The flow of life, making it matter

There is a flow to life on the road that is very different than the flow of life when you are largely stationary in one location most of the time. The flow to life on the road is filled with hurry up and wait. Starts and stops. Standing sitting or walking are determined by the mode of transportation or the limitations of your transportation. Most of your choices are punted away in favor of getting from A to B in the most timely or cost effective way possible. It takes a different attitude to navigate this flow on the road with finesse and panache. This attitude is one of delicate anticipation of all the variables that travel can throw at you whether on the open highway, or in the airport or at the train station. The more Western or rich Asian your situation, the more dependable or predictable the variables. The more Eastern, poor Asian or Slavic the situation, the less predictable the variables in my opinion. But you have to keep a good attitude and know that no matter what happens, it makes sense to someone, or it wouldn't be happening. Now whether or not it makes sense to YOU is another story altogether.

The flow of life at home or a long term stationary point is completely different. You are far less vulnerable to the whims and arcane rules and ideas of someone else. You can set your own schedule and expectations. You can make choices that are impossible if you are on the road. You can predict with a high degree of certain events and schedules and expectations coming your way. A calendar is even possible!

But regardless of which life you find yourself in at the moment, it is your one and only life. Live it well, create, build, shape and design. Make a life that is worth living! Make the best of your flow!

What do you really want?

This is the number one question young leaders fail (and unfortunately a large number of older leaders as well) to answer with clarity. I have recently started asking myself this question each time a significant leadership decision comes up in my life. If I fail to know exactly what I want (to happen, to accomplish, which outcomes I am striving for, what end result is needed) then I am doomed to get something … else.

Leadership moves fast in this present world and we all want answers and direction. But if I fail to answer this question with some depth, then I can't move on to appropriate action. There is only so much each person can know and have experience to address and respond with, so we need the right coaches and mentors and peers around us to help us find solutions. If we fail to answer this question though, we can't move forward effectively.

If a leader doesn't know the answer to this question they will likely (unwittingly and without any malice) use people rather than serve them suitably. They will find themselves needing people rather than leading people. Of course there are layers and layers to every challenge and every situation and no, you don't have to know the answers all up front. Yet without some real energy being applied to solid discovery of what you want, you will find yourself floundering more and more.

So what do you REALLY want? Think about it ... now.

Traveling with Jim

There are huge opportunities in my line of work. I get to meet amazing people in interesting places doing life-changing work. This weekend was a perfect example of the beautiful synergy that can happen.

I met up with the Asia Regional Director while he was traveling through Thailand, on his way to Cambodia. He asked, and I decided to join him on this trip.

I got more accomplished in two hours at the airport with Jim, than most people do in a whole day. No crap. No bullshit. No posturing. No Politics. No spiritual-speak (the use of spiritual sounding phrases to impress the hearer of one's spiritual stature). Just great content, succinct, powerful, clear, impressive, better, easier, more. There are not enough adjectives to describe the great gift of thinking he has. And, according to him, I delivered everything I said I would and more. Death to bad meetings! Long live life-giving exchanges!! You should always employ my basic cornerstone of work/business/productivity  "under promise, over deliver." It has served well for decades now.

Here in Cambodia, the synergy continued. I would be hard pressed to recall a more productive weekend. What a roll! Evidently I need to travel more often with people who spark my imagination in all the right ways. The power of possibilities!

In the International Church smoking lounge?

Is that even a valid phrase in the anti-smoking world Americans live in? Yes. It is. There is a whole world alive here, an unreached people group if you please. Where Christ followers never (well ok, rarely) venture.

I am starting to think that I should start a new church, of the tobacco addicted, of those enslaved by the moments of tutun (the Macedonian word) clarity and pleasure, those involved in the minutes of hazy smoke-filled clouds of bliss. Where pilots and doctors and janitors and leadership gurus and jazz musicians and the welfare class share bad air together in complete nicotine equality.

Yes I am convinced that this is a un-reached people group, not pinned in by the 10/40 window as much as they are Marlboro and Camels and Galoussies.

This room of smokers is the most crowded room in the entire huge Istanbul airport! They are a homogenous group of weak individuals, who willingly and helplessly bow down to a compelling desire. Who better to experience the freedom of life in Christ? Who better to acknowledge their inability to do so without supernatural help?

They are a microsm of weaknesses we all face. They are us. Albeit a smelly smoky version of us. What an intriguing study of cultural anthropology! It is an international church with representatives from every European country, every African nation, every Asian country and every state! I have thought about targeting smokers as  a people group, much as I have tourists in Asia, and sex-pats (versus ex-pats) in Southeast Asia as those who need Christ as much as I do. Who is within your reach?

Raising the bars 2

“But frankly, none of us have the time we need.” I read this quote recently and found it very intriguing. I thought it went well in some ways with my previous post. It reflects the way the entrepreneurial world/business world is highly driven, over-scheduled, over-clocked, and believe it or not I am coming to the conclusion that the majority of Westerners do this, not just the C-suite executives . . . because we believe none of us have the time we need. We admire people who are workaholics, who sacrifice and succeed, regardless the price.

The article went on and explained WHY we are often this way, “the rewards of work are immediate, and the rewards of life accrue more slowly. (To some parents of teenagers, these rewards may seem practically glacial.) It becomes tempting to reserve the best of ourselves for the short-term gains of work and “automate” the long game of life.”

I did this for years myself, and mostly (85%) I regret it. Yes it brought me where I am today, quicker than I could have arrived by valuing the rewards of life (the moment, my awesome wife, my amazing kids, my incredible parents, etc) accruing each day, than the immediate rewards of work, production, execution, competencies, education, and a paycheck. This proper balance is so incredibly difficult to find when you are in the middle of living it!

The key life moments and the key work moments seems to come at precisely the same time, at the very front end of your working and childrearing cycles of life. For men at least, the pressure and temptation to undervalue the childrearing and relationships, over the work dilligence needed to make some progress toward those types of goals, is huge. But whoever reaches the later stages of life and wish that they had worked more?? Don't get me wrong, I enjoy my work, really I do, even though it is work :-). But my family and relationships bring me far more pure joy . . . and work, while often satisfying, just can't compete in the long run.

I would still argue that we need to raise the bar, increase our skills and competencies and capacities, but perhaps we need to measure the costs differently and with great care.

(These quotes I used here came from the blog, “Should You Automate Your Life So that You Can Work Harder?”by SARAH GREEN)

Raising the bars?

