Sometimes you just don't want to be where you are today. I know you have had one of “those" days. One of those days where you are glad you can swear in three languages - fluently. One of those days, where your feet are dragging and your heart is flagging and your thoughts are sagging. You make a valiant effort to turn things around and get them moving in the right direction - any direction other than the one you have been headed in the whole day. You step back and think it through and know in your heart that this is a temporary phenomena but you can't seem to convince your soul.
It's one of those days where it seems everyone is nasty and mean without any cause, much less a "just” one. It feeds your negative experience. You are discombobulated and out of whack and just off it seems. The day can't end fast enough. Even a great meal can't assist you in turning the corner…half way through, you just lose your appetite and really don't enjoy the great thing before you, but you eat it anyways, out of habit more than joy.
You attempt a number of “resets” but it isn't happening. You just want to go home, but you don't know where that is any longer, and in my case, I haven't known where that is for decades. There is almost a sense of cosmic mischief afoot, determined to wreck the battle. A long walk to change the speed and pace, and all you get is a headache. Purpose seems to have deserted you completely and you can't remember all the reasons in your heart, for bringing you to this place, for this need, for this very necessary presence, here, right now. Or the price seems unnaturally high for the results.
Thankfully tomorrow is a new opportunity and start. May it be much much better than today.
