The negators and the instructors
There are always those people who are negative or who are going to be negative about what you are doing, or how you are doing it, or where or why you are doing it, or that you aren't doing the right thing nor the right way. It is simply the law of averages or the law of human behavior or both. You simply cannot avoid critiques. And unique to spiritual ministry (and politics I believe) is the phenomenon that the majority of people in the world think that they know how to do your job at least as good as you, and that they have the right, perhaps the obligation, to tell you how to do that job of yours that they have never done themselves.
I heard it 1000 times as a pastor, 1000 times as a missionary, and I hear it now that I am in the consulting (with a church ministry focus) business. It is simply the most frustrating and flabbergasting thing ever. I heard it on the way to the airport this morning, as my driver informed me of all the things wrong with his church, all the changes that must be made, his list of criticisms of the pastor, all from a guy who has never pastored a church for a single minute of his 55 years of living. I hear it in every single conversation about politics and "how it ought to be" or "how it would be different if I were in charge" perspectives.
There was something my dad taught me, and that I have tried to pass on to my children, in that every job in the world is much more difficult than it appears at face value, and that the more effortless it appears, the greater the master who is accomplishing it. That aside though, does not explain why these two fields in particular are consistent targets for criticism and advice. Perhaps it is as simple as the shallowness of the understanding of the negator or instructor? Maybe. I mean how hard can it be to pastor a congregation and lead a church? My grandfather always said that I only had to work one a day a week. No matter how often I pointed out to my grandfather that a pastor must excel at theology, public speaking, counseling, business, leadership, problem solving, organizational development, people development and often music as well. That is nine different fields of excellence! Even worse yet, your skills are at least equally impacted by your charisma, character and morals.
How many times someone has instructed me about how to reach more people on the mission field, even though they themselves have never learned another language, they have never learned another culture, they have never lived (much less thrived!) away from their families, traveled internationally, nor have ever worked in the church as staff! These mono-linguistic, mono-cultural, un-traveled never left their zip code negators or instructors are telling me, a professional who has 35 years of education and 30 years of experience in this work, how to better accomplish my responsibilities! The arrogance and ignorance is consistently one of the most ridiculous and insane regular occurrences in my life work.
However the conundrum is this, these negators and instructors hold one key part of this work, one tiny sliver that gives them the right, to give me input, instruction, negatives, demoralizing derogatives, and criticism in their minds . . . they enable the work with their financial resources. This is a transactional event for them. Whereas in most industries and fields, workers exchange their time for money, which involves instruction and direction from the employer, ministry workers are servants of the public, and servants of God. In other words, we exchange our LIVES for the honor of being the one's who serve, the one's who are diminished, the one's who everyone else thinks they should be accountable to ... well everyone.
The learner in me wants to honor the one voicing a concern, to listen carefully and see if I have missed something important or overlooked a critical element of the work, to be approachable and understanding. No one knows everything, even if they have my education and experience. But there are positive ways to accomplish this, it does not have to be negative nor instructive. But arrogance and ignorance are not the path to growth on either side of the equation.
We have to live with the fact of negators and instructors exist, who have little if any idea whatsoever, about what they are negating or instructing, but we don't have to let it be important. If you have a calling, if you have a passion, then go do it better than anyone else. Build, create, innovate and disrupt the world for the sake of what is inside you and your heart. Negators and instructors be damned.