There are levels to every competency, whether that be intellect, physical, spiritual or hard skills. Most people get into a good groove of ability and they market that or maximize it to to a point of good functionality or ability. They find what works and they stay with it.

The problem is that what works in today's context likely won't be enough to suffice for tomorrow's demands, or you will discover that it is not enough to take you forward to where you find you need to go next, or you aren't getting the results that you want.

There are a number of factors that affect your plans to move ahead to the next level. Age is a big factor. This can adversely affect physical or intellectual skills. Moving up can be hampered greatly by age if you increase or want/need to accelerate your physical exercise or intellectual pursuits like language acquisition or scholarly studies. I recently pushed myself to ride more and eat less, and I was shocked to discover how slowly I could improve without doing injury to myself! And language learning is another area where I find it much more difficult to memorize and retain new words and grammar constructs, than I did 20 years ago.

But other things can be easier with age such as spiritual or hard skills. Experience can be a big asset in these pursuits. In fact it can be the totally-give-you-the-upper-hand asset in hard skills and in spiritual matters. You know what you know at this stage/age and the beauty of that is that you have honed down what works and what doesn't, what is needed and what is not, where progress can be made, where the pressure points are, where success can be found. Much more is known, far less unknown . . . now if you only won't allow these advantages blind you to the fact that you still have to learn . . . 

Context can be another big factor, and I would include timing, location, assignment, capacity, desire, family, cycle of life, resourcing and mobility under this heading (at the very least. There may be more factors that I have missed). This is a framing factor. I think of it as more as a structure than a limiting or enabling factor. It just is. If you are a missionary in South East Asia, you can't sell cars in Boise. Of course one of the beautiful things happening in the modern world is that these structure/context framings are stretching. Life is becoming more configurable than ever before. Reach and mobility have changed most equations. If you want to elevate your game, this one requires some diligent effort. I put about seven years of effort into this point before making my big jump away from my former parent group (of 23 years). Dilligent effort. Opportunity does not equal wisdom . . . 

 . . . though I would classify opportunity as the third most important factor in taking your efforts to the next level. Opportunity often feels like risk, and the risk-averse will have more difficulty in seeing the opportunity. What could you do, if failure were not possible, if resourcing were not a constraint, if dreams drove you?

I would like to say, that all you hope for is potentially there, is possibly possible, maybe might be, for the person who can see the steps, take them one at a time, and stay the course. Remember dilligent effort? It applies all across the board. It is the most consistent factor missing in those I work with who want to make big jumps in their abilities. You CAN do this, but you probably will have to work at it. Time plus proximity does not equal aquisition.

52 years old today

Today is my 52nd birthday. I am pretty sure that I spent it like few would choose to spend their 52nd birthday, but there is a method to my madness, but you just may want to have me committed to an insane asylum. Today marks my third consecutive (almost) birthday in Thailand, sweating profusely. I like to sweat, for I am convinced that it is one of the primary reasons I have zero blood pressure problems here in Asia, whereas in Europe and the USA, I have to take medication to keep things under control. Here I just sweat, and sweat and  . . . well you get the idea.

But I am not here to sweat, I am here to work in part (since I have such excellent locationless work, place is relative workwise) but more importantly to be with my brother, who has advanced cirrhosis of the liver due to an incredible commitment to beer in vast quantities, every day, for years. Until he was so direly diagnosised 2.5 years ago, we had spent little time together as adults. We are both enjoying the process of making some adult memories and sharing our lives together, even if it is more than a little late. There is a lesson in this for you too.

But we were actually discussing birthdays. So I spent birthdays 50, almost 51 and today number 52 here in Thailand. On number 50 I struggled to bicycle 16 miles. On number (10 days before my birthday) 51 I handled 26 mountainous miles fairly well. Today I did a very mountainous 54 mile circle and I feel really good! As you can see, I am making birthday progress, of a sort. At mile 36 I stopped at a roadside cafe and had an excellent breakfast of super spicy fish and rice (well I AM in Asia). Then when I returned to Chiang Mai, I showered and did a load of laundry (a never ending task where you sweat and sweat), and then I went and treated myself to a one hour massage to work out some of the kinks to a 52 year old body that biked 54 miles.

No email or work today . . . instead I am concentrating on all the things I am thankful for, blessed by, gifted with, and the opportunities that I have that I never thought possible when I was a chicken farmer's son growing up in rural GA. With some careful thought, it becomes apparent that I have been given some magical moments, turns, twists, chances, and offers. I am looking more to what the future holds than what the past has given. I am wallowing in the pleasure of the moment, today, this my 52nd birthday.  Its gonna be a great year!

Thinking space

Thinking space is hard to come by. It is rarely quiet enough to dig into the hard work of thinking. I am not talking about silence, though that too has an important role to play in our lives, but quiet enough to think. Wanting to think and planning to think is not the problem for many of us, it is much more how loud our environments are, the noise of life around us, the almost inescapable constant grind of traffic and construction, at least in the cities that I live in around the world.

This morning I decided to do an exercise experiment. There is a mountain cafe about 2 miles further along from my normal turnaround on my morning bike ride. I decided to pack up some working gear and ride with a small backpack on to this cafe. I decided to order a coffee, sit on the balcony that overlooks several ranges, enjoy a completely different ambience. Wait and soak, wait and listen, permeate my brain cells with less bombardment, feel the breeze less polluted by smog and noise, to actually be able to hear the birds sing, be surrounded by trees instead of asphalt.

The difference was astounding! No jackhammers, no shrill saws cutting pipes, no cement trucks racing their engines, little traffic, no one hammering in the room next door, no telephones ringing, no racing motorcycles, no crowds of people all talking on their phones, no loud music playing, no taxis honking their horns, no shouting vendors on the street. It wasn't silent, but the sounds were much calmer, more nature could be heard, much more soothing and relaxing and the thoughts began to flow, coalesce, take form, make new connections - thinking! Not just doing a mental to-do list in my head, but actual real honest thinking. And the coffee was great too.

What experiment do you need to do to find a thinking zone? I had to pretty much restructure the first half of my day in order to pull this off. It is not something that is practical to do everyday. But if you don't try, then you are sure to fail to find a place of creativity, rejuvenation and new possibilities.

Sacrificing for someone else?

When do you sacrifice for someone else's success? This is a trickier question than you might think. Most leader-want-to-be's are pretty good about sacrificing for someone else's success . . . as long as they can see the ROI eventually, in some manner, benefiting them. Even if that eventually is still a long ways down the road. Even if that potential benefit is small, they can still do it regularly.

