Rush

I love the breeze blowing (and sometimes whipping!) through my hair and across my skin.  I love the rush of taking the curves fast and furious. I love carving those big fat S's and hairpin turns. I love the tension of danger, the near possibility of falling is always present and it usually hurts. But the energy given and released in exchange for being on the edge of the board, or the side of the tires, the lip of disaster, is generally a fair transaction. Ok, I am adrenalin junkie. Anything with two wheels or anything with snow and everything pointed downhill and curves!! Let's go!

There is something very powerful in these moments of movement. The controlled risk, the measured danger, the pain of making an error in judgement, all necessary parts of living loud and experiencing something completely other, than sitting at my desk all day. Having fun is an essential part of balance as you integrate life and work. What do you need to do today to get your blood pumping and make your heart jump up into your throat?

(disclaimers: I always wear a helmet in each of these activities. I love the rush, but I take some precautions against utter stupidity, and for the record, my bike helmet and snowboarding helmet have saved me numerous times. Have not tested the motorcycle helmet against the asphalt and hope I never do.)

Moments

There are many moments in life where we can make a difference. But seeing them can often be the challenge. What I mean is that we are so focused on other things, that we miss many of the golden moments that cross our paths. Most of us have been taught to actually do this on purpose, to show how focused and attentive we are to our objectives and goals and how we "get things done."

But activity is not necessarily productivity, especially when productivity includes (demands) that we see and respond to these moments, these opportunities, these events that cross our paths. Busyness is not the goal, making a difference is the goal, changing the world is the goal, doing something meaningful is the goal, far more than how many hours I clock each week. I am not suggesting that we stop working diligently nor reducing our standards to something less than excellence. I am merely observing that punching the clock (for those of you old enough to remember that) does not translate into definite success in terms of making a meaningful difference in the world.

I would suggest that this requires us to cultivate an awareness of God and new ways of "seeing" or observing the world around us. It takes practice to discern what is an opportunity versus what may be simply a distraction - but it is a different kind of "focus" and one well worth every second, so we don't miss any of those God moments and join in with His plan to change and love people.

Positive energy??

While reading an email from a friend today, I had to spend some time thinking through an assessment he made of me. His choice of words messed me up a bit. He said " I am drawn to the positive energy you consistently exude." Those are not words I would typically apply to myself.

Its not that I think I am anti-positive necessarily, but more like I am married to Polly-Anna. In comparision, Brenda would generally make the real Polly-Anna seem like a curmudgeon. Compared to Brenda I am positively negative, and it is a good thing too, because someone needs to balance the universe!

Now perhaps my friend John just works in an office filled with toxic and lethally negative people, but I don't think so. He never complains about work. Ever. And so I had to stop and think a good long while about what he said and why he may have said it. 

In the end I came to only one conclusion . . . he needs to get out more. Haha, just kidding! The conclusion is this, I do make an intentional effort to see the possibilities in each person in my life. Looking for that potential all the time leaves me with very little flaw-gathering time. So perhaps what he sees in me is positive in that it is focused on what could be, rather than what may be lacking today.

What would he say about you and your energy?

Long nights

The long night happens to everyone eventually.  And the longer you lie there awake when you should be/want to be sleeping, the more things you can think of that you should be getting up to do, since you can't sleep afterall. This most often happens to me the second night after arriving at a new location around the globe. Some call it jetlag, I just call it sleeplessness. And irritating.

Its the lack of productivity that makes my mind go faster and faster as I think of all the details/tasks I have missed or failed to complete, and the urgency to just get up grows. It feels like this is lost or wasted time . . . when there is so much demanding my attention. But the reality is this, that getting up is generally a big mistake, because it will just compound the sleeplessness problem the following nights. Lying in bed in the dark is still rest, regardless of how it feels. But that overpowering feeling of unproductiveness . . .

. . . is simply wrong too, because the busier you are, the dumber you may be.  You must resist this lie the most in the modern age, perhaps more than most others, because overclocked schedules keep us from not only not resting well, but from thinking clearly, and of course since I slept so little last night, my thinking processes are even more slowed today. So I must give myself more space and margin today in order to break the cycle of unproductivity tomorrow.

I know that sounds counter-intuitive, and so does my suggestion here, but you have to just relax and live in the moment of the long night. Otherwise it may become a pattern, and that would actually be a real problem.

Hanging by a thread?

Imagine my surprise today when ropes started flying across my balcony, quickly followed by two men with five gallon buckets, all on the 12th floor!! They redefined for me what it means to be hanging by a thread! Now for some folks, they may consider painting buildings while hanging from a single rope, to be the best jobs in the world. While the majority of us may think, "what desperation drove these men to take such risks every day?"

But it won't take you very long to think of times when you have backed yourself into a corner which led to you taking big risks for low rewards. Most of us have been in this spot in our lives. Even though we are not Burmese laborers working for sub-par wages in Thailand, we still have woke up to find ourselves hanging by a thread, emotionally, financially, vocationally, spiritually (hopefully not physically like these guys!). It is a horrible place to be, yet, in some way it quantifies the non-hanging by a thread moments and events.

So my challenge to you (and of course myself) is to accurately assess where you are today, compared to, one of those hanging by a thread times in life. 

Suddenly my day just got a lot brighter and better.

One of THESE days!

Sometimes you can't believe that you get to be where you are today! Since yesterday was “sometimes you don't want to be where you are” day, it is fitting to have a follow up day to the contrary. Honestly this is my more normal day, where the world is tilted correctly and most things happen in a predictable manner that allows planning, thinking and building something important.

