Embracing Halnon’s razor

My dad, can see the worst in everyone. He carefully thinks through the worst possible motivation for each person’s actions, and then deduces the worst possible judgement. He sees intentionality and malice and hurt in almost every person’s deeds. In fact I spend a great deal of mental energy, thinking through all the ways that a person’s actions and deeds could simply be the result of a mistake or misunderstanding or a lack of appropriate information, etc etc. But my dad can find villainous intentions in arguably everyone. Keeping myself out of that trap is plenty taxing as well!

The real world problem this creates for me, is that it can easily be contagious, where I start to attribute the worst possible thoughts toward each person that I meet and interact with around the world. I don’t want to move through life like this, like I did in the past. So I publicly thank my dad, for forcing me to “never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity” or “don’t assume bad intentions over neglect and misunderstanding” and “you have attributed conditions to villainy that simply result from stupidity.” All of these quotes are from wikipedia about Hanlon’s razor.

Thinking criminal thoughts about each person you encounter in life is all too easy as my dad proves. Stopping that process once it begins takes monumental effort as I discovered. This has application to other than personal interactions with people as well - it can apply to organizations too. After 23 years of what felt like wrestling and fighting with my previous parent organization, I finally left, and changed gears. I should have done it far sooner! However, in the almost nine years since I did leave, I have come to the conclusion that there was little malice at play.  Big organizations are simply suspect to neglect and misunderstanding. On both sides! Each action fostered more misunderstanding, and soon we came to an impasse. But it did not have to be that way. Back then I had far too much of my dad in me, and far too little generosity in my heart to give the benefit of the doubt.

Do you find yourself caught in a conspiracy theory or devil theory? What steps do you need to take, to bring back a generosity of spirit that will allow you to work Hanlon’s razor to your benefit? 

In a room filled with crazy busy people

I am currently sitting in a room filled with crazy busy people running back and forth all over the place. It's the lobby of a huge downtown London hotel in the business district of Kensington. Having just checked out and waiting for my next appointment to show up, I am watching hundreds of people rush through this lobby. But busy isn't necessarily productive. Speed isn't necessarily progress.

Everyone has the same number of hours in their day, but their accomplishments vary greatly. How about you? How about me? There is a significant difference between important and the urgent. One moves things forward, the other is loud and immediate. Which one do I concentrate my primary energy on each day, each hour of effort?

My first four to five hours in each day are the most critical for me. I have sequential actions and processes that I follow in order to contain the urgent and complete the important. Otherwise I find myself having done the urgent and distracting all day, but not finishing the important actions that move life, work and purpose forward. Example: I don't touch email until three other more critically important actions are finished each day. That usually means I rarely check email before 11:00 am.

Gary Keller states that, "Success is built sequentially. It’s one thing at a time"  That is why I block off the morning and stay with the important routine, before exposing my day to the urgent. It is also why I focus one one thing at a time. Multitasking doesn't work for most folks who are highly productive.

I find that two more critical elements to long success are exercise and sleep. When I make these two a daily priority they pay huge dividends in clarity and focus all through the day. What elements and boundaries do you need to put and keep in place to have consist forward progress on the important? Let's get it done now, because this is both important and urgent.

Fire alarms and other startling moments

As I was peacefully slumbering and trying to recover from my five time zone difference in London this morning, the fire alarm went off in the hotel bringing this blissful process to an instant end. I bolted upright in bed and started to move immediately!

Thankfully it was a "false" alarm, in the sense that the hotel did not burn down with all my gear in it, but it was an astonishingly quick way to get the day started.

Recently I have had other fire alarms go off in my life. This past year my mother and also my only sibling died. The loss of them in my life has had many of the same effects in my life like the fire alarm this morning.

The close relationships in my life have incredible value for me, and they require much more effort than I have been allocating them over the last decade. Losing my mother and brother one after the other made me stop and take stock of how I have been working this garden of relationships in my life.

A garden is the perfect metaphor. Relationships, just like gardens, require a level of regular cultivation and attention that Westerners don't naturally or easily do. We compartmentalize our time and our relationships to the point that we become offended if work relationships overlap into our "family time" or our "personal time." Even those designations are weeds in our garden of relationships! The mutuality of one single solid relationship is worth far more than a cut and dry compartment designated as "personal time" or a "family time."

I for one need far more intentionality in all my relationships, or these amazing flowers in my garden are going to wither and be gone from my life.