It is when there is no "eventually" that separates the men from the boys, so to speak. If fact I would challenge you to think carefully, and see how many investments in people you have made, that can not ever bring some benefit back to your door, ever. Hell I am in the "helping others succeed" business and I am hard pressed, very very hard pressed to find more than a few. 

Sure I find deep pleasure in seeing others succeed, really I do! But hidden inside all of those "helping others succeed" human transactions that take place in my life, there is also some reciprocation, some advantage, something I get in return, even if it is eventually.  Frankly that ruins my altruism. It wrecks my perceptions of how generous I am. It destroys my sense of largess. It displays how shallow my good goes. At the end of the day, it reveals my utter selfishness.

This was brought to light in my life today, when I could find no happiness, no pleasure inside of me, for the success of another. Her success cost me, and there is no eventual benefit for me. I had to pay the price, receive less, be patient, be generous, wait, make allowances, spend my time, change my plans, thwart my goal, in order for her to succeed - and there is no eventual benefit for me. And I don't like it all. And that shows my smallness: as a man, as a Christ-follower, as a leader.

Unusual compression, more of the present?

The coffee was surprisingly great. Not my typical experience on a plane. The steward told me that it was a new Columbian blend they were trying from South Africa. I told him flat out it was a keeper! I had four wonderful cups to prove my point!

But I skipped the history that brought me to this place. Age has given me a number of gifts, two of the more unusual ones are that I can now sleep on airplanes and I rarely experience dreaded jet-lag. I attribute these two gifts to age, as surely it could not be that I am changing time zones so frequently that my body has given up jet-lag?

So after two intense hours of work, interrupted only by a flabbergasted stewardess who simply couldn't believe I did not want to eat dinner, although she couldn't know that I rarely eat food served on airplanes, and after four hours of relatively good sleep – I was ready for coffee.

Typically I slurp down a cup or two, just to hold me until I can get off the flight and get ahold of some real coffee. Today I might skip that ritual altogether, as I sit here contentedly (did I just use that word on an airplane??) sipping a very hot tasty brew and jotting down these thoughts on my iPad as my brain is waking up.

Everything can be more intense on a trans-ocean flight. It is like time and work and thinking and food and the air in the cabin is compressed into a more intense experience than a normal day. Perhaps it is as simple as sitting in a space designed for children rather than adults for hours on end, but even the waiting is compressed and each moment can seem to take several hours depending on your state of mind (on the other hand, the flight West took 10 hours and 30 minutes, this one East only took 7 hours and 15 minutes!). I mean compressed in the sense of MORE rather than in the sense of SHORTER.

Dr. Marshal Goldsmith, an excellent leadership guru of high caliber, started me down this path a number of years back. He travels far far more than me (I shudder at the thought!), and he advocates that the best way to travel and make it as productive and painless as possible, is to live in the moment only. Not as my lovely bride does, bouncing mentally back and forth the entire flight between the time zone she left and the time zone she is heading toward - but the moment. Perhaps this is why everything seems MORE? Perhaps this unusual compression is fostered by living in the present moment, no more, no less.

Clarity of purpose . . . at a price

There are all different kinds of clarity needed in life, but clarity of purpose may outrank them all. Surprisingly, pain can actually bring some significant clarity of purpose.

I recently went through round three of excruciating back pain – all three were very different – except for the pain part and the excruciating part. At least in this third round I could sit without dying, but walking? It very well may kill me.

So what do you do when hurting physically? You probably will think me completely crazy, but in my family, we pretty much do whatever we would do if we weren't hurting at all. I mean, it is gonna hurt no matter where you are and no matter what you do, right? Just as well work.

And that is what I did. I remember sitting on my second flight of the day, heading to Berlin for three days of intensive work. But this hurt so badly those last 24 hours, that I seriously considered just tossing the whole trip into the garbage can and bailing out. All that money, all that planning, all those irretrievable moments - down the tube. Lost. But I couldn't do it. Because of clarity.

The clarity I had of the possibilities of what might be, what could happen, what potentials exist to change the world, all of that was at stake. And it is gonna hurt no matter what, right? Some of you might suggest that I over-estimated the importance of my trip, or suggest that I didn't really hurt that badly, but you would be wrong, on both counts. It is clarity about the importance of what I do, and the limits of what I can't, that put me on that plane that day, and through the agony of the next three days walking in Berlin. Clarity! Purpose! Meaning!

Rush

I love the breeze blowing (and sometimes whipping!) through my hair and across my skin.  I love the rush of taking the curves fast and furious. I love carving those big fat S's and hairpin turns. I love the tension of danger, the near possibility of falling is always present and it usually hurts. But the energy given and released in exchange for being on the edge of the board, or the side of the tires, the lip of disaster, is generally a fair transaction. Ok, I am adrenalin junkie. Anything with two wheels or anything with snow and everything pointed downhill and curves!! Let's go!

There is something very powerful in these moments of movement. The controlled risk, the measured danger, the pain of making an error in judgement, all necessary parts of living loud and experiencing something completely other, than sitting at my desk all day. Having fun is an essential part of balance as you integrate life and work. What do you need to do today to get your blood pumping and make your heart jump up into your throat?

(disclaimers: I always wear a helmet in each of these activities. I love the rush, but I take some precautions against utter stupidity, and for the record, my bike helmet and snowboarding helmet have saved me numerous times. Have not tested the motorcycle helmet against the asphalt and hope I never do.)

Moments

There are many moments in life where we can make a difference. But seeing them can often be the challenge. What I mean is that we are so focused on other things, that we miss many of the golden moments that cross our paths. Most of us have been taught to actually do this on purpose, to show how focused and attentive we are to our objectives and goals and how we "get things done."

But activity is not necessarily productivity, especially when productivity includes (demands) that we see and respond to these moments, these opportunities, these events that cross our paths. Busyness is not the goal, making a difference is the goal, changing the world is the goal, doing something meaningful is the goal, far more than how many hours I clock each week. I am not suggesting that we stop working diligently nor reducing our standards to something less than excellence. I am merely observing that punching the clock (for those of you old enough to remember that) does not translate into definite success in terms of making a meaningful difference in the world.

I would suggest that this requires us to cultivate an awareness of God and new ways of "seeing" or observing the world around us. It takes practice to discern what is an opportunity versus what may be simply a distraction - but it is a different kind of "focus" and one well worth every second, so we don't miss any of those God moments and join in with His plan to change and love people.

