistent pattern over these last 19 years. No matter how firmly you are confirmed on their calendars, and no matter how significant the work is that you are proposing to do with them, and no matter how much effort has been spent on the pending meeting/event/plan, a single spontaneous call from anyone can derail the whole damn thing! For us over-organized westerners, these types of hijackings are the ultimate in frustrations.

Whether because of greed, incompetence or lack of planning it does not matter. Whether a matter of culture or social norms it does not matter. Welcome to the rest of the world.

Does your closet have jeans that don't fit?

Does your closet have jeans that don't fit?

Then you likely are not accepting your reality, or your version of you does not match your jean's version of you. People do this all the time. They are waiting for the perfect something to come along and change what fiction they believe about their life. This keeps many in psychic prisons all their lives, rather than living anything remotely resembling the life they want to live, or at the very very least, living the reality that is theirs. 

Folks the only way to change current reality is to first accept it. Stop denying it, stop waiting for something to come along and change it, stop playing the lottery for Pete's sake! This is your one and only life, you had better own it completely, or regret, and tons of it, is both in your immediate present and long term future.

Accepting your reality is like taking your car to the mechanic and getting a proper diagnosis about what is wrong and what can change. If you don't know the actual challenge you (or your engine) is facing, there is not a chance in hell or heaven that dreams and hopes have possibilities.

Facing your reality is truly the first step in owning your piece of the pie that is your life. Until that happens, you are in denial, or blaming someone or some situation, or something for the life you have. Even when you successfully do this, and you must (as do I), this does not mean that struggles and difficulties will cease, but at least then you will know what you really face . . . and get comfortable here, even the best life can be difficult.

I got started on this six years ago when a close friend committed suicide. It was seriously time to face some realities that I was not living the life I was meant to live. I now own all my outcomes, succeed or fail. And all the jeans in my closet fit me.

Forever missed appointments

Forever missed appointments

I am currently sitting here waiting for my noon gig, alone, again. This is actually the fourth time this week that something has gone awry in a schedule mdeeting. In fact, I have had a 100% failure rate so far this week. Hours and hours and hours of waiting, but no actual connects yet. And its Thursday already even!! Monday was a fail, Tuesday was a fail, last night was a fail, and so far today is a fail. No one is really to blame yet, things have been beyond every person's control. How can I be a person who is unfailingly optimistic even when scheduled work is failing. Well . . . try try again.

And surprise surprise here comes half of my noon appointment. Patience, waiting for the important pieces to fall into place. Great meeting! Success!

They are only forever missed appointments if you fail to reschedule and reschedule.

Value creation

Value creation 

The best question I ever discovered to push me to be more is "what value am I providing in this situation?" There is basically an infinite number of things you and I could be doing. Unlimited actions we could be taking. But the important ones are the ones that create value for you, your work, your customer, your organization, your client, your family, your God.

Issac Morehouse says " . . . focus on value creation, no matter how humble." He continues, "You are your best investment. There is no IRA, real estate deal, savings account, or job that will come close to generating the returns you get when you invest in enhancing your own value to yourself and others."

This is the most important contribution we can make. It is the way to do the important, the critical, the significant, the meaningful and the very best gift we can give to ourselves and others. I don't know what you are creating, but as Morehouse said, the best returns are on value creation. You are your best investment ever.

Airplane communications

Airplane communications

This is means bad. I observed that on my two flights today that I might have heard and understood three out of 36 messages over the PA systems. When your communication system and or process is poorly done, or the equipment fails to help you give clear and concise messages, then it is just noise that everyone automatically filters out. The brain is designed that way it seems to me. 

I am paying attention to these matters more nowadays because I have been challenged to tighten up my communications. While I don't use an aircrafts PA system, my tools may be just as poorly implemented. Not only are the voice communications ignored, but also the signs employed on the aircraft because they often are not current. Like the fasten seatbelt sign is still lit even though all the staff are moving around the cabin. While there may be rough flying in the next few minutes, no one believes it because the cabin crew is braving it. I understand there may be different standards and rules of conduct between staff and customers, this particular customer needs to go to the bathroom. But I abhor breaking the rules, especially when I might regret it, even though I probably wouldn't.

Communication has to mean something if you want folks to pay attention and follow along. Communication has to be understandable in order to be viable. Just because you said the words out loud into the PA system and that may free you from some legal liability, it accomplishes nothing, if you can't clear say the words in one of the four or five languages I can follow.                                                                                                                                                                                                   

A cockroach in my grits

A cockroach in my grits

There are weeks in my life that I would rather forget. This week has been one of those in part. In "part", because there have also been some spectacular wonderful moments as well. But overall, it has been a cockroach in my grits. 

I use that particular metaphor because of the spectacular cockroach (if spectacularness is measure in size alone) I saw the morning the whole mess of the week began. 

So I have practiced over and over and over again, changing the narrative, changing the story I am telling myself about what is happening and why and what choices I have about what is happening to me (because in the end that is the only choice we have most times, and it certainly is the only thing we can control - our response), and then I even moved it up a level to changing the lens - not just the story I was telling myself, but moving (metaphorically) into a different seat, a different point of view, a position that varies from the one I think I am stuck in - and still the injuries mounted.

It has spiraled to the point that I am a little wary of even flying these flights today, even though honestly I am not superstitious, . . . really . . . seriously, I am not.

Perhaps all that is left to do is throw the whole lot out and start a fresh batch of grits? If the plane doesn't go down in flames, I think I will. Let's start by counting all the things I can be grateful for . . . and so it begins.

You really took my scissors?

You really took my scissors?

Seriously? I have always experienced that the smaller the airport, the more anal the scrutiny and abuses. Those scissors have literally flown 100's of flights, passed through 100's of security checks, been touched and handled and ultimately passed by 1000's of security personnel in airports all over the entire planet. You were just too damn lazy to even look at them, see their blunt tips, see how impossible they were to use as a weapon. In fact if I _could_ have used them as a weapon I would have stuck them in you somewhere!

Yes I am ripped. Hopefully this is the final, the very last injustice of my "cockroach in my grits" week that I have been having. The hysterically funny thing here (yes I am trying to find humor, solace, a reset button, in all of this), is that I have far far far more dangerous things in my bag, than were my beard scissors.

I have a lighter in my bag, I have a cigar cutter in my bag, I have creams that could blind you in my bag, I have my French press and my coffee grinder in my bag, all of which are more easily weaponized, than are my beard scissors!

Of course I don't have to enter into every fight I am invited to as Joe Callaway famously said, and so I guess my future strategy for world travel will have to be purchasing my beard scissors in bulk, like I do cigar cutters (because those regularly get taken in security checks - that is just the cost of enjoying a cigar). And this trip to Cambodia is just gonna have some wild hairs in it.