Today was one of “these” days. Even sick, this day is about 1000 times better than yesterday. What objectively changed? Really nothing at all…at least that is measurable or visible. In fact, it rained most of the day! So it wasn't the weather. I am in fact, sick and sitting on…er…the throne, or at least not getting far from it (like six steps is the limit). So what is the difference, that even an Asian bug can't falter? What is better today than yesterday? No resets needed, no change of scenery or pace to get things moving in the right direction. What is different?

Only small things, and that is both wonderful and horrible. Perspective that happened mentally yesterday, but never made it to the feeling level, was just right today, the feeling and thinking were in sync. Sleep was better last night, the exercise today about the same. Food was just as good. Weather was worse. Physically I felt much better today, well until about an hour ago when Matsuma's revenge attacked. Like I said, very small, little things. The great news is that it doesn't really take too much to have a much better day. The horrible news is that it doesn't really take too much to have a much worse day.

It seems to me that I am, or should be, much much much much more resilient than that. To think that so little could swing the pendulum so far. In fact, if you had asked me two days ago, I would have told you that I was indeed, much much much too resilient to be swung by so little in either direction. But evidently I am not, at least not on these two particular days.

One of those days

Sometimes you just don't want to be where you are today. I know you have had one of “those" days. One of those days where you are glad you can swear in three languages - fluently. One of those days, where your feet are dragging and your heart is flagging and your thoughts are sagging. You make a valiant effort to turn things around and get them moving in the right direction - any direction other than the one you have been headed in the whole day. You step back and think it through and know in your heart that this is a temporary phenomena but you can't seem to convince your soul.

It's one of those days where it seems everyone is nasty and mean without any cause, much less a "just” one. It feeds your negative experience. You are discombobulated and out of whack and just off it seems. The day can't end fast enough. Even a great meal can't assist you in turning the corner…half way through, you just lose your appetite and really don't enjoy the great thing before you, but you eat it anyways, out of habit more than joy.

You attempt a number of “resets” but it isn't happening. You just want to go home, but you don't know where that is any longer, and in my case, I haven't known where that is for decades. There is almost a sense of cosmic mischief afoot, determined to wreck the battle. A long walk to change the speed and pace, and all you get is a headache. Purpose seems to have deserted you completely and you can't remember all the reasons in your heart, for bringing you to this place, for this need, for this very necessary presence, here, right now. Or the price seems unnaturally high for the results.

Thankfully tomorrow is a new opportunity and start. May it be much much better than today.

Role changes

There are many roles that a person plays over the course of their lives. One that I never envisioned for myself is caretaker … of people that I love. It started about eight years ago when my wife suddenly and unexpectedly started having seizures, as a result of the epilepsy that we never knew she had. Of course unless you grow up wanting and expecting to take care of people as a vocation, you never will anticipate this role sneaking up on you. (since then, my brother and my mother have joined in the need to have some caretaking - my role expands)

Now let me make it abundantly clear, my wife is no wilting violet, hypochondriac, in no way does she ever live a “poor pitiful me” attitude in life. But there have been a number of moments in the last eight years where she is utterly dependent on help to even get dressed or showered or out of bed in the morning. Something neither of us ever could have imagined when we got married over 27 years ago. Something that neither of us would have believed could happen to us. But it did and it does. And now I am going through severe back pain in a chronic ongoing pattern that is both incredibly painful and very worrying, and I need a caretaker!

So we find ourselves at another one of those moments, recent surgeries keeping her immobile, as much as she hates any kind of perceived weakness in herself and as much as she detests having me (or anyone) help her. The result is that I cook by proxy sometimes - another unimaginable role that I can do now with aplomb. Cooking by proxy entails Brenda telling me what to do from whatever prone position she finds herself forced to remain in, while I make jokes and behave badly in the kitchen. Thus it takes two of us to make a simple cobbler, one that a small child could have done. But we did it together … in roles that we could not have imagined just a short while ago … and we had some good laughs along the way. Perhaps these role changes are not as bad as they seem? Perhaps this is the way to really grow and develop, by being forced to do so? Hmmmmm . . . 

Focus

Where are you focused? And what do you see there? Call it vision, call it foresight, call it prophecy. Or it could be more concrete, like my current scenery. Here is what I am looking at, now, at this very moment of writing.

Some would say that I am focused on a huge mountain range, some might say that I am focused on how small I am in comparison. But actually I am focused on you - my surroundings are just giving me scale to think, scale to be inspired, to see what I could not with a lesser vista.

So what are you focused on? The immediate? Depending on the task or need, it can be most excellent and most productive to be fully immersed in the now, in deep work, in the current, in the present, in the urgent. Or are you focused on the end game, the future, the result? How well can you see it? Can you sense it vaguely, or is it a sharp and persistent vision? Can you envision what it can be, what it will be, how it will take place, the steps to get there, to experience it, to bring it to fruition?

Focus has at least two parts, and maybe more depending, the first part is understanding WHAT you should be focused on - the timing of your focus, now, mid and future - and the second part is WHAT you see, the product, the sermon, the content, the competency, the skill, the reality out there … eventually. I could focus on the vista in front of me, the cool slight breeze on my face, the sun peeking through the clouds, the ambience of this mountain side cafe, the smell of the fresh air, the sounds of the birds chattering. Or I could be focused on you, what you are facing, what you are challenged by, what you need, your dreams, your goals, your hopes - fueled and scaled and inspired by all that is immediately present around me.