Positive energy??

While reading an email from a friend today, I had to spend some time thinking through an assessment he made of me. His choice of words messed me up a bit. He said " I am drawn to the positive energy you consistently exude." Those are not words I would typically apply to myself.

Its not that I think I am anti-positive necessarily, but more like I am married to Polly-Anna. In comparision, Brenda would generally make the real Polly-Anna seem like a curmudgeon. Compared to Brenda I am positively negative, and it is a good thing too, because someone needs to balance the universe!

Now perhaps my friend John just works in an office filled with toxic and lethally negative people, but I don't think so. He never complains about work. Ever. And so I had to stop and think a good long while about what he said and why he may have said it. 

In the end I came to only one conclusion . . . he needs to get out more. Haha, just kidding! The conclusion is this, I do make an intentional effort to see the possibilities in each person in my life. Looking for that potential all the time leaves me with very little flaw-gathering time. So perhaps what he sees in me is positive in that it is focused on what could be, rather than what may be lacking today.

What would he say about you and your energy?

Long nights

The long night happens to everyone eventually.  And the longer you lie there awake when you should be/want to be sleeping, the more things you can think of that you should be getting up to do, since you can't sleep afterall. This most often happens to me the second night after arriving at a new location around the globe. Some call it jetlag, I just call it sleeplessness. And irritating.

Its the lack of productivity that makes my mind go faster and faster as I think of all the details/tasks I have missed or failed to complete, and the urgency to just get up grows. It feels like this is lost or wasted time . . . when there is so much demanding my attention. But the reality is this, that getting up is generally a big mistake, because it will just compound the sleeplessness problem the following nights. Lying in bed in the dark is still rest, regardless of how it feels. But that overpowering feeling of unproductiveness . . .

. . . is simply wrong too, because the busier you are, the dumber you may be.  You must resist this lie the most in the modern age, perhaps more than most others, because overclocked schedules keep us from not only not resting well, but from thinking clearly, and of course since I slept so little last night, my thinking processes are even more slowed today. So I must give myself more space and margin today in order to break the cycle of unproductivity tomorrow.

I know that sounds counter-intuitive, and so does my suggestion here, but you have to just relax and live in the moment of the long night. Otherwise it may become a pattern, and that would actually be a real problem.

Hanging by a thread?

Imagine my surprise today when ropes started flying across my balcony, quickly followed by two men with five gallon buckets, all on the 12th floor!! They redefined for me what it means to be hanging by a thread! Now for some folks, they may consider painting buildings while hanging from a single rope, to be the best jobs in the world. While the majority of us may think, "what desperation drove these men to take such risks every day?"

But it won't take you very long to think of times when you have backed yourself into a corner which led to you taking big risks for low rewards. Most of us have been in this spot in our lives. Even though we are not Burmese laborers working for sub-par wages in Thailand, we still have woke up to find ourselves hanging by a thread, emotionally, financially, vocationally, spiritually (hopefully not physically like these guys!). It is a horrible place to be, yet, in some way it quantifies the non-hanging by a thread moments and events.

So my challenge to you (and of course myself) is to accurately assess where you are today, compared to, one of those hanging by a thread times in life. 

Suddenly my day just got a lot brighter and better.

One of THESE days!

Sometimes you can't believe that you get to be where you are today! Since yesterday was “sometimes you don't want to be where you are” day, it is fitting to have a follow up day to the contrary. Honestly this is my more normal day, where the world is tilted correctly and most things happen in a predictable manner that allows planning, thinking and building something important.

Today was one of “these” days. Even sick, this day is about 1000 times better than yesterday. What objectively changed? Really nothing at all…at least that is measurable or visible. In fact, it rained most of the day! So it wasn't the weather. I am in fact, sick and sitting on…er…the throne, or at least not getting far from it (like six steps is the limit). So what is the difference, that even an Asian bug can't falter? What is better today than yesterday? No resets needed, no change of scenery or pace to get things moving in the right direction. What is different?

Only small things, and that is both wonderful and horrible. Perspective that happened mentally yesterday, but never made it to the feeling level, was just right today, the feeling and thinking were in sync. Sleep was better last night, the exercise today about the same. Food was just as good. Weather was worse. Physically I felt much better today, well until about an hour ago when Matsuma's revenge attacked. Like I said, very small, little things. The great news is that it doesn't really take too much to have a much better day. The horrible news is that it doesn't really take too much to have a much worse day.

It seems to me that I am, or should be, much much much much more resilient than that. To think that so little could swing the pendulum so far. In fact, if you had asked me two days ago, I would have told you that I was indeed, much much much too resilient to be swung by so little in either direction. But evidently I am not, at least not on these two particular days.

One of those days

Sometimes you just don't want to be where you are today. I know you have had one of “those" days. One of those days where you are glad you can swear in three languages - fluently. One of those days, where your feet are dragging and your heart is flagging and your thoughts are sagging. You make a valiant effort to turn things around and get them moving in the right direction - any direction other than the one you have been headed in the whole day. You step back and think it through and know in your heart that this is a temporary phenomena but you can't seem to convince your soul.

It's one of those days where it seems everyone is nasty and mean without any cause, much less a "just” one. It feeds your negative experience. You are discombobulated and out of whack and just off it seems. The day can't end fast enough. Even a great meal can't assist you in turning the corner…half way through, you just lose your appetite and really don't enjoy the great thing before you, but you eat it anyways, out of habit more than joy.

You attempt a number of “resets” but it isn't happening. You just want to go home, but you don't know where that is any longer, and in my case, I haven't known where that is for decades. There is almost a sense of cosmic mischief afoot, determined to wreck the battle. A long walk to change the speed and pace, and all you get is a headache. Purpose seems to have deserted you completely and you can't remember all the reasons in your heart, for bringing you to this place, for this need, for this very necessary presence, here, right now. Or the price seems unnaturally high for the results.

Thankfully tomorrow is a new opportunity and start. May it be much much better than today.

Role changes

There are many roles that a person plays over the course of their lives. One that I never envisioned for myself is caretaker … of people that I love. It started about eight years ago when my wife suddenly and unexpectedly started having seizures, as a result of the epilepsy that we never knew she had. Of course unless you grow up wanting and expecting to take care of people as a vocation, you never will anticipate this role sneaking up on you. (since then, my brother and my mother have joined in the need to have some caretaking - my role expands)

Now let me make it abundantly clear, my wife is no wilting violet, hypochondriac, in no way does she ever live a “poor pitiful me” attitude in life. But there have been a number of moments in the last eight years where she is utterly dependent on help to even get dressed or showered or out of bed in the morning. Something neither of us ever could have imagined when we got married over 27 years ago. Something that neither of us would have believed could happen to us. But it did and it does. And now I am going through severe back pain in a chronic ongoing pattern that is both incredibly painful and very worrying, and I need a caretaker!

So we find ourselves at another one of those moments, recent surgeries keeping her immobile, as much as she hates any kind of perceived weakness in herself and as much as she detests having me (or anyone) help her. The result is that I cook by proxy sometimes - another unimaginable role that I can do now with aplomb. Cooking by proxy entails Brenda telling me what to do from whatever prone position she finds herself forced to remain in, while I make jokes and behave badly in the kitchen. Thus it takes two of us to make a simple cobbler, one that a small child could have done. But we did it together … in roles that we could not have imagined just a short while ago … and we had some good laughs along the way. Perhaps these role changes are not as bad as they seem? Perhaps this is the way to really grow and develop, by being forced to do so? Hmmmmm . . . 

Focus

Where are you focused? And what do you see there? Call it vision, call it foresight, call it prophecy. Or it could be more concrete, like my current scenery. Here is what I am looking at, now, at this very moment of writing.

Some would say that I am focused on a huge mountain range, some might say that I am focused on how small I am in comparison. But actually I am focused on you - my surroundings are just giving me scale to think, scale to be inspired, to see what I could not with a lesser vista.

So what are you focused on? The immediate? Depending on the task or need, it can be most excellent and most productive to be fully immersed in the now, in deep work, in the current, in the present, in the urgent. Or are you focused on the end game, the future, the result? How well can you see it? Can you sense it vaguely, or is it a sharp and persistent vision? Can you envision what it can be, what it will be, how it will take place, the steps to get there, to experience it, to bring it to fruition?

Focus has at least two parts, and maybe more depending, the first part is understanding WHAT you should be focused on - the timing of your focus, now, mid and future - and the second part is WHAT you see, the product, the sermon, the content, the competency, the skill, the reality out there … eventually. I could focus on the vista in front of me, the cool slight breeze on my face, the sun peeking through the clouds, the ambience of this mountain side cafe, the smell of the fresh air, the sounds of the birds chattering. Or I could be focused on you, what you are facing, what you are challenged by, what you need, your dreams, your goals, your hopes - fueled and scaled and inspired by all that is immediately present around me.

Tender skin?

“You don't have tender skin!” The guy mumbled under his breath as I walked away … after decking him hard on a cold Sunday afternoon football game many years ago. He had been giving me a hard time because I was wearing forearm guards. When he asked me why, I had told him that I had tender skin. It's important in football, and it's important in life, to have skin in the game. Nike has a slogan these days similar to this.

Are you invested enough in your work, your life, your family, your passion, your calling to have skinned knees and elbows? Have you wrestled to the point where you have left skin behind? Have you competed, struggled, stretched, reached, discovered, thought, inspired, mobilized, empowered, and settled for nothing less than your best in your fields of responsibilities? In your areas of opportunities? In building your core competences or products? Have you sweated and toiled and been diligent? Do you have skinned knees and elbows to show your commitment, your resolution, to produce something beautiful and unique and of high quality?

Most people think following your passion is simply about doing what you want, or what comes easy, or what requires the least from you. I believe it means quite the opposite. It means caring enough about the outcome that you leave skin behind. Everyone considers my wife a great linguist, and it's true that she actually enjoys language learning (shudder!). But what no one but me sees, day after day, year after year, and now decade after decade, is how hard and diligently she works at it. She has got skin in the game. What about you?

The alone times

Most people find they don't get enough alone time. And when one of these moments comes along, they find they don't know what to do with it. I hear this over and over, and sometimes even experience it myself.

It is especially difficult when you find yourself alone while, or because of, trying to do the right thing! Alone can be down right lonely when you find yourself standing alone or all alone because you are doing the right thing for the right reasons.

The challenge is to find enough internal discipline to stay the course. To stay in the right, no matter how painful or alone or difficult you find the moment. Tomorrow will be a new day and you want to be able to look yourself in the eye and not be ashamed of anything.

The other side of this, is choosing to be alone. To think, to pray, to create, to accomplish the difficult work of building something beautiful or valuable. These types of important activities demand alone time. They can't be produced in the middle of constant interruption and distraction.

All too often though we find the discomfort overpowering our golden opportunities.

The asphalt is really hard

Asphalt is hard. I mean really really hard! I met with said asphalt in a very unfriendly meeting last night. Very unexpected and very very quickly. I went down so fast, I don't even have any defensive wounds … just lots of sore sore muscles and a bent bicycle frame.

It is nothing short of amazing how quickly and smoothly one can get around the city on a bicycle. In my opinion, it is the ultimate transportation. Nimble, maneuverable, light, green and faster than a car by a great distance in heavy traffic in the city, because you can navigate to the front of the huge backups at each and every traffic signal. Literally I can cross the city twice as fast as a car during afternoon rush hour. But all of that is predicated on keeping the two wheels on the tarmac. All of those advantages only come into play when you keep it upright!

When the unexpected, the totally unforeseen is forcibly interjected into the mix, I went down like a sack of cement! I am most thankful that there was no car right behind me at that moment (and beyond thankful for my helmet seeing how my head bounce more than once off the pavement) or there could have easily been an obituary rather than a blog coming out of the experience. But life is very much like this unexpected fall, you are just motoring along and then boom! Down you go!

Now the question for life and for biking is the same - how do you respond to the unexpected, painful though it may be? At least this time, I got up this morning (albeit very slowly and gingerly), climbed back on the bike and started up the hill.

Leadership has consequences

Leadership always has consequences. In my conversations with clients yesterday, this was never more evident. The current authority they find themselves under is mostly just bad management, under the guise of leadership. I have been there, drank the water, have the t-shirt, and never want to see that place ever again in my whole life! But what advice do you give folks locked into such a situation? When you are the one doing the advising, THAT type leadership also has consequences, big consequences!

All leadership must take into consideration the impact, scope and scale that said leadership inflicts on the lives of the people living and operating under it. In vocational leadership, it involves compensation, decades of preparation, high emotional involvement, and a persons livelihood and existence. These are high stakes indeed. It is infuriating to see how little thought and care are given to the people caught in these leadershipless actions, how little consideration is given to the sacrifice and service given to an organization, how quickly organizations can move to remove any one of us, when our perceived value is compromised. Life is way more complicated than a simple balance sheet.

“Christian” organizations are the worse, because of Whom we serve. It is demanded of us, a much higher standard of diligence and care and mercy and understanding and commitment to one another. But alas, Christian organizations seem to be the most ruthless, the quickest to pull the trigger in pulling the rug out from under people, the least Christ-like of all in the end. Cynical? Not really, because in my leadership development business, all my clients are Christ-followers, and most of them work for Christian parent organizations, and I see this happen over and over and over again.

When will anyone stand up and say, “enough” and live and build and continue a different organization!? I guess I have.

Laying our souls bare

Everyone eventually has a soul-baring event, moment, situation, crisis, need or end. There inevitably occurs a space in life, where someone is hurt and may die, is terminal, has Alzheimer's, cancer, lost a job, broken a law, facing consequences of bad decisions, financial disaster, a bad car accident, or maybe you are facing your own mortality. Some of us even PRACTICE soul-baring because we believe it to be good for the soul! Hopefully you have people in your life with which you can bare your soul.

I did this today … just talked to a missionary who works for another organization about the double loss of a parent with Alzheimer's, about betrayal in my parent organization, about my brother who is destroying himself with alcohol, about my wife who is in constant pain, about the way some of my clients are being trashed by their mission, about the lost people surrounding me, about my hopes and wishes for my children and grandchildren.

Granted, not all of this soul-baring is equal, but many of them are excruciatingly painfully emotional, and the rest can cause quite a bit of stress, angst and turmoil. These are matters of the soul. Left inside they soon start to smell like the meat in my in-laws deep freezer after the compressor burned out and it sat in there rotting for weeks. It is a smell you can never get out of the freezer! You have to throw away the freezer too! Don't let matters get that old and moldy, much less to the point of rotting. Let it out, bare your heart your soul …to someone. Let the refreshing cleansing begin.

And occasionally all of us should wear the other suit as well. We need to be the one that listens to others bare their souls. It can be very therapeutic and helpful for all involved. Most often my internal response is simply thankfulness, that I only have what I have to bear, and not what this poor soul who is sobbing has to bear. It is finally great practice at listening, which not only helps the one baring their soul to you, but helps you appreciate it when someone else does it for you. Everyone eventually gets here. Be ready.

NewYears Eve 2013

The city is exploding with fireworks, as its citizens celebrate the end of the old and the arrival of the new. Our last two children arrived earlier today, and so we have a full nest, and thus our hearts are celebratory as well. It is a meaningful and heart-filling way for us to go out with the old and to bring in the new.

We are overwhelmed with thankfulness of God's goodness to us, even though in many ways it was a very challenging year. We said goodbye to Brenda's mother this year, which is was an unexpected heartbreak, and the day after we had her burial, our first grandchild was born, which would have been mom's first great-grandchild. It was a bitter and sweet time, and fairly reflective of the year as a whole.

We reduced our footprint significantly again this year, as we did last year, and found creative ways to live wider and farther on less resources. Or said another way, we chose to live with less, and less amenities, so that we could be closer to family and siblings which are in the middle of very difficult and terminal circumstances. We are making decisions that require us to walk more, bicycle more, take more time to get from point A to B, yet saving significant dollars, so that we can spend more days with those we love the most and have the least time remaining. Another one of those bitter and sweet experiences.

Yet our reach and influence in work has never been larger, our life-changing and significant points of growth and impact never greater. So we are thankful that we get to do meaningful and important work, even while our difficulties in our family are at a stage that is less than fun or frivolous. Bitter and sweet riding the same wave again.

This has been a year of hard lessons and events, yet some of the best moments too. Our grand-daughter brings us so much joy, and we have gotten to see her and spend time with her more than we imagined we ever would. We miss mom and have a hole in our hearts in the place she had in our lives. Other parents are struggling desperately as are some of our siblings, and we live far far away and that adds another layer of difficulty to the whole process and life we live.

But time moves forward and does not stop for any one of us, nor does even pause or give us a moment to catch our breath. 2013 is passing away into the history books and 2014 looms before us. We will make choices each day how to live it, and that will shape the now and the tomorrows.

What could we change?

We went to the bike show. No matter what you hear to the contrary, bikes are totally in vogue! There were a thousand bikes in the show or ridden to the show. Modifications were only limited by someone's imagination or dream.

It is something to consider were we to apply the same creativity to our vocation, productivity and innovation. What could we develop? What value could we provide? What could we change? We are only limited by our imagination or dreams!

Christmas Eve

This is Christmas Eve.  What that means to people is different as people are different. When I was a kid, this was the most anticipated event of my entire year.  It was the anticipation that made it so incredibly rich and intense. Christmas Day itself, never topped the pure pleasure of Christmas Eve, it equaled it some years, but never exceeded it.

There is an important lesson in that for life in general. Anticipation is the great energizer, that which gives life the best texture, the deepest pleasure, the most richness, it is the great enhancer of life deep and full. The physical equivalent would be when you are at the pinnacle of conditioning, right before you run the marathon you have been training for for the last 10 months.  The spiritual equivalent would be when you heart is clean and your sins forgiven, the freshness of a new start, especially after really blowing it. Anticipation. It is Hope alive and well.

Anticipation is usually even better than whatever you are, …er, well, anticipating.  Not always, but usually. If I approach life overall this way, filled with anticipation of what can be, may be, could be, might happen, could occur, it is the ultimate what if. And that potential can set us free to be…

The best worst

Christmas is the worst best time of the year to travel. Travel at this time of year can create such amazing anticipation, and the deepest of worries. We can be together with our family again … probably, if we make too tight connections, if the fog lifts, if the plane is not delayed, if the snow storm misses us.

Yes Christmas is a really really bad weather time of the year to travel. In fact the Skopje Airport has only had one flight land the last three days. Of course I am winging my way exactly that direction … and no I don't know if I will finally get home tonight or not. I cannot control the fog blanketing the Balkan Peninsula, nor can I fly the plane, nor do I make any of these decisions. The only decision that I get to make, is the one that happens inside of me. To be bitter and complain about the stupid weather, or fully present in the moment of my life right now and maximize it, experience it for all it is, rather than what I had hoped it might be?

Probably I will eventually get home and the kids flights will eventually arrive and all that I hope for will probably happen. But this is the most important moment of my life, in fact the only one I have. Best be fully present here in this moment now.

Jealousy and perspective

Jealousy can take many forms. Usually we think of it in terms of relationships and rights. But the way that it disables most leaders is in the glass-half-empty variety.

This is a malaise where you can not seem to have any keen appreciation for what you have, but only feel the “lack” that you perceive or think that you are experiencing. I am having this problem myself lately. I can only think about how other people's jobs are so much more fulfilling or easier than mine.

Of course this is not accurate, but the feeling is persistent. How do you overcome feelings that persist, especially when you cognitively know that they are not real or correct? Well that is a great question and one worthy of an answer.

One method that I am attempting today is a change of location. This has the automatic effect of changing all the rules and thus the feelings. I am no less creative than ever, but the change of location helps tremendously to alleviate all the symptoms of uninspiration and the lack of creativity. It gives an immediate sense of new possibilities and potential and new vista's open up cognitively in a real and immediate way.

Perhaps we only need a change of seating to change our outlook? Perhaps we need far less than we think to open up a new way of seeing things? Perhaps we need only to change the seat we are sitting in to have a new understanding of what surrounds us and defines the possibilities of today? How might you apply this to what you are facing right now?

The way things used to be isn't better than they are now.

The last time we stayed here in Ohrid our kids were small and we had a great time together. Now the kids are grown and one of them has even produce the darling child in the picture above. So this round, we are at Ohrid with one of our kids and our grandchild! There are marked differences in the two trips, but one is not better than the other, they are just different, and both are enjoyable. Of course Peanut (pictured above) is so young that she can't enjoy the lake and the food and the ambiance of a resort town. On the other hand, she is alot easier to satisfy than the 10, 8, and 6 year olds were.

The weirdness of time

Time is super weird.  Today as I was trying to get to the airport and was delayed at every point, time seemed to fly.  Then when I finally got to the airport for an International flight but the flight was not listed on any of the boards, time seem to surge forward ever faster and faster.  Would I make it to the gate in time? What if I had to switch concourses again?  What if I had to go all the way back to the rental car facility and start over??!!

This was real and urgent, though I can't explain it in a cogent fashion.  Thankfully there was a great article today about time management, and how it is really consciousness management and you can read that whole article here, "The Paradox of Doing More" by Faisal Hoque and Drake Baer.

By the way, it only took 36 minutes from rental car return to departure gate in the real world . . . but I swear to God it felt like almost three hours and I would have bet a $1000 that it really was.  Poor consciousness management.

Changes and losses?

There are few days more frustrating than one which starts at 2:40 AM with a mad rush to the airport to catch an EARLY morning flight . . . only to be bumped because the flight is overbooked and Austrian Airways, in a huge gaff, sent down a smaller plane on a day when the outgoing was overbooked!  So after I have three new flights assigned to me, I then cool my heels for two hours waiting for a flight to leave, when I could have been sleeping!!

Made the super short connection in Zagreb, and even chugged down a cappuccino, although that made me the last person on the flight to Frankfort.  After one of the most thorough and invasive security checks I have ever experienced (and that is saying something!!) I race to my gate, although I don't even have a boarding pass for the third leg of the flight.  If you have ever been to Frankfort, you know what a HUGE airport it is, and it takes far too long to get anywhere there.  I had less than a hour, change of terminals, no boarding pass, and the security-of-invasive-hell stopping me.  But I made the flight - last person on the plane twice in a row!

But the disappointing news was when the guy, with a hair-sticking-straight-up-into-the-air gel mohawk, was printing me a boarding pass, he informed me that they had already lost track of my checked bag.  

The funniest thing of all is that, I arrived at my destination 2.5 hours earlier than I would had I been able to keep my original flights!!  Isn't that just like life?  Crap happens, and everything gets changed around, you get all stressed out about what you cannot not possibly change, only to find out in the end, that what happened to you, carried a great gift. On the other hand, the bag arrived two days later.

The muscle team

This is a Sunday morning in Germany.  Berlin is absolutely one of my very favorite cities in the world and fortunately I get to enjoy the city regularly as my work brings me here often.  

As it is Sunday, church is a central part of my morning and focus.  But today I get to play a very special role.  Today I was part of the muscle on the venue team.  The venue team does all the heavy lifting and they get no up front time, no thanks, no public appreciation, no pats on the shoulder at the end of the service and hear "good sermon pastor." They get no kudos, encouragement, cheers, admiration nor many volunteers for that matter (for all of the above reasons and more).

But their work is essential for the good of the whole and regardless of how thankless a task it might be, church would simply not happen in its current form without them. So why am I, a person who has spoken here in this church in Berlin many times, and have spoke in far larger venues many times, working with the venue team as part of their muscle? What Matthew records Jesus saying is, "The greatest among you shall be your servant. Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted."

That does not play well in this world, but it sure does in the world that matters.

Thanksgiving

Thankfulness. It is super fitting that I posted the previous post on this day as well. Because thankfulness and contentment are very closely related. And perhaps after I complete this blog, I will write one on gratefulness, because that is the third part of the same wheel. But today is Thanksgiving Day, as in the official holiday.

Unfortunately it has been four long years since I got to enjoy an American Thanksgiving in America. It simply is not the same, in fact nothing at all like it, outside of the country. Today I am in Southeast Asia, and there is nothing special about this day here. No one is off from work, no one is preparing scrumptious food, no special events on TV (unless intense political unrest counts), and the consumeristic leanings of society at large are pretty much the same as they are on any other given day.

But I can be thankful, more thankful than I normally am - at which I think I have been steadily improving as I get older - I can be more intentionally grateful, and I can state those things for which I am specifically thankful. While I am intensely thankful for all the standard stuff and I do NOT take them for granted, my wife, my kids, my grand daughter, my son-in-law, my parents, my heritage, my Lord and all that His is to me, there are other things that I am thankful for. Call this the non-traditional-thankful-list.

I am thankful for work. I know I know, I am crazy, at least according to the thinking of the modern world, but work is important. Nothing is quite as satisfying as having important work and doing it well. I am thankful for warmth. The older I get, the higher this one moves up the list. I am thankful for the people who don't particularly like me - they challenge me to be/become someone they may eventually like. I am thankful for freedom, not only political freedom, but the freedom to travel, to chose, to decide, to create, to make the world a better place for everyone. I am thankful for beauty - and the older I get the more each moment takes on importance and beauty. And I am thankful for the internet, which allows me to talk/impact/coach/mentor the entire connected internetdom, to have locationless work, to have a reach that is mind boggling. I am thankful for the technology that allows me to leverage the connections I have across the world, which affords me a method to be in constant communication with my family which is always so spread out geographically. The combined paycheck of this paragraph is breathtaking.

And I am thankful.

I still haven't found what I am looking for ...

Few people find what they are looking for it seems.  No matter what they get (or you and I get in the end) in life, there seems to be a human trait that simply always yearns for that which I think I don't yet have.  Bono sang it precisely, " . . .  I still haven't found, what I am looking for . . . " And I would argue that he can't even tell you what it is, even when and if he thinks he got it. 

One of the key aspects of maturing trust in God is addressing this issue.  Contentment.  Few arrive at this point early enough to cherish it.  I think we should commit ourselves to pursuing, developing, and embracing contentment.  We are not discussing that weird idea that everything is perfect in the world, and that every desire I have ever entertained is now satisfied and sated.  Nor are we discussing the other side of this wrong understanding, where I stop striving and reaching for better competence in my work, or more understanding as I pursue God and love my family.

What we are discussing is an internal decision that "this" is "enough" for today.  A choosing to not want nor direct more resources toward me and mine.  One thing to be carefully considered in this internal decision is where you rest on the scales of "haves" and "have nots" and I can promise you, you sit higher than you think you do.  If you are reading this, then the masses of humanity have and use far less than you every day of their lives.

But the paradox is that the higher you sit on this scale the more you want of everything.

The mad dashes of a hurry up and wait life

Early morning flights are a stress-filled mix of mad dashes from point A to point B, with long stretches of waiting.  I have experienced 100's of such early morning flights.   I usually am surprised to find myself actually on the plane at last!

I think that most of life works in a very similar manner.  For instance, there are often 20-30 hours of waiting (and studying, and researching and thinking) for God to speak in sermon prep.  Then the mad dash of 25 minutes to gush it all out.  

There are many such key moments of activity in life, that pivot on the quality and character of the time spent waiting.  The waiting is the shaping, forming, development time for the mad dash of action, doing, accomplishing.

Non-romantic rides in the dark

Non-romantic rides in the dark.  I have been to Odessa four times now.  Odessa is famous in the former USSR as a premier vacation spot, as a place honeymooning couples frequent, as a romantic seaside resort.  

But trying to find a taxi at 5:00 am in the morning to get to the airport is not part of the advertising.

When you finally procure one, then you get the thrill of speeding through the dark city, dodging cars, potholes and dogs at the speed of terrifying.  Thank God there were so few other people on the road to dodge at this ungodly hour.  We ran every red light, exceeded every speed limit, and broke every known traffic law.  As always, I feel very very near to God in these situations.  Certain death always does that to me.

Then the driver tags on an additional 10% fee of extortion for the pleasure of his company. All in all just another non-romantic drive in the dark.

Back in the USSR

Recently I had a re-education.  Back in the  former USSR after a two year absence. Many things have changed, many things have stayed the same.  It is so BIG!  When living in one of the smallest countries in the world, or walking the crowded streets of Southeast Asia where the masses of people press in all the time, you can quickly forget that there are places in the world that have almost unlimited space.  

It gives a sense of peace, that is less related to the absence of conflict and more related to the fact that you can be alone very easily.  There is a profound sense of peace that comes from this wide open spread-out-BIG amount of space.  It feels simple, non-complex, straightforward . . . until you try to navigate the local transportation, or the police station or the state orphanage, or the bank.  Then you find a complexity that completely overwhelms you.  This is the "wall of bureaucracy  that every Slavic person in the former USSR fears and has deep pride in, all at the same time.

It just frustrates ex-pats.  Deep deep frustration.  Unimaginable frustration that only those who have survived it can grasp.  I have climbed that "wall" many times in the past . . . now I generally pay other people to navigate it.

Finally, there is the air.  I should have left my contacts at home.  I must have had to take them out 40 times in three days.  The dust in the air, the constant breeze blowing off of the Black Sea, yet dry as the desert . . . contact lens hell.  Ja, its good to be back, for a visit.,

What you lose

This is the document that I am working on while traveling down the road with Sasha, his wife and his grandson David.  We ran out of Russian to say to one another a long time ago . . . about 15 minutes into the 4 hour trip.  Obviously my Russian language skills are phenomenally rusty.  That is a huge understatement.  For someone who has taught at the university level in Russia, that is a painful statement.

It is proof that what you don't use, you lose.  As I said to my wife after two days of this frustration, it is amazing how much I can understand and how little I can say!  I am pretty sure this principle applies to other things in life too.  What you don't use, you lose. Your love. Your mercy. Your compassion. Your character.  Your thoughtfulness. Your passion. Your kindness. Your generosity. Your thinking. Your inspiration. Your understanding. Your appreciation. Your creativity.

Places few Christians are ever found ...

I have been doing informal research for years, poking my nose in places that few Christians are ever found, without compromising myself as a Christ-follower.  One of the most fascinating places is the smoking room/terrace/balcony/cafe/bar/ especially in and around airports.  It is the ultimate concentration of non-christian world travelers and a great representation of the world as a whole; although lately it seems to be leaning toward Asians and Eastern Europeans who apparently smoke more frequently as a whole, than the basic Westerners do.

The conversations that flow in these places is so different and so not-church oriented, as to seem like I have landed on a strange and unusual planet that has never had contact with the Christ-following world.  They talk about business, culture, politics, sex and life in a complete spiritual vacuum.  Everything is generally aimed at being humorous and clever when talking about these topics above, while being curiously transparent and honest when referring to the self in any way. I conclude from this that smokers as a group are very genuine when expressing their understandings about themselves and families, and very self-depreciating about cultural subjects in general.  They understand that they are not experts in all the issues at play and their positions reveal that while they have a position, they are not defined nor confined by their current understandings.

I would argue that we Christ-followers have much to learn about how to dialogue about ourselves and life in general from the culture at large, perhaps especially from this hyper-Christ-absent segment.  One of the things that I have begun monitoring is how people perceive me in these areas, versus the general Christ-following population.  Do people perceive me to be genuine and transparent, or do they perceive me to be self-righteous and judgmental?  Do they perceive me to be willing to enter into real dialogue about world issues or do they perceive me as believing myself to be right about all matters?

I think these are critical differences between the non-praying world and the praying world.  What would Jesus do indeed, and where might we find Him on a sunny afternoon in the Istanbul